DEAR THYROID^TM

TWITTER

@danabaker Thanks for forcing me to have blood tests every 3 months. It’s lovely getting poked with a big, fat needle.

@othergretchen,  I sometimes worry that people see my pasty complexion, needle marks, and giant arm bruises and take me for a junky!

@othergretchen,  I hate worrying if my current energy levels are due to too much supplements and will go away after the next checkup.

@lejeal, Why me?

@charlcies I don’t want to lower my Levoxyl dose again, doctor! I’m tired enough as it is! Thanks again, thyroid…. and cancer.

@Yodat I can’t remember what my thyrant,  was going to be about… Wait a minute…! 🙂

@EAWake Why, dear pituitary gland, are you such a drama queen?

@ekr8401 I’m hungry. Wait, no I’m not. Did I just eat breakfast? Or was that lunch? Or was that yesterday? Did I take my thyrococktail today? Was I supposed to work today? Oh CRAP!,

@busytucker I want a better thyroid. I’ve had enough of this one now. It’s gone on too long and I’m tired.

@tchatchke My thyroid left me and hasn’t even bothered to write me since. Instead, some doctor tells me why he had to go. Bastard.

@greenmtn_amoeba My endo is on an exotic vacation, which my thyroid and I helped pay for. Where’s my vacation, thyroid? Can’t I get a couple of days off?

@getsquirrel I feel guilty ranting when Graves’ symptoms have decreased so much since going gluten-free!

@getsquirrel Just when I was celebrating, feeling great, you’ve turned my skin into that of a teenager! Can’t you leave well enough alone?? >:

FACEBOOK

Pamela Lau How about checking the time 50 times in the last 5 minutes and still not remembering what time it is? And thinking, I’ll post this several times, but I’ll keep forgetting. L

Madison Merritt, Thyrant: Dear Thyroid/Immune System, Could you both please work together! Immune System, could you stop attacking my thyroid, I don’t know what it said or did to you, but you know it can’t be that big of a deal, nothing to warrant an attack. By the way, you are hurting me and the process. And, thyroid you don’t have to be such a whiner and a tattle tale. Fight back, or just stop, so I can have you replaced. I know it hurts your feelings to know this, but you are replaceable. So both of you start working together or else someone is getting an eviction notice.

Joanna Isbill, Thank you, thyroid cancer, for making me so skinny. I mean, not “Dang, you look smokin’ hot” skinny. I feel more like “Dang, did you eat last week?” skinny. (I did eat last week, by the way. A lot.) I am sick and tired of getting comments about how lucky I am to be so skinny. Really?! Are you kidding me??? I’ll take a few extra pounds over cancer any day!

Julie Baumer,   Dear Thyroid: Thanks so much for the long lady cycle and turning me into a complete demon this weekend! It’s always fun for all when you fuck with me!

Regina Cintron,  Dear Thyroid, even though you are gone, thanks for making me exhausted and made to,  feel like a fairy tale freak. First, I was locked up in my own castle like some princess having RAI. My hubby calls me “The Princess and the Pea”, and I usually feel like Goldilocks because everything is too hot, too cold, too hard, too soft, too this, and too that. When is everything going to be JUST RIGHT!? Stupid thyroid cancer. Thanks for screwing up my life.

Amy Elizabeth Parker It really is a love/hate thing with you. I know when things are really bad when I have no patience with my two and a half year old. I snap, and then I feel bad about it, and then depressed. On the other hand, I have given up gluten and I am in the process of giving up refined sugar. I feel much better off those evils. I really do not know what tomorrow will bring in terms of how I feel.

EMAIL/WEBSITE

Enid: Dear Thyroid: Thank you for sparing me the need to get a tattoo. Every morning when I wake up, my face has a brand new ‘pillow tattoo.’ Now that I’m 56, I can be as hip as any 26 year old. The really cool thing you do for me, is allow me to have a different one every day! You even create ankle tattoos for me from my socks. Way to go, Thyroid!

Alexia: I know I am menopausal. I know I have a tendency to gain weight. But, its summer, I look like a watermelon. I hate you for reformulating Armour! I was doing well!!! I actually looked like a hottie!!!!!,  ,  Where are you Westhroid? I am waiting, please come on Monday. My 1/2gr.  TID alternating with 1/2gr. BID. I hope my new mail at the pharmacist’s has been processed!!!!! Westhroid, you better work!!!!!!

Tags: goiter rants, graves disease rants, hashimotos rants, rants about symptoms of thyroid disease, Thyrants, Thyrants July 11-18, thyroid cancer rants, thyroid patient laments, thyroid patient support, thyroid patients writing about their disease

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