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Thyck You, Thyroid!
Dear Joyce’s Thyroid,
Let’s just get this out of the way. Screw you. You have screwed me in ways that I never thought possible. I am now going to doctor number 5 trying to get you straightened out. I’m trying to help you here!! Stop fighting against me!!,
I will never forget how fat you made me because I have my brother’s wedding pictures to remind me of that. Then I start exercising and actually manage to lose some weight and inches and begin to feel pretty good about myself again. My husband can’t keep his hands off me. All right! Things might be turning around. Except now, my vagina is broken. Sex? Who wants that? Who has the energy for that? I feel like I could live the rest of my life without it, and my husband is pissed. What kind of marriage is that?
I feel like I am in a fog most days. I can’t remember shit. My husband doesn’t get it. All he sees is that all I want to do is sleep. I have a better relationship with my couch than with my husband!, I have turned into a major bitch-bitchiness was there before, but now it’s worse. It’s worse mainly because I can’t function because I am so damn tired!!, And depressed. That’s just the best. I am now I am on medication for that. Just can’t get enough, can you?
My blood pressure is up, my cholesterol is up, and I feel like shit. Thank you for the hospital bill, the bill for the sleep apnea machine, and the uncomfortableness of sleeping with headgear and a mask. That worked for a while, and then you decided to screw up my sleep cycle. Now I can’t sleep. When I want to sleep, it is at the most inappropriate times-at work, during a meeting, driving home. Thanks, I owe it all to you. That panic I felt when I nearly drove off the road because I dozed off-that’s a feeling no drug can give you.
Plus, I have you to thank for all the money I spent at Weight Watchers trying to lose weight. Boy that was money well spent. A year of WW and I lost a whole 10 pounds. A year of stressing out about what I ate, counting those damn points, and then switching to their Core program, and I still gained weight. I joined a new gym too. Then I gained 6 pounds in a week-then the gym manager told me it was what I put in my mouth. “Weight loss is simply calories in, calories out. You are eating too much. You aren’t doing enough cardio… Thanks for that humiliation. Nothing is better than having someone look at you like you are lying when you are telling the truth. I can starve myself, cut back to 1400 calories a day, and still gain weight. How is that physically possible?? Gaining 25 pounds in the past couple of months despite exercising 3 times a day, for an hour a day is mind boggling. So, in another effort to help you, I added in yoga 2 days a week.
I do everything I’m supposed to do, and you still screw me. In my last effort to help you I quit taking birth control pills. That hasn’t worked either-I have gained more weight. And the acne — I have worse acne now than when I was a teenager!!
I feel like you have made me a medical mystery. Now I find out from doctor #4 (that my husband found in his effort to help his basket case wife) that doctor #3 is overmedicating me, so he is sending me to doctor #5, an endocrinologist, who I have been waiting to see for almost 2 months.
I want to get better, I really do, but you keep taking all hope away from me. One day I WILL get the better of you.
Quietly waiting to take my revenge and it will be sweet,
Joyce
(Bi0) My name is Joyce Corley. I am 32 years old. I have been dealing with this thyroid stuff for about 5 years now, and my family has been suffering with me. On day I will find the doctor who will help me. I am on doctor #5 now.
Tags: Dear Thyroid, Dear Thyroid Community, Dear Thyroid Letters, epistolary series, hypothyroid disease support, letters to thyroid glands, letters to thyroidectomized selves, letters to thyroids, thyroid blog, thyroid disease, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid support
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29 Responses to “Thyck You, Thyroid!”
Leave a Reply to Joyce
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YOU’RE SINGING TO THE CHOIR, SISTER!!!! I’ve actually had medical pros tell me (jokingly I think) that I should just stop eating. Boy , isn’t that a funny joke. And I loved giving my charitable contribution to WW–went for 4 wks, pd. the $ and lost zero pounds—I’m sure you know the “looks” I got when I swore up and down that I followed their plan to a T—-they just didn’t kow I was dealing w/ hypoT
It’s like I wrote this myself! If we all have the same problems and complaints despite being on thyroid meds, why can’t the medical world figure out a solution to our problems!!!!?????
I would love to comment on your post – but I am too busy eating bon bons and watching reruns on TV. What??!!! 😉
You letter hits home Joyce. Thanks for writting it – it gave me hope! And while not losing weight sucks – In the words of Red Green “we’re all in this together”. 🙂
wow, this sounds a lot like me. i went diagnosed for about 5 or 6 yrs. it took several doctors and a long time to get in the right meds. by the time i got diagnosed i had gained so much weight and by the time i had gotten the right meds i added 40 more lbs to the 1st 60. :-/ seeing an endo w kaiser was almost impossible, and i had to ask to be put on cytomel (my life saver). hope everything works out w the endo. hang in there! 🙂
Keep at it, Joyce! And thanks for your letter. It’d be interesting if we all kept a count of how much our thyroid has cost us–no, I take it back, we’re probably better off not knowing.
It WILL get better.
Thanks for the comments everyone. Since I wrote my letter I have been back to the endo and he was a jerk. Apparently weight has nothing to do with thyroid-did you know that? My 2 options from him to lose weight were to go on a diet or have gastric bypass. WTF??? So now am I going back to the dr who sent me to this guy and he is going to treat me. He told me to never go back to that endo. So in the meantime I have seen a Naturopathic dr, and I’m feeling a little bit better. Thyroid is still screwed up, but I’ve got to get my meds adjusted and hopefully I will be better. Thanks everyone!
You brought tears to my eyes. I have gained 30 lbs in about 4 months. I exercise eat right and got in the waiting line for an ENDOCRAPOLOGIST. The closest appointment for the “greatest doctor” in town was about 4 months. ARE YOU KIDDING!!!?!? 4 MONTHS!!! 4 MORE MONTHS OF THIS LIVING HELL!? Feeling fat and out of breath and exhausted and HOT all THE TIME!! My husband sympathizes with yours. Im 23 and only been married ALMOST 2 years. And i only want sex about once a month. I do it for him. But if i had it my way it would be less than it is.
believe me.. i know your pain. I love you and i dont know you. You are my best friend you are me you have a shoulder if you need it. Keep your chin up and when it bothers you just flick your thyroid with your finger as pay back.
Joyce, I could have written your letter 98% word for word. The only thing I don’t have is the sleep gear, although I probably need it. But, would never be able to use it, as I almost never sleep…at night that is..I could wear it during the day, maybe. I am thinking .. there MUST be a doctor out there who HAS a thyroid problem. Wouldn’t they be supportive? Imagine all of us lined up waiting to see that person. Talk about job security for them…the line of appointments would go on for miles!
I was thinking also about starting a support group for thyroid issue sufferers. We wouldn’t weigh in, because we would never lose weight, we would have to have notes already made up because we would all sleep through the meeting, and not remember a damned thing. We wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning up after a snack, because we wouldn’t bring anything to eat..well, maybe we could pass around a basket of organic blueberries.
All laughing and joking aside, Joyce.. hang in there, thysistah..we are all there with you, and we will figure out this crap together. Thanks for sharing. It validates me right where I am to know that I am not alone in how I feel.
And that my friend, is great medicine!
Ay-men. I was at 1000 calories a day, walking the dog several times daily (and we walk as quickly as I can, which can be a good clip sometimes!), and still gained 2 pounds in one month.
It’s so frustrating, because I’m young, too. At least in years. Most of the time, I feel like I’m on my deathbed.
BTW, Kathy, you are hilarious! 🙂
I agree. One of the many reasons I’ve been on disability for a year & a half & counting. I wish you all had the same option.