Goiticon And The Half Blood Princess
This is Goiticon your sinister sidekick.
I am writing to warn you of difficult days ahead. Forces are aligning to discover our dark plot to destroy The Hostess. She is emerging from her training at Fogwarts Academy of Bitchcraft and Gizzardry. She appears angry and determined to “figure this out… Her increasing knowledge base threatens our powers.
You’ve been masterful for two decades. The calm diagnosis of Hashimoto’s Disease accompanied by a tiny little pill, lulled The Hostess. The gradual addition of one pound here, five pounds there, were the picture of insidiousness. I, Goiticon, and our other dark ally Glucose Prime, particularly enjoyed the way you necrotized day and night.
Thyroid, you helped us re-emerge as an even larger Goiticon after The Hostess barbarically drained us of fluids. You pushed on in the face of Synthroid 100 and now laugh in the face of, Levothroid 125.
But The Hostess is gaining knowledge. She’s begun to suspect that we derive some of our power from white foods. We feed off them and she’s conspiring to cut us off! Her energy levels are up and her weight is down. This is in opposition to all we stand for.
Further, she’s begun to align herself with other forces. Their combined knowledge is working to bring light to the shadows in which we thrive!
But Thyroid, we know you will not surrender. We cheered your victory just Wednesday as The Hostess ate three chocolate chip muffins.
So once unwitting, The Hostess, is now educated, aggressive, and teaming up with others like her. But fear not, The Hostess just turned 40. Soon, very soon, we’ll activate Menopause Prime to join the fight!
(Bio) Rebecca Regnier is an award winning television journalist. She’s writes a humor column and a diet humor blog. Read more about her and visit her blog here…
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, letters written by thyroid patients, Rebecca Regnier, support for thyroid patients, thyroid autoimmune support, thyroid community, thyroid literary healing, thyroid literary support, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid support