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Thycancereally?! I Thought We Were Glanding Along

Post Published: 07 September 2009
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 12 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

I’m not even sure where you are these days.   Part of you is possibly still on a slide at the Mayo Clinic.   Oh, that sounds kinda important doesn’t it?,   But that’s when we knew our relationship was going to end.   When part of you went there, I got the pathology report that would change our lives.   It was sort of a “Dear John” letter from you, my little Thyroid wasn’t it?   It said:

Female, 29 years old presents with Stage III papillary/follicular carcinoma with orphan Annie nuclei.   “Orphan Annie nuclei.”   That sounds so cute and innocent doesn’t it?  Ha!

I miss you.   We had a great relationship once, didn’t we?   I let you live in my neck rent-free.   I nourished you.   I protected you.   In return you provided me with a metabolism.   It was a nice metabolism once too, wasn’t it?,   I had energy. I didn’t need naps. For awhile there, I even managed to weigh under 200 pounds.   I thought I looked pretty hot.

But then you weren’t happy and you started dividing your cells all goofy-like.   And then you decided to try and kill me.   Not cool, Thyroid!,   You were even tricky about it.   You fooled my doctor during the fine needle biopsy. ,  And trust me, there is nothing fine about having a 6 inch needle in your damn neck. This, of course led to me having not one, but 2 surgeries to cut you out of my life.

You couldn’t even let go of me easily.   You had to wrap yourself around 2 of my parathyroid glands before you were ready to come out.   You must have thought that you could stop my calcium production, you sneaky Thyroid.   You did manage to give me a good amount of muscle cramps because of that, but I got over it.   By the way, calcium replacement comes in chocolate chews!,   You know how I love chocolate. I will have you know that I have cracked plenty a joke at your expense, Thyroid while I have been treated, scanned, poked and prodded. So, I guess we both got our last little jabs in.

Without you, I don’t feel so hot.   My radiation nurses told me I was “Hot” but they meant “Radioactive” and quite honestly that’s probably the last time I heard “Hot” and “Megan” in the same sentence. Now I have some fancy (and expensive) replacement thyroid hormones.   It’s not the same though.   I would rather have you.   It was good with us once.

Love your former landlord,

Megan

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12 Responses to “Thycancereally?! I Thought We Were Glanding Along”

  1. Deb says:

    Here’s a big giant healing hug for you Megan!You’ve been through a lot and I hope your recovery is comfortable and swift.You deserve it!,keep well,Deb

  2. Juliana says:

    Great blog my dear!! You are a cancer fighting princess!

  3. Kathy says:

    To be such a fighter, having gone through so much..and keep your sense of humor.. You are someone to look up to. Thanks for sharing. You are surrounded by support from all your Thysistahs and Thyfellas here. Keep fighting. You are on the winning side, now.

  4. Sandy says:

    Great letter Megan! Thank you for sharing it.
    You’ve provided humor and inspiration especially for those of us just starting down this path.
    ((Megan))

    Pez Dispenser, formally known as Sandy

  5. bee says:

    OH,Megan-damn, girl!!! A braver gal I may never have met…keep up the good (and badass_ fight)…remember, it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings…and I haven’t even gotten to the chorus

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