DEAR THYROID^TM

B: Hair falling out again. Clumps. What am I, an angora???

B: My little friend, my aunt, my monthly treat; I didn’t get it for years, thanks to Depo Provera shots, because it was bad when I had it. I went off of that off of everything. And now, that the evil thing is starting up again. It has been 3-weeks of bliss. 3 WEEKS? Shouldn’t I be dead by now?!

Regina Cintron: Thanks, thyroid, for making me need a daily nap like a 2-year-old!

Amber Grundman: Thanks for leaving yet MORE cells in my neck after the neck dissection. Now I have to wait ANOTHER six months to find out if they too, will need to be removed. At least you could have made the stragglers big enough to biopsy. Geesh.

Annie Rz: Thanks to you, Mr. Thyroid, I struggle with the day-to-day mood swings/jitters/feelin’ FAT.   Constipation: it’s almost like being in love. LOL

Katie Lynch: Dear Thyroid, we were having such a great few weeks. My TSH was only 5 points off, the pounds were being shed, and my mood was bright, heck, I, even stayed up ‘til the middle of the night having fun a couple of times. I guess you didn’t like that. Today, I’m swollen, stretched, achy and sad. Today, you keep scratching my throat when it doesn’t,  have an itch. You made me want to slap innocent coworkers, and I know you want us to take a nap, but I have work to do tonight. Seriously thyroid, can you just tell me what I did to ruin the good thing we had going? Do you think maybe we can make up by next week? Life is busy, ya know?

Manda Richardson: Dear Thyroid, thanks for making me prone to anemia. Iron deficiency is almost as much fun as hypothyroidism, with the added bonus of shitting black bricks on a semi-regular basis.

Madison Merritt:, Dear Thyroid, You have tricked me again; played this lame prank on me so I would sleep away my day!! Thanks so much, because without you, I wouldn’t have to read the ingredients label on every box of what I eat (which by the way, any normal teenager doesn’t do). And so, my dear thyroid, I can’t wait to banish you forever! It will happen I tell you, you eventually won’t cause me to go thyazy and you will be removed, or you will die trying to fight my very overactive immune system, which I am also angry with. Don’t think you are off the hook just yet. You are the reason thyroid has been acting out, and I blame you, you and your confused self, you must be stupid to not realize that you are attacking yourself. I feel sorry for you, so, so sorry. In any case, go to biology and learn what you are supposed to be doing.   That is, protecting me from disease instead of causing it.  Goodbye,  Madison P.S. I hate you. A lot. In a thymental/monumental kind of way. I’m just sayin’.

Heather Shervey Kephart:, Dear Thyroid, Thanks for the 80+ pounds I gained when pregnant with my son. How can I ever return the favor???

Twitter:

@Yodat: I am catlike: I can walk into a room, immediately forget why I was there and then curl up and take a nap instead.

@othergretchen: Thyroid, that better not be you who made me too sick to get tested until now! Now, I won’t get numbers until after my appointment.

@getsquirrel: What’s with all the hair loss?? It’s out of control this week. Could you at least make the gray ones fall out instead of the brown ones?

Site/Email:

Liz Schau: I would like to find a doctor who knows anything about you, more than what they learned about you on one page in some textbook twenty-seven years ago. Thanks to you, thyroid, I am a medical mystery that no one has the time or energy to solve. If you can’t get something together and start training an arsenal of people to treat the 23-50 million Americans with autoimmune diseases such as ours, I might just have to take drastic measures (as if I weren’t already). ,  Find someone who speaks your language already.   The translation issues are getting a little ridiculous at this point.

AUGUST DEADLINES AND GIVEAWAYS ON DEAR THYROID

August’s Flickr Pool: HOPE in photographs as it pertains to your disease. Take a peak and submit your photos, as many as you wish. Only three more weeks for this month’s theme, so get those submissions in.

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