DEAR THYROID^TM

Your Thyrants this week, KICK MOTHAH FUCKIN’ ASS, LADIES! You ranted your guts out. We are so proud of youse!

Stay tuned because next week, we’re going to,  do our,  Thyrants, of course, but with a twist.

TWITTER THYRANTS

@Steeler_Gal, Are you the reason I never feel rested? Are you the reason I don’t sleep soundlu? Talk to me gland. #thyrant

@misti_hope, Dear Thyroid, Have you seen my ass? Not because it’s missing, but HOW COULD YOU MISS IT?!?

@latina702, THRANT: Why have you left me with such a sore achy throat? I mean, dang it’s been 6 months since you’ve been gone and you are still tormenting me!

@latina702, I love how Lupita Morales gets so many menstrual cycles within the month & I can’t even get one. Ain’t that about a bitch?!

@latina702, THRANT: Let’s make a trade: You give me my menstrual cycles back and I give you the PMS to take on your way out.

@latina702, THRANT: I hate how no one understands how you affect a person when you’re not working well. People just take you for granted way, way too much!

@rightwinger2, my thyrant, I don’t know what’s worse: Hashi’s or the doctors that didn’t listen.

@getsquirrel, THYRANT, The right side of my neck hurts. I blame you, dear thyroid, because what else could it be? Haven’t you done enough?

@Yodat, THYRANT – my motivation has packed up its pink Barbie suitcase and left. I wonder how long it’s going to be gone this time.

@thy_r88gous, how’s this for a thyrant, how come every time I look up, hyperthyroid, I get more websites re: cats than I do humans???????????????

FACEBOOK THYRANTS

Joyce Jordan Corley: Dear thyroid, thanks for screwing up my sleep cycle. I couldn’t go to sleep last night, so my body decided to sleep on the way home from work. I carpooled today and slept the whole way home and woke myself up snoring. How embarrassing. Thank you, thyroid.

Anita Roberts, dear thyroid, I wish you weren’t such a follower. Joyce Corley’s thyroid won’t let her sleep properly, so you have to do the same thing? I’m sleepy at 4 PM, awake at 3 AM. Here it is now, 6 AM, and I’m awake. 6 hours of sleep though. I guess I ought to be grateful. Oh, and can I have my hair back now, please???”

Linda McClure Woodham: Dear Thyroid crap you left behind. Have to see the doctor AGAIN, to try and get my numbers back in line. I’m bitchy, tired, sore and a real pain to my family. You conspired with other illness ingredients that lurked in my body and helped make my life hell. I still suffer, though you are long gone from my body. But, you left enough crap behind to continue the torture until the day I die.

Carolyn Vitale Wakefield: Dear Thyroid…you are constantly surprising me! I never know where I will ache when I get up each morning. One day, it’s my knee. One day my shoulder, and another day, it is my wrist. It’s so much fun to guess where I will hurt next!

Heather Harris Jones: Dear Thyroid, thanks for making me a major B$*#^% last week, and for producing a sleepless night, achy bones, and sleeping limbs for 3 days.

Penny Lamont McAllister: Dear Thyroid, If I can get my husband and children to understand the TOTAL CONTROL you have over my mind, body, and spirit, they MIGHT JUST REALIZE that I’m not totally crazy, lazy or a pig. You really do suck, you know that don’t you?

Bonnie Stears: My thyroid thinks NKOTB was hysterical last night, but is kicking my ass for not getting to bed till midnight.

Julie Baumer: Dear Thyroid, I believe you are the axis of evil; You act up at the worst times possible and cause evil chaos. I’ve been trying to kill you with anti-thyroid drugs for 4-years, but you’re a tough bastard and you just won’t die. Instead of you dying when I tried to poison you, it seems like I was poisoned instead. Your revenge was to make my hair fall out? So, I’m pondering my next option, to cut you, you evil twisted gland, than you will be rendered powerless to control me.

Anonymous: Dear Thyroid, I’m going to the endocrinologist tomorrow, to see if you are getting back in check, after being put back on meds, after 5-months. You are freakin’ relentless! Hopefully I can keep you in order until I kill you. I just don’t understand why you have to be such an as*hole about things and why you keep messing with me. It’s like you tease me a few months out of each year by acting normal and I feel well, then you go right back to acting up. If you were my boyfriend I’d leave you. But me and you, we’re bound together by blood. I think you and my endocrinologist are in cahoots. You both seem to be evil, twisted sadists who know you’re in power and like to watch people suffer.

Liz Schau: I’m tired of having to babysit you. Everyone else gets to play

Liz Schau: I would like to eat some chocolate without worrying what you’ll think

Liz Schau: the days I hate you the most are the days you make me sad (like today) for the things you do that I can’t control. I miss the problems I used to have before you came along — the ones I thought would ruin me. Those problems seem much easier after meeting you.

Liz Schau: PS: everyone I know hates you too

Tags: goiter rants, graves disease rants, hashimotos rants, rants about symptoms of thyroid disease, Thyrants, thyroid cancer rants, thyroid patient laments, thyroid patient support, thyroid patients lament

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