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Krappa Krappa Glanda
Dear Thyroid,
When I went to college, I didn’t join a sorority. Even if they’d had them at Georgetown, a sorority didn’t really sound like my thing. All that giggling and doing each other’s nails and such didn’t appeal to me. But thanks to you, I’ve ended up in a whole new sort of sorority — not by choice — mind you, but by necessity. Yes, you, dear thyroid, are the one who apparently pledged me against my will to the Thyroidority…
Now, I am forever bound to my fellow thyroid patients by a hazing initiation ritual we all have shared — known as the “Haywire Thyroid.”
We haven’t come up with an official name for the Thyroidority yet — Krappa Krappa Glanda perhaps? But it doesn’t really matter what our Thyroidority’s named… those of us who belong know all the ins and outs of this sacred bond.
First of all, the only thing we get to drink during Thyroidority Pledge Week will probably be some radioactive iodine. And if we’ve already had our fill of RAI, then we’ll check out the punchbowl — I believe we’ll be spiking it with Slimfast this week.
Second, the Thyroidority is not snobbish or exclusive, in fact, we are quite inclusive. You can be young or old, tall or short, thin or fat. You can even be a guy — though not as many of them manage to find their way into the Thyroidority, they are still welcome.
Third, the Thyroidority does have the whole legacy thing going, like other sororities and fraternities. That means, if your mom, or your sister, grandma or other relative was in the Thyroidority, it’s very possible that you will be too. You won’t have a choice about it, of course, but hey, welcome to all you legacy members anyway!
Fourth, we have a secret handshake. Actually, we have two secret handshakes. If we’re from the Graves’ disease and hyperthyroid chapter of the Thyroidority, our hands just shake all on their own. And if we’re in the Hashimoto’s/hypothyroid chapter, we always know another member of the Thyroidority not by the actual handshake itself, but by the near sub-zero temperatures of our hands!
Fifth, we have not yet adopted an official Thyroidority song, but we are looking for nominations. Perhaps my fellow Thyroidority sisters (and brothers) can make suggestions here in the comments section. My personal fave is the White Stripes’ “Girl, You Have No Faith In Medicine”. But I’m sure that there are plenty of great Thyroidority songs we can consider at our next meeting!
Finally, there are some top-secret things that only those who are members of the Thyroidority can know. For example, what it actually feels like to gain 20 pounds in one month without changing your diet or exercise. What it’s like to need a nap to recuperate from the arduous task of getting up to have breakfast. The unique look on a doctor’s face when he says “your TSH is normal, you really should consider Prozac.”, And of course, the information that we keep in the sacred secret Thyroidority Book of Books: the names of the handful of endocrinologists in the U.S. who truly understand thyroid disease, really care about their patients, and don’t own a Rolls Royce thanks to Synthroid kickbacks.
Because every week is pledge week at the Thyroidority, we of course welcome new members all year round. And my dear thyroid, just think…I have you to thank for all of it!
Love,
Mary Shomon
Everyone’s Thyroidority Sister
(Bio) Mary is author of a number of best-selling books on thyroid disease, hormones, autoimmune disease, and weight loss, and a nationally-known spokesperson and activist for patient rights. In addition to her work with About.com, Mary founded and runs the Thyroid-Info Website, and since 1997 has published Sticking Out Our Necks, the only independent, advertising-free thyroid disease newsletter for patients. Read more about Mary Shomon. Follow Mary on Twitter, Friend Mary on Facebook and join Mary’s Global Support Community on Facebook., Check out, thyroid related books by Mary Shomon — Every Thyrella and Thyfella should have at least one in their thybrary.
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52 Responses to “Krappa Krappa Glanda”
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BRILLIANT!!
Wonderfully written, Mary!!! (Duh) I didn’t get to go to college when I was younger….I’m trying to obtain my college degree now….through the thyroid fog! But, anyhoo, it figures that the sorority that I would be asked—-er—-forced to join would be called “Krappa Krappa Glanda”. How lucky for me.
Awesome
Thanks to my fellow members of Krappa Krappa Glanda, Katie and Sue, who were the direct inspiration for my letter. They really are thyroid sisters, through thick and thin, and if there are any any good things that come out of being in the Thyroidority, a key one for me it’s getting to know them, and admiring their mission of awareness and empowerment for other thyroid patients!
spot on!! esp. the needing a nap from getting out of bed. good lord. the fatigue is just crippling some days!
Thanks, Mary!
What I don’t get, is how many of the endos I have run across are not part of the sorority. I thought about this, today, while attending a thyroid petting, I mean… doctor’s appt.
this is fantastic… i laughed and honestly had a few tears… thanks for posting!
I am a member of KKG..this is funny and sad because it is true..quote..”The unique look on a doctor’s face when he says “your TSH is normal, you really should consider Prozac… It happened to me..3X
Maybe the rivals should be called KKD…Krappa Krappa DOCTOR
Now with a lowered TSH and better T3 levels, I am able to study later on in life ( like my sister Cyndi )and actually comprehend and retain something..and NO KKD,I don’t take Prozac or any other thing that can damage my thyroid.
Thanx
oops thyroid fog..not enough T3
Oh, so true! I confirmed my joining the KKG by going back to school and wondering why in the world was nothing sticking. I used to be smart. I used to be aware of my surroundings. Comprehension? Yep, used to have that, too.
I have a great theme song for our thyroids! It is a cheesey pop song, but someone told me I should give it a listen and I liked it. It is Nick Jonas’ song about his Type 1 Diabetes, but it can apply to any disease.
Jonas Brothers – A Little Bit Longer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBd0rkdtEXQ
Lyrics: http://artists.letssingit.com/jonas-brothers-lyrics-a-little-bit-longer-fbnrmbj
Thank you, Dear Thyroid and Mary Shomon! You make me laugh and cry (good tears).
welcome Caroline!! so glad you can join in on the sisterhood!
I just can’t thank my Thyroidority sisters enough. The laughs, the tears, the fiestiness. I’m so gland you share with me! Mary, thanks for empowering all of us with the knowledge and confidence we need to reach out to each other.
PS I’m a take charge kinda gal and am happy to begin starting our book of secrets, the officer election process, etc. as well as public relations.
“If you don’t feel well in the normal range, then you must have a mental health issue, because it’s not your thyroid!†Hahahaha;what jokesters they are!
Perfect. Been there many times. Made the mistake of crying when I heard it, then they “knew” I was crazy…(sigh)
I say over and over again, we need to put all these docs on tapazole for 6 months. It would do them good to know how it feels to live with thyroid disease.
Great job Mary! I just loved that and your sense of humor shines through once again with brilliance! I suppose we must laugh or we would go absolutely crazy…It seemed as though you thoroughly enjoyed writing that letter-I too enjoyed writing mine. It is an unusual experience but feels somewhat cathartic to tell our thyroids exactly how we feel…
Take care Mary!
what i hate about belonging to krappa krappa glanda is the hazing ceremony.
Nice letter Mary, but seriously, I wish I wouldn’t be part of this Thyroidority. I wish I could just leave the sorority, but I guess once we are in it, we are in it for life, right?
I used to be unable to move for full days, my whole body numb, headaches, thought I wouldn’t wake up (make it) to the morning, had to stop going to the movies because of nerve problems (my fav. activity), etc. Yet, I was told I was just a minor case of hypo.
I really don’t want to know what it feels like to be really really hypo!
Anyways, thanks again for this letter. I always feel so alone with this sickness even though we are millions having it.
O dear thyroid, I am so honered to have been choosen to join the Thyroidority Krappa Krappa Glanda How comforting it is to know that I am not the only person that has been told thing like I have, “well Mrs. B if you were not so lazy you would not be so fat,” This from the same wonderful Endo who was so kind to call me to let me know the biopsy she took was maliginant. Thinking it must be me I decided to try someone new, HA! all you girls that have been around can guess what is coming, the new guy decided I have a type A personality and there for going to be difficult, Ha, I did not even have a chance to give him some off my type a, because the next words out of my mouth was that I was getting older and my body was slowing down, and so I should accept the fact that things are going to start going down hill. I was so stunned I just sat there in a chair thinking, is this true? washed up at 36, No Dear thyroid we are not giving up yet
This is GREAT and very creative! Love to all my fellow thyroidority members…hugs! 🙂
Oh. My. Word. I don’t know that I’ve laughed this hard in a long time!
These comments are hysterical!
LOVED the letter!
LOVE YOU GUYS!
Hello Thyroidority Sisters!
“please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste….”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk
Room for one more in the Krappa Krappa Glanda?
This is so typical of me: it takes me forever to find you, but I always get there in the end, and when I do it is always worth the effort….
How’s that for a metaphor sisters!?!?
Love it Mary! And I love the White Stripes!
Am I in?
Robert(and Bob too)
http://dearthyroid.org/why-hes-hes-hes-hypoman/