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Gland We Thynd A Way To Work Together?

Post Published: 11 August 2009
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 23 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid;

You have brought so much sadness into my life.   First, you appeared out of nowhere with your hyperactivity and swift shift to hypoactivity.   No one wanted to name you as a disease, and I was left wondering what had happened.   Then, you decided to show your hypo ways after my son was born.   But, as quickly as you appeared, you disappeared and I was again left to think that you weren’t much of a threat.

Instead, for four years, I was agonized by the depression you brought.   How could I be my enthusiastic self while also feeling so very low on other days?  You made me doubt myself and my ability to just get over it…   Then in November 2008, you decided to show yourself in my blood test results again.   Thankfully, those very low feelings have never returned.   However, you find other ways to bring me sadness. You refused to show yourself in the standard antibodies that would give me a diagnosis.   You’re wrecking havoc with my eyes and you are a source of blame for any doctor who can’t figure out what is wrong with me.  If these other problems are your fault, why?   Why do this to my body?

Thyroid, I want to live. I want to live with joy and happiness.  You do your best to take any signs of happiness away from me.  You’ve robbed me of many hopes and dreams.   At this point, I can’t see an end to your antagonism.  Please prove me wrong.

Sincerely,
Lisa

(Bio):,   Lisa is a patient who loves a lot of people, animals, and things.   If you wish to learn more about her, you can visit her blog, Queen of Optimism.

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23 Responses to “Gland We Thynd A Way To Work Together?”

  1. Sara says:

    Aw, girl, I can sooo relate. After I had my second son, less than a year ago, my thyroid went haywire. First hyper, then hypo. I thought I was nuts. I thought I was just in a ‘funk’ and I felt like a horrible mom for not being able to get over it. The first endocrinologist I saw told me I didn’t need treatment or to even come back until a year later. Way to make me feel even more defective. He placated me with condescension when I told him of my irritability and short fuse, “Just try not to take it out on your husband.” He also advised me to stop looking for a health issue when I was a new mom as that was why I was feeling all our of sorts. Grrrrr!!!! With some encouragement from my loved ones I took charge and it’s a good thing because in a week my TSH jumped from 1 to 30. Keep persisting. I know it’s so hard but YOU are worth it. You are your best advocate and don’t give up until you are feeling better.
    I don’t know if you have a good endocrinologist or not but do not hesitate to fire the bad ones who just don’t listen.
    It’s just not fair, this thyroid stuff. But there WILL be a day you feel better. I promise. Every now and then I have a good day and I get a glimpse of the old me. It’s a wonderful feeling and it does give me hope.

  2. carmel says:

    hang in there! your thyroid sucks but YOU sure don’t!!!

  3. Anne Liang says:

    Don’t give up hope!!!!! After six months of depression and feeling helpless, my TSH is back down and I’m feeling better than ever! My energy is back and I’m making the most of it because I don’t know when I’m going to go hypo again… I completely lost myself for a while there, I had no idea if I’d ever feel good again. You will get your life back, have faith and good things will come your way.

  4. Selina says:

    Hi Lisa,

    Thank you for your poignant & honest letter. Those of us who have gone un-diagnosed honor those willing to share their stories.

    It wasn’t until I saw a Naturopath that I was able to find relief and peace of mind.

    Love and best wishes,

    Selina

  5. Kathy says:

    I’m only a little over a year into the journey of winding, crossed and bumpy roads called thyroid disease. From the way my body feels, I have journeying down this road for a long, long time. It’s only when we can name our antagonist that we can have power over it. You and many have named it and its name is thyroid disease. Thank you so much for sharing your words that give us hope because we know that we are not alone.Now, you and we have the control and the power to show this enemy who’s boss, even if only for a minute at a time. Celebrate every little joy, every tiny piece of happiness. If you can’t see it in the moment, look back at the day, and maybe, just maybe you will recall that one instance in the day made you smile. And, that my friend, is power and control over that thyroidic enemy. Just by writing, you have shown the strength that you have. One smile and joyous feeling is another notch on your belt; you are winning the battle!

  6. Lisa says:

    Dear Katie and Liz,

    Please accept my true gratitude. My experiences with Dear Thyroid – Writing my letter, connecting with my thycohorts, and reading the words of others who really get where I’m at have had such a tremendously positive impact on my life and I am forever grateful for the humor, intellect, sweat, and tears you put into this site. Nobody does it like you.

    With love,
    Lisa

  7. Robyn says:

    Lisa,
    I have just started down this road, although my thyroid has been on it for a long time (in retrospect). I had been told by my OB/Gyn that all my hair changes were from my previous pregnancy and that the erratic, heavy periods were from being “perimenopausal”. I was told by my Internist that my high cholesterol was genetic since I am a vegetarian. I was told by everyone that I was tired because I raise my 3yo daughter alone when my husband is deployed. And I was told that the lump in my throat was “all in my head” by the ENT. If I had not had a dear friend whose husband is an excellent endocrinologist I would STILL not have a diagnosis. He diagnosed me over the phone based on my symptoms and neck ultrasound results, and the lab work I had later supported his suspicion.

    I’ve just begun Synthroid, and see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I still have lots of bad days, but I have some days that remind me of the person I used to be–wow I missed her!

    Keep up the good fight. If I have learned anything from this early journey, it’s that patients have to be strong advocates for themselves. My endo says with many endocrine diseases, it is truly only the “squeaky wheels” who get the treatment!

    Good luck to all!
    Robyn

  8. Robyn says:

    Thanks for asking, I’m doing well. I’ve been taking my little pill for about 5 weeks now–big adjustment has been even MORE insomnia than before, but also my energy and motivation have noticeably increased (!).

    Had I not been diagnosed, I think I could have lived with the exhaustion, skin/hair, etc. a long time. I’m anxious to see how treatment affects my cholesterol, which is obviously important for my long term cardiovascular health. For me, the nagging choking feeling I had was driving me literally crazy. It was all I could think about–it felt like I had someone’s hand on my throat 24 hours a day, slowly squeezing the breath (and life) out of me. It caused ridiculous anxiety–I assumed it was tonsils or something allergy related at first when it started and wasn’t so strong a feeling. When it began to consume me I sought an ENT. While he turned out to be a complete ASS, he did say initially he felt my thyroid was enlarged. He later reneged on that diagnosis, and stated a neck U/S (and later CT) were normal (funny, the radiologist BOTH TIMES commented on my heterogeneous thyroid) and wished me luck with my symptoms! As I stated above, my friend’s husband talked me off the ledge, and was sure that my thyroid (which was at the very highest end of normal for size, and heterogeneous–a la swiss cheese) *was* likely the culprit–he immediately (from a state away) referred me for the appropriate blood work. His suspicion of Hashimoto’s was right on–while my T4 and T3 are normal at this time, my TSH is high, and I have antibodies. He found me a endo in my home city and started me on synthroid while I waited to get in to their clinic.

    Like many newly diagnosed, I was sort of excited. Wow! I’ll take this pill and it will magically be better. But lots of research and time have already dimmed that optimism. My compressive symptoms have lessened dramatically, but I still have bad days where I feel so claustrophobic about my neck. Of course, being early on, we have no idea what sort of dose I will need either.

    I will say that I am so happy to have found this group. Since my husband in Afghanistan, I have felt really alone in this. Those without a chronic disease can sympathize, but not empathize.

    And I feel I will have many a letter addressed to my thyroid in the coming months and years!

    Thanks so much, and good luck to Lisa, Katie, Liz, and all those in my new family!

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