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Who Is Thysponsible?
Dear Thyroid,
I used to blame everything on you: how tired I am, my hair falling out, no energy to clean my house or participate in my own life. I liked to blame my moodiness and depression and irritability on you, too. Now, granted, you ARE to blame for most of my troubles, but after reading a great post called “Who’s Gonna Take The Weight by Martin Bosworth, I realized that I was to blame, too.
You know I am a big girl. We both know I have been heavy since I got pregnant with my son, who will be 14 in October. I get plenty of exercise, but I just can’t get a handle on my eating, whether through poor choices or portion sizes. After reading Martin’s post, I took a look at myself and had an epiphany. I let you, my lack of a Thyroid, con me into thinking that it didn’t matter what I ate, because I wasn’t going to lose weight anyway. So I ate big meals with desserts after, thinking that my exercise would hold me steady. You and I know that we’ve tried diets before that haven’t worked. So I gave up and resigned myself to thinking that with your help, I would always be the fat girl. Besides, it was always easier to blame you for my problems than actually take control myself. Hell, I was too tired to do that anyway.
Well, Thyroid, I’ve got some news for you. I got my blood tests back yesterday, and guess what? You are controlled. The TSH is regulated down to nearly nothing, which is what I’ve been asking my reluctant doctor to do for years. But, anemia and a sneaky vitamin D deficiency have caused me to be exhausted. And all this time I was blaming my fatigue on you!, Instead of looking at my own deficiencies, I’ve been happily blaming you for what’s wrong with me. Now that I’m looking at myself, realizing the poor choices I make about what goes into my body, I can let go of what I’ve been holding onto all of this time: my weight. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
Misti K.
(Bio) I am a married 37-year-old mom of 3 from Eastern Washington. At the age of 16, my entire cancerous thyroid gland was removed. For years, the only advice I was given from doctors was to just take Synthroid every day. Being continually exhausted after the birth of my youngest son led me to educate myself on my condition. I have been through so many endocrinologists that I could start my own clinic. I finally just settled for bullying my ARNP into listening to me and doing what I want. Switching to Levoxyl helped, and taking some herbal supplements and vitamins helped more. Regular exercise became a part of my life, and the only thing left is my diet. Thank you to Dear Thyroid for their endless encouragement, information and a place to vent where they know exactly what you’re venting about.
Tags: affects of thyroid disorders, hyperthyroidism support, hypothyroidism support, thyroid literary support, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid symptoms
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14 Responses to “Who Is Thysponsible?”
Leave a Reply to yodat/Jody
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Misti–Good for you! I am sure that your thyroid issues had added to a lack of motivation–it’s difficult to start anew (whether diet, exercise, etc.) when you don’t have any internal drive. Your letter sounds like you have your MOJO back! I am sure it will still be hard, and don’t beat yourself up when you backslide, but with a combination of good attitude and good (better?) health–both of which it sounds like you have finally achieved–you will make it happen. And you have us to turn to if you need words of encouragement or a kick in the ass!
Hey, Misti—so so true—but like Robyn said, the internal drive is the key; and i sure am lacking in that area momentarily. I hsd it when i was young and tried every fad diet that came along. I lost weight. i maintained weight loss by constantly monitoring my portions. But i’m also wondering if being so strick when i was younger didn’t play a part in my thyroid probs now? I certainly am not very motivated to stay on an 1100 cal/day diet. and that seems to be what works. You’ll find your groove…you’ve narrowed down the cause. Good Wishes.
Robyn;
Such a perfect response. I agree wholeheartedly.
I loved Misti’s letter, it was so inspiring and insightful. The concept of taking responsibility while contending with a thyroid issue is not so easy to do. She did it! I know that I absolutely feel inspired to examine my habits to see where I can implement change.
Love,
Me
Bee;
Excellent response and such valid points.
Regarding our former selves “behavior” as a contributing factor, it’s something I’ve wondered about.
For example, in my family Graves’ disease is genetic and skips a generation (yay). I have a cousin with Graves, too.
I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO relate to the motivation issue. Sometimes it’s really tough to get and stay motivated. I think it’s all a process and as long as we’re kind to ourselves and recognize whatever changes we implement will take a minute, I think we’ll be okay.
Love,
Me
I gained 8 pounds since last July when I had my thyroid removed. I’m telling myself my system is so slow from being hypo that most of that is bloating. I can tell by my dimpled arms that’s bullshit though.
I’m working out now, for the first time in years. I understand that’s not necessarily a recipe for quick weight loss (muscle adds weight, and strengthens appetite), but I am learning to “embrace hunger,” as Oprah’s doc tells her (ugh!). It isn’t going to kill me. Now that my levels are on track, at least I know a drop in sugar isn’t going to make me pass out. Thanks for bringing this up, Misti. Sometimes, SOMETIMES, we CAN be just a little bit tougher. And Bee! Keep strong girl! I can’t imagine that 1100 calories is getting you the nutrition you need. Better to be healthy with some padding than skinny and deficient.
Misti,
You have so eloquently put into words what I have been trying to tell my brain for weeks and weeks! Thank you for the eye opening letter and passing on your wonderful MOJO as Robyn put it. I am inspired by your letter – I initially made a decision not to go to the gym tomorrow – but dang it. I am putting on my running shoes and hitting the gym!
Misti,
You are so right in what you wrote to your thyroid it isn’t always it’s fault although I do think it plays a big part.
I must make a concious effort to exercise more, when I’m actually concious.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
If you are going to try cross-country running, start with a small country. Russia was a killer never again.
Lolly,
You crack me up!
Great letter! I use to be the same way. eat whatever I want and dessert, too. A walk here and there. Why can’t I loose weight! Now, I know diet has a lot to do with, well, a lot of things. So, no grains and sugars for me and the weight is coming off! I am joining an exercise class this week. Maybe part of this is our thyroid’s fault but we have the power to make positive and healthy changes!
Misti great letter. I liked the post by Martin Bosworth also but I have to take exception to something he said. Conventional medicine wasn’t so bad. My GP told me for years to lose weight, consider my stress levels and lifestyle and all that. I just didn’t listen. I think sometimes they get tired of telling us these things. Besides I didn’t need him to tell me, I knew anyway.
But anyway what I really liked was the approach that I too have learned I need to take. I have thyroid problems AND I also have other problems. An eating disorder and some attendant attitudes towards exercise that sometimes tend to flirt with exercise bulemia. So I take my synthroid, go to the gym in what I hope are reasonable amounts, write down EVERYTHING I eat, and accept that, in a world where many are starving to death, needing to find a way not to eat too much is a luxury problem, but still potentially fatal.
Great letter.
Zari
Great letter Misti! I also just found out the same vitamin deficiencies were a part of my motivation problem. After switching to Armour and lots of vitamins, I feel like a whole new person. My weight loss has been s l o w, but even one pound is enough to make me hopeful. Please keep us updated on your progress!
Yodat/Jody
I can lend you some superglue.
I really must get back to exercising, I walk the dog twice a day for 20 minutes i walk everywhere yet I don;t lose weight I watch what I eat watch my calorie intake, yet still I don’t lose weight. I think my metabolism is up the creek without a paddle. and I’m sinking, so throw me a life jacket hang about I don;t think I will need one cus my thyboobs will keep me afloat.
I haven’t ever read about this before. Where did you happen to find all this information if you do not mind me asking?
I can’t believe I hadn’t seen my comments before! Thank you all for your kind words about my letter and for your support. You guys are great. It’s nice to talk about this with people who understand.
Carol: I would ask for a blood test next time you see your doctor that includes Iron and Vitamin D testing. My friend works as a medical assistant and her doctor routinely tests his female patients for Vitamin D deficiency and over 90% of the tests come back low on Vitamin D. I take mine every night and feel sooooo much better. And just research, research, research. The best weapon we have is knowledge about our disease.