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You Don’t Gland A Chance!

Post Published: 13 July 2009
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 6 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

Did my last letter really encourage you that much?,   If so, then rock on!,   I say this because I feel like you’ve kicked it up a bit; that little bit of you that still works, is still working a little bit more, perhaps.  And, I think you’ve been doing pretty well lately.  Maybe it’s the summertime.  What organ wouldn’t love summer?,   Okay, okay, so the skin doesn’t…. not without SPF 1,000,000, but the rest of us have been pretty happy lately.

Yes, Brain has been clear, and can recognize people, perform arithmetic, and knows where it is all the time.  Mood has been stable and generally amicable.  There have been no days or weeks in recent memory of Irritable Male Syndrome with its fits of uncontrollable object-smashing rage and wanting to go all STABBITTY on people, and then squish their gooey insides through our tightly clenched fingers.  Yes, days have been good.

So good in fact, that yesterday we all were a bit horny.   Mr. Mister down there was actually in the mood to go poking around for once.   How long has it been now since that happened?  … Well, I’ve forgotten, too.

This here brings up a problem.   If Mr. Mister wants the hokey pokey, the rest of us are going to have to tidy up a bit.   Chop, chop!,   There’s work to do.   Let me preface this by saying much of this isn’t your fault.   No, it’s mom’s fault for passing on certain genes from her side of the family.   But really, do you have to make my hair and skin, and fingernails grow so fast lately?,   That’s another reason I know you’ve kicked it up a bit.  My fingernails grew one-eighth of an inch just in the last 6 days!,   I have to trim my beard every other day to keep from looking like Z. Z. Top.   And there’s hair everywhere because you’re growing it faster than I can handle it.   I have hair growing in places I didn’t even know I had skin.  Trust me when I say, the “Big Hairy Man” look went out of style in the early 1980’s.   Besides, all this “wolfing out” makes me feel itchy.   That’s enough to give me Irritable Male Syndrome itself.

So, I don’t know…. what’s it going to be for me?,   Feeling great, but looking like a gorilla and being self-conscious about it?,   Or, looking good and knowing I look good, but being too “blah” to do anything?,   Why won’t you let me have my cake and eat it, too?

(Bio) Mike is 36 years old, and has suffered thyroid disease for more than 10 years now.   He used to be active, but mostly he just rests too much.   He’s the only male he knows with thyroid disease, but his older sister has it too (worse than him). Find out more about Mike by hitting his website.

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6 Responses to “You Don’t Gland A Chance!”

  1. quin browne says:

    i worry about the day i start to grow hair in places that isn’t too ladylike.

  2. Jody says:

    Hi Mike,

    hehehe – what a great sense of humour – but then again, what else can you do? 🙂

    My partner is bald on top and has hair everywhere else. He is very self conscious about the ‘everywhere else’ hair but I don’t mind it one bit and tell him so at every opportunity.

    Kind regards,
    Jody.

  3. Pam says:

    Thanks for your letter & sense of humor, Mike. It must be difficult being a male when thyroid disease seems to have a majority of female patients. May you be well.

    All the best,
    Pam

  4. dearthyroid says:

    isn’t this letter great ladies? we adore him. funny, honest writer. 🙂

  5. Mary says:

    LOVE your letter, Mike. And guess what… I used to live in Roanoke. Might’ve passed you on Hwy 114!!!

  6. Zari says:

    Actually lots of men get this disease, we are just outnumbered by the larger numbers of women. Plus if we had our own website it might not have such nice pictures of half clad women on it as we’d be trying to be proper and supportive and all that stuff.

    To tell the truth, till I came here I didn’t realize how predominately female this disease is. Now I am all for integrating our ying and yang, being in touch with the female part of my psyche in a Jungian sense and all that other internal workings of the soul stuff. Really I am. But Graves disease was definitely not what I had in mind when I would talk about accepting my feminine side……I liked your description of irritable male syndrome. When in doubt, break something….. Of course not being a disturbed teenager any more, I don’t actually break things and hit people. I just feel like it. But post Graves, post I131 as apathetic and lethargic as I was, I felt like I was moving toward that and it wasn’t good.

    I’m jealous of your hair. Mine didn’t come back, at least not on my legs. My daughters make jokes about do I shave them…..

    I aslo fully related about the sex. Back when it was low, not only could I not have sex, I couldn’t remember why I wanted to. It’s nice to return to being frustrated instead of apathetic.

    I guess we can relate to the appearance stuff just like some of the ladies do here. I have a picture of me taken when I was mostly better from the post I131 crash. I shaved my beard for Halloween. My wife screamed when she first saw me, my older daughter (age 16) said “oh shit daddy you look scary” and when I woke her up for school the next day said “oh shit I forgot, you are still scary” and my younger (age 11) daughter cried and asked me not to sit too close to her at dinner. My brother and sister both had similar comments and commented on strange men with axes living in shacks on the edge of town…..

    That’s not the worst though.

    A year later, next Halloween, I bought a long gray wig, witch hat, bra, spider web stockings, and appropriate outer garments and dressed as a witch but kept my beard. Everyone agreed that being in full witch drag was less of a disguise than simply shaving my beard. Last year my youngest daughter made me promise that no matter what I wouldn’t shave my beard for Halloween.

    I don’t think this is really a good thing. However I found a picture the other day and my eldest daughter commented that if I shaved my beard now I probably wouldn’t look like that any more.

    I like my endo a lot and think she does a good job. But I showed her the picture and she saw nothing unremarkable. I’d think maybe I was a bit crazy except that all my family disagrees with her.

    Hang in there.

    Ladies can I post a picture here somehow?

    Zari

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