Who Is Thysponsible?
I used to blame everything on you: how tired I am, my hair falling out, no energy to clean my house or participate in my own life. I liked to blame my moodiness and depression and irritability on you, too. Now, granted, you ARE to blame for most of my troubles, but after reading a great post called “Who’s Gonna Take The Weight by Martin Bosworth, I realized that I was to blame, too.
You know I am a big girl. We both know I have been heavy since I got pregnant with my son, who will be 14 in October. I get plenty of exercise, but I just can’t get a handle on my eating, whether through poor choices or portion sizes. After reading Martin’s post, I took a look at myself and had an epiphany. I let you, my lack of a Thyroid, con me into thinking that it didn’t matter what I ate, because I wasn’t going to lose weight anyway. So I ate big meals with desserts after, thinking that my exercise would hold me steady. You and I know that we’ve tried diets before that haven’t worked. So I gave up and resigned myself to thinking that with your help, I would always be the fat girl. Besides, it was always easier to blame you for my problems than actually take control myself. Hell, I was too tired to do that anyway.
Well, Thyroid, I’ve got some news for you. I got my blood tests back yesterday, and guess what? You are controlled. The TSH is regulated down to nearly nothing, which is what I’ve been asking my reluctant doctor to do for years. But, anemia and a sneaky vitamin D deficiency have caused me to be exhausted. And all this time I was blaming my fatigue on you!, Instead of looking at my own deficiencies, I’ve been happily blaming you for what’s wrong with me. Now that I’m looking at myself, realizing the poor choices I make about what goes into my body, I can let go of what I’ve been holding onto all of this time: my weight. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
(Bio) I am a married 37-year-old mom of 3 from Eastern Washington. At the age of 16, my entire cancerous thyroid gland was removed. For years, the only advice I was given from doctors was to just take Synthroid every day. Being continually exhausted after the birth of my youngest son led me to educate myself on my condition. I have been through so many endocrinologists that I could start my own clinic. I finally just settled for bullying my ARNP into listening to me and doing what I want. Switching to Levoxyl helped, and taking some herbal supplements and vitamins helped more. Regular exercise became a part of my life, and the only thing left is my diet. Thank you to Dear Thyroid for their endless encouragement, information and a place to vent where they know exactly what you’re venting about.