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Why Thank You Doctor For Not Listening, I LOVE Not Being Heard

Post Published: 08 January 2010
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 24 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Dr “you’re borderline, don’t worry

Sherree’s thyroid here.   You and I are long overdue for a sit-down. I have a few things to say to you – it ain’t pretty and I’m not apologizing.

Dude, I’m tired, sick and tired actually.   I’m not borderline, I’m sick.   I either put out too much or too little hormone and I can’t regulate it any longer. Actually, I haven’t been able to regulate it for many years now.   Sherree has been telling you this for years, and you’re not listening.   The one thing she has continually complained about over the years and you don’t listen.   You send her to the best rheumatologist in the area, the best foot doctor in the area, you give her great care on everything — but you have dug in your heels on this.

LISTEN UP ASSHOLE, SHE KNOWS HER BODY WELL, YOU DON’T, I’M SICK AND I CAN’T GO ON LIKE THIS.

Do I have your attention yet?

Sherree has been telling you for years that there is something wrong with her thyroid.   She has explained that her mother has a wonky thyroid as does one of her sisters, she has multiple auto-immune diseases (which, as her primary doctor you are well aware of), and she suffers(ed) from severe gynecological problems.

She has been telling you of her wonky sleep patterns.   She is always tired.   She can’t think, she can’t talk and she’s depressed.   She’s 54, not 94 for pete’s sake.

She has the driest skin & hair you’ve ever seen.   Her nails break just by looking at them.   Just curious, but do you consider a seven pound weight gain in one week “normal?”   I guess if she was stuffing her face and all, perhaps.   You know her diet; you know she takes care of herself.   Every time I don’t have enough hormones to give, her weight goes up. You don’t listen.   It fucking takes her along time to get rid of it, all the while she’s fighting with me to not gain more.   Nice, eh? Body temperature fluctuations, thinning hair, thirsty all the time (no, she’s not a diabetic), and severe chronic constipation, is not  borderline, nor is it normal… Let’s not even talk about zip for a libido and being a cranky bitch.   You know it takes a lot for her to get cold because she’s always hot right now, she’s flippin’ freezing.

These are signals that I’ve been sending that need addressing I am sick.   WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING?

By the way, it isn’t fucking menopause either so don’t even go there.  ,   We’ve been having this discussion for well over 15 years. Besides, she just started menopause this year and I have to give her props — she is doing quite well with it.   Actually, she could use a good hot flash about now — it would warm her up.

The past two times you have physically checked her thyroid, you have commented, hmmm borderline Hashimoto’s…,   What, you don’t think she ran home the first time and looked up what Hashimoto’s actually is on the internet?,   HELLO.   Why mention it and not do something about it.   You have repeatedly commented that her levels are on the low end of normal, borderline is the word you continually use.   Need I keep reminding you that her blood tests (of which you are aware), that she submits to for her rheumatologist come back normal as well SED rates, CRP, etc,   — all normal, even when she’s in her worst flares and can’t walk.   Yet, her rheumatologist is aware of that and treats the problem.   He uses the blood tests as information, that’s all.

JUST HOW FAR OUT OF NORMAL WILL SATISFY YOU?  I’M SICK, SHE’S SICK, YOU’RE THE DOCTOR, SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY.   WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?   WHAT OTHER SYMPTOM DO YOU NEED TO SEE?

Oh, and while I’m here, let me speak on behalf of another gland, her adrenals.   Seems you found a tumor on one of her adrenal glands when you were looking for something else.   Again it was “nothing to worry about.   Dude, when you find something that you weren’t looking for and it regulates hormones, don’t you think a second opinion might be warranted?  Granted, it might be fine, but I definitely think a look-see is in order.   We’re all interconnected remember?

What will it take for you to take her seriously?  Why is this an issue for you? This is one of the most common issues a woman has.   She is not borderline, she is ill.   I’m tired, she’s tired and we need to be fixed.

So how about it, care to send us to someone who will look at the big picture and once and for all get us fixed?

The one thing she has continually complained about over the years and you don’t listen. SHAME ON YOU.

Sheree

Have you had issues with your doctor not listening? Are you borderline and deemed not yet treatable? Can you relate to what Sheree’s going through? Share your thoughts with us and let Sheree know!

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24 Responses to “Why Thank You Doctor For Not Listening, I LOVE Not Being Heard”

  1. Robyn says:

    Sheree,
    I would write this up from you, and send it to your doctor. I would also ask for a second opinion. If (s)he won’t give you a referral, try your rheumatologist for one. If you ain’t happy, take your business elsewhere. Keep fighting the good fight!

  2. Dear Thyroid says:

    Robyn;

    That is FABULOUS advice! As difficult and frustrating as it is to fight the good fight, we have a responsibility to ourselves as patients to fight it.

    Love what you wrote!

  3. Jackie Kipilo says:

    Terrific letter. You are not alone. It took them 10 years and 12 doctors to actually listen to me, but I didn’t know where to begin to look. Hang in there.

  4. Dear Thyroid says:

    WOW, Jackie. 10 years and 12 doctors. Did you see my jaw hit the floor? It hit hard.

    Sadly though, I relate to what you’re saying. I’m just sooo happy that you got the diagnosis.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with Sheree. Great advice, thysistah – Hang in!

    xo

  5. Annacai Autoimmune says:

    What a wonderful letter. The PCP that I had for 10 years never heard me say that I was really tired until I broke down and cried in his office on December 29, 2009. That’s when he ordered the vitamin D test which indicated that where 50-80 is the optimal range, I have a 4. I have a new physician. I think he actually listened to me. He at least ordered all the tests necessary to make an adequate diagnosis. I know how hard it is to leave the one that you have trained to handle eveything else when he is blowing one thing. But go see another physician about this right away, please. You deserve to be well.
    Annacai who like you is autoimmune

  6. LizSchau says:

    Wow, Annacai, that is a great story!! Finally you got him to listen to you! May I ask why you ended up switching doctors? Does your new doc listen to you more? Seems like he probably does. No one ever tested my vitamin D without me asking for a full panel of all that stuff. Crazy that TSH is king.

  7. Dear Thyroid says:

    Annacai;

    You have been through hell. I’m glad you had the breakdown that you did, otherwise they might have found the Vitamin D deficiency. How are you managing that now, by the way? Has your VitD come up?

    Your points are absolutely fabulous! I agree. Sheree deserves a physician who will listen to her. Another great point is how some of us, myself included, become so acclimated to sub par care, that we just take it.

    Thanks for chiming in! Great stuff, kid.

    xo

  8. Dear Thyroid says:

    Liz;

    We just said the same thing. Har. I am so curious about the VitD test, too. Annacai, would love to hear from you.

    Liz – So sorry that you had to ask, probably beg? for a typical test that thyroid patients need.

    xo

  9. Sheepmama says:

    I’ve seen many many doctors since high school and gotten: you’re tired cuz you’re in sports, then you’re tired cuz you’re in college, then you’re tired cuz you’re a mom. Ya know I look at my peers and they have never been this tired. I watch other moms chasing thier kids at the park while I sit on the bench. I have finally found a doc willing to run a slew of tests; I am awaiting results.

  10. Dear Thyroid says:

    I hope the results provide you with a diagnosis that speaks to your symptoms, so that you can get the treatment you need that is so grossly long overdue.

    I am very proud of you for forging on and fighting for a diagnosis.

    Bravo, Sheepmama!

    xo

  11. Angel says:

    that sounds so like me…I got Another Dr.and another,went thru 5!!!! I gave one visit with blood work,you don’t do anything,I find someone who will!!! Talk to friends about there Dr’s if they listen and so on! Don’t give up! Its your Body!!! I even bring copies of last blood work with me.I found an Internal Medical Dr.! He is doing good so far,he is the one who put me on meds when the others wouldn’t cause I was within “normal range”! I told him that wasn’t normal for me! A friend recommended him to me!!! He has upped my meds 4 times now and I am truly feeling more like my old self,even my sore muscles and bones don’t hurt anymore,I have even started exercising and have lost 8 lbs so far!!! I took a year,to get me here,so don’t give up!!!! You are so worth it!!!!
    Great Letter!
    Angel

  12. Dear Thyroid says:

    Angel;

    What an incredible story. You’ve been through far too much, like so many thyroid patients. I’m thrilled that you shared your insight and inspiring yarn.

    I love that you found a doctor willing to work in partnership with you, that’s the goal!

    If you ever feel like sharing your doctor with us, that would be great. We now have a section called “Patient recommended Doctors” http://dearthyroid.org/resources/patients-doctors/

    CONGRATULATIONS! Thank you so much for sharing.

    xo

  13. Kathy says:

    I could have written this letter myself! After my endo from hell appointment, I had post traumatic stress disorder..seriously! I had decided that I was never ever going to the doctor’s again. I had an emergency that took me to the doctor’s a few weeks ago, followed by yet another emergency that got me an appointment with the same doctor. He has decided to take on my quest to explore my thyroid issues..I’m still pinching myself.
    It is so hard to find the right doctor.. why?????????????
    Keep up the fight and thanks for sharing it all with us, here.

  14. Erica says:

    My journey is a new one, but I am already starting to hate my Dr. I just went in for all my screens a few months ago and my levels are borderline (so say’s him) and I have severe B12 and D deficencies 🙁 He keeps trying to convince me that since I’m a single mom, I’m just depressed. He then asked me if I ever saw the sun and if I ate meat to which I answered yes and often to both. My Grandmother is Hypo, my mother is hypo. See a trend here? I do! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I think everything started in 2003, and I think it caused the end of a six year relationship that I still to this day have no idea how it started to fall apart. I just got my 2nd B12 shot today and I go for follow up next month. If I can’t talk some sense into him then I think it’s time to get a referral.

  15. Dear Thyroid says:

    Kathy;

    I understand swearing off doctors, I think so many thyroid patients feel that way. You are not alone, my love. I am so sorry that you had an emergency that led you to the same friggin doctor. UNBELIEVABLE.

    If you need/want a patient doctor referral, in the forums, patients are writing about it! I would add your beautiful self to the list.

    http://bit.ly/8tmifQ

    Thanks for sharing more of you, my dear.

    xo

  16. Dear Thyroid says:

    Erica;

    I am so sorry. I think we were discussing this on FB, if I’m not mistaken. I’m prone to Thymentia, so forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn.

    It is absolutely time for a new doctor, no doubt about it. You deserve to treated well and TREATED, period.

    here are a few links that might help.
    Dear Thyroid Forums, Doctors from the patient perspective http://bit.ly/8tmifQ (please add yourself to the list)

    Patient Recommended doctors http://dearthyroid.org/resources/patients-doctors/

    Mary Shomon’s top doc’s list http://www.thyroid-info.com/topdrs/

    Keep us posted and let us know WHEN you find a good one.

    Hang in, my sweet, you’ll get there.

    xo

  17. amy says:

    This letter makes me mad! Sheree, as well as everybody else deserves, needs, has you the right to be listened to! Just because it is borderline doesn’t mean that there isn’t a problem! Your body was telling there was. Sheree, I do so hope that you get a second opinion and feel well. Wishing you the best!

  18. katie says:

    Amy;

    I couldn’t agree with you more! Beautifully said. Sheree’s letter made me mad, too. The doctor’s mistreatment of her was so horrific. Like you, I hope she keeps fighting for 2nd, 3rd, 4th, however many opinions it takes.

    xo

  19. Eyece says:

    Sheree,

    Run, do not walk, to a new doctor. Talk to you rheumatologist and get a referral to a new doc. If you’re in an HMO and stuck with what you have, yell and scream to higher if you must, but find a new doctor.

    I’d been telling my docs for the last 2 years that I still don’t feel good and, hey, don’t you think that the estrogen bombs and the thyroid problems might be related. No, no, poo, poo, not possible.

    Took myself to another doc who said, “have they ever run this test? what about this one? none of them?!?!” and ran a battery – my vitamin D was in the tank like yours, my iron was low, my testosterone was higher than it should be. The magic thyroid numbers were fine. So he said “Take a lot of D, call me in a month to let me know how you’re doing, and we’ll adjust from there”.

    If a doctor won’t listen, he doesn’t deserve you as a patient. If a doctor thinks his magic numbers are more important than your symptoms, he needs his head examined.

    I wish you all the best wishes, and the strength you need to get the help your thyroid is screaming for.

  20. Bee says:

    why do i sometimes feel like i’m in the Twilight Zone (old spooky TV show for you youngens’) when i read these letters? WE give our docs the benefit of the doubt that THEY will eventually do their job and figure us out and you know what ? sometimes they don’t. i’ve wasted many hours waiting for a doc to figure it out until i finally realized it just wasn’t gonna happen…i’m not as patient anymore so don’t give any of them too long to F up…then i get my happy feet to the next doc’s doorstep-frustrating but you learn how to gloss over the hype and get right to the problem with the new one you hope to beak in

  21. katie says:

    Eyecee;

    Thank you so much for sharing this awesome comment! You’re right, run to a new doctor.

    xo

  22. katie says:

    Bee;

    That’s such a great point. We as patients have to keep fighting for excellent care. The onus rests with us to try and find doctors who will listen and work in partnership with us, not against us. Though it feels like an uphill battle, it’s our lives, so it’s a fight worth engaging in.

    xo

  23. Lolly says:

    Sheree,

    Fucking great letter now just take that along to your crap doc and tell him this is how it is, it wouldn’t hurt for you to be on a small dose of replacement.
    Don’t ask for a second Opinion insist on one for the Adrenal’s it’s your right your paying so tell them what you want.

    Good Luck and hope that now you have written this great letter spelling it all out you can now go on to say the same things with your docs.

  24. Sherree says:

    Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support. This was a tough letter to write (it still burns me up to read it), but it’s scary that this seems to be more the norm than not.

    I am working on getting a referral to a specialist (I can self refer, thank heavens). Just have to talk to a few people in my medical group to find the “right one.”

    You gals are awesome.

    Sherree

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