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From Thallroom Dancer To New Thatitude
Dear Thyroid,
I wanted to write a scathing letter to you. By all rights, I should. But, instead, this is a thank you letter. Yeah, I told you everyone thought I was crazy!
Thank you for letting me the weight gain, over 100 pounds in less than a year, thereby taking my job as a ballroom dance competitor/teacher away from me. That job was no good for me. I had to deal with working over 12 hours a day, 5 – 7 days a week. Now, since I can’t hold down a permanent job due to several doctors’ appointments, always getting sick, etc. I am now able to lose a job every six months to a year and collect unemployment in between. I needed the rest.
Thank you for taking away my beautiful, slender body, my gorgeous head of naturally red hair, and the flawless skin, I had. It made me a better person by causing me to quit commenting on how other people look. It also made me very humble. I thought I was “IT”. I always treated others like I was better than them. I didn’t realize I was doing it. But now, since my looks have gone, I am no longer the “hottest babe on the planet” (in my mind), and I care about people more.
Thank you for taking away my looks right in the nick of time. You took them away just as I met the man who would be my husband. You see, I was already engaged to someone else when my looks went. Had I still had my looks, I would have married my ex-fiancé and probably ended up divorced because he would have cheated on me. Shorty after that, I met a wonderful man who sees beyond my weight gain and we have become friends. Over the course of 8 years, we have become closer. We have now been married for two wonderful and trying years. Had I, been “hot”, I probably would have never given my husband a second look. He really wasn’t my type. He was too shy and preferred to stay in, as opposed to going to the hottest clubs. Now that I am too embarrassed to go out in public, I love to stay at home.
Thank you for the ten doctors I went to that told me that I was just fat and getting old. Because of them, my husband is now a fighter and has learned to stick up for himself and for me. Prior to this, he was on the shy side and never wanted to make waves. I found out that I married a TIGER, especially when it comes to putting ignorant doctors in their place. You see, I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. When I went to the doctors, my thyroid was normal. It would act up in between blood tests. It took 10-years and ten doctors to catch it.
Thank you for all the missed diagnoses. My new doctor, Dr. Murray Gordon, who figured all of this out, wrote a letter to all of my other doctors and knocked them off of their high horses. Now, maybe this will make them better doctors who will listen to their patients more.
Thank you for taking away my sex drive. You see, my husband lost his sex drive due to medication. Now our sex drive is perfectly compatible. How many couples in their 40’s can say that?
Thank you for what you did to me. I met two wonderful people last summer at the dog park. They have become our best friends. She had her thyroid removed due to cancer. She is also shy, which makes it a little hard for her to find friends. We started comparing stories and now use each other as a support system. My husband and her husband help each other to deal with us. If I wouldn’t have married my husband, I would never have had the cutest Great Dane in the world, Astro, and would never have met our best friends Janet and Joe and their two dogs, Chance.
So there you have it. There are so many other reasons to thank you, Thyroid. I just can’t remember all of them.
In love, and gratitude,
Jackie Kipilo
(Bio) “Hi. My name is Jackie, and I am 40 years old. My life ended as I knew it, the Spring I turned 30. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Doctors insisted I was crazy. I almost believed them. Thank you, Dear Thyroid for your site. I hope this letter I write will finally allow me to accept my condition…
*Image courtesy of one of our Dear Thyfellas, Mike Wilson.
Tags: Dear Thyroid Community, Dear Thyroid Letters, Dear Thyroid Patient Letters, epistolary series, letters to thyroid glands, letters to thyroidectomized selves, letters to thyroids, thyroid blog, thyroid disease, Thyroid disease support, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid support
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25 Responses to “From Thallroom Dancer To New Thatitude”
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Jackie, What a beautiful letter. I sit here with tears streaming down my face. Know that you are beautiful & I am SO GLAD you wrote this letter.
<3,
Heather
Wow, — that is a brutally brave & honest letter. Well written! – It really brings the message home.
Thanks for sharing. {hugs}
HD in Oregon
WOW, Jackie. What an amazing story of pain being hugged by a great attitude. You reminded me to find the reasons why I’m happy and healthy rather than complain and worry about things I can’t control. Thank you!
[…] From Thallroom Dancer To New Thatitude […]
Wonderful letter, Jackie. When you wrote “It made me a better person by causing me to quit commenting on how other people look. It also made me very humble” I can totally relate. I never had to watch my weight, and I remember thinking, “what’s wrong with that person that she has ‘allowed’ herself to get overweight.” I had little sympathy for people who were infirm, or tired, or struggling, health-wise. And senior citizens. Fuhgettaboutit!
But with my thyroid condition came newfound compassion and empathy I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Seriously. I think if I didn’t have a thyroid problem, I’d could have remained clueless and unsympathetic about how hard it is for people to feel and live well, or how hard it is for the elderly, infirm, etc.
When I got the first inkling that I might have thyroid cancer, I though – eh – I’m 27 and if I go belly up right now I would have had a good life. No regrets. Well, maybe only one…. it would suck to die w/out ever having owned a dog.
Fast forward – yes, I got a thyroid cancer diagnosis, yes, I also got a dog. Moses. He is a rescue dog, currently 14 years old. We live with no regrets.
Best,
Kairol
blog – http://everythingchangesbook.com/
Jackie, Thank YOU for sharing your pain in a positive light. If your life didn’t take you on this new path, we never would have met the wonderful person you are. We will walk your path with you, and please join us as we travel on our own journeys. Holding hands and walking together, makes traversing even the most difficult, rocky, stumbly path a lot easier.
i LOVE this gorgeous letter:)
i often think that as much as i hate my disease, i am grateful for the new insights it has given me.
(m:)
Jackie thanks so much for a letter talking about all the positive aspects of adversity and growth. It was really an enjoyable read.
Wierd how the thyroid/immune system dysfunction knows a blood test is coming and then behaves itself till the test is over, isn’t it? Like a disturbed child.
Thank you to all who have responded to my letters and even to those who read them, yet didn’t respond for one reason or another.
I love you all, even though I never met any of you.
Peace and love with a lot of healthy days to all of you.
Love, Jackie
Hiya, i commented above whilst logged in
Manda = little weirdy:) i’ve just started blogging.
I think that although thyroid disease is extremely selfish and mostly takes things away from me, it has also given me a new way of thinking and for that i’m grateful. I care less about ‘stuff’ these days, care more about people and relationships and now have a keen sense that life is short, life as you know it could change any minute so enjoy every minute that you’re in. I plan for the future, but tend not to dwell on it or give it too much of my energy. I rant and rage at my thyroid, at times i hate it and curse it and i moan and gnash my teeth about being sick! But i also take pleasure in little things, truly enjoy the good days and let myself experience joy at any given opportunity because i know all to well these feelings could be taken from me again. (m:)
THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing this magnificent letter. Brought tears to my eyes. I love knowing this site is here and feel blessed to be encouraged by such wonderful and inspiring people.
Bek x
Hi:) Ditto DT, i’m all for finding balance.
I don’t want to be a moaning-groaning-do-nothing kinda gal, that’s why i am so OUTRAGED at my disease when the bad days are seeming to go on and on. I know i am a positive thinking, fun, motivated, energetic, caring person and i feel so ripped off when that is all taken away from me and i wind up feeling bitter and angry, waiting for the next bout of ‘good health’ to show up so i can feel like me again. I do a lot of what i call ‘rage-writing’ or ‘brain vomit’ 🙂 Workin’ on a DT letter, but finding it surprisingly difficult to let those emotions out. Very inspired by all those who’ve written letters and let us all in to their innermost thoughts.
m.