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In Sickness and In Health: But Mostly Sickness

Post Published: 02 February 2010
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 21 responses. Leave a comment

Written by Mrs. Graves (Graves disease Patient)


Dear Thyroid,


When we met I had never heard of you before. I didn’t like your name, “Graves’ ” from the get go.   But, there are many strange names now days. You made me tremble and anxious right away.   I did not even realize it was you making my heart beat so fast. Before I knew it you had moved into my home and completely took over my life.   You had me going in circles.   I did not know if I was coming or going. One minute I felt good and the next I was mad at the world.   You isolated me from my family and friends. I didn’t want them around and because of you, they did not want to be around me any more. You disrupted my life and even my sleep, every chance you got.Somethings you did to me made me run to the toilet more often than I want to remember.


It was not enough that you played with my emotions. You made me cry, you made me mad and you stopped me from even driving my car. You stopped me from going out in the sunshine. You even made me pay dearly for enjoying bright lights or a simple breeze. Because of you I had to wear sunglass’s day and night. You made me so ugly, I could not even look at myself in the mirror. You hate to see me at a normal weight. You like for me to be skinny or fat.


Did i tell you how you make my skin crawl? And I hate what you have done to my hair, what little you left me.   You are a Royal pain in the ass and everywhere else. You get me so stressed out I think I am going crazy. Even though I zapped you with radiation, your presents lingers in my home. I just can’t get rid of you. I can get support and learn how to live with you.   I can learn to make this unhealthy relationship work better for me. I can make myself feel better, while you sit,   in the corner while I go about my life. Nobody wants you , who can blame them. But, once you move in, it is impossible to make you leave. You are sure not any fun. You can depress a saint.


I did not ask you here or ask you to stay, but here we are together for the rest of our lives. In sickness and in health, from this day forward with no divorce in sight. I can’t stand you , but you are all mine.


Call me MRS. Graves’

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21 Responses to “In Sickness and In Health: But Mostly Sickness”

  1. HD in Oregon says:

    Dear Elaine,

    Wonderful letter! Hang in there, we’re with you, we know very well how you feel. {{{{ hugs }}}}

    @HDinOregon
    ThyCan+ survivor
    http://www.hd-una.com/hd-cancer.html

  2. HD inOregon says:

    Dear Mrs. Graves & Hello Elaine too,

    Wonderful letter! Hang in there, we’re with you, we know very well how it feels. I find writing about it therapeutic.

    All the Best to you,
    HDinOregon
    ThyCan+ survivor

  3. Elaine says:

    I write about this old guy all the time. It is very therapeutic. I go from mello to frustration to mad to just feeling better about myself.

  4. Sandra says:

    Thank you so much for putting into words what I feel everyday.

  5. Dear Thyroid says:

    HD;

    You are so wonderful and supportive, what a fabulous comment!

    ThyCan + Survivor = Forever.

    xo

  6. Dear Thyroid says:

    Elaine and HD Agreed – writing is very therapeutic…

    as is exorcising all of those emotions out of you and onto paper well, e-paper.

    Beautiful letter

    xo

  7. Dear Thyroid says:

    Sandra;

    So sorry that you feel this way every day! How do you cope? How do you find your way through it? What tips have you used to deal with your disease?

    I wish you didn’t have to endure this.

    We’re all here for you!

  8. Elaine says:

    Sandra,
    I am glad I can be your voice. We are all in this family together. Together we can be strong. I write to Mr. Graves’ and the rest of his sorry family all the time.

    And yes we are all here for you.

    Hugs

  9. Felita says:

    What a great letter! You were singing my life with your words. This marriage is purely a marriage of convenience – Mr. Grave’s convenience.

  10. Shan McKenzie says:

    I’m failing to find words that will explain how your experience is a shared one. Its more of a scream of wild tortured emotional pain and grief. Love you and all of you for being supportive.

  11. Elaine says:

    Mr. Graves’ and his whole family are a bunch of free loaders. You are right Felita, Mr. Graves’ conveniece.

  12. amy says:

    What a wonderfully written letter! I a Hashi girl myself but I really liked your letter. Esp. the comment “you can depress a saint.” True. and “I can’t stand you, but you are all mine.” Also true. We can hate but at the end of the day we still have to live our thyroids(or, I guess, lack of). Thanks for sharing!

  13. Melissa says:

    You’re not alone!
    When did you have the RAI?
    Fortunately, I began to feel better 6-8 months after, when I began to become Hypo.
    Hang in there! I use double polarized wrap around sunglasses by Mauie Jim. They are great!
    The good thing about MJ is they have a great warranty if a lens gets cracked etc.. vs. Ray Ban where they are polarized only on one-side & no warranty, i think.
    hang in there!

  14. Elaine says:

    Actually this really bad part of my life was awhile back. I had RAI in 2004, decompression for TED in 2005 and 7 more eye surgeries since. I am actually doing much better now. Still get some bad days. That is when I write. My goal the last few years is not not only get my life back , but help others get theirs. I still wear Good sunglasses, but not 24-7 any more.
    I hope you all are on the road to feeling better too.

  15. Melissa says:

    Hi Elaine, I went to see an ocular plastics specialist for the 1st time. am new to TED? I dont know how I would afford a first surgery, much less more than that since I have to pay 20% of everything, on a small income. You probably have so much info, if u dont mind I would like to k.i.t. How long did it take to recuperate from each? I had better look into a better medical plan because I dont see a way to get around TED. Thanks 🙂

  16. Jody/yodat says:

    What a great letter. A marriage is right – too bad you can’t kick it to the curb!

  17. Elaine says:

    Melissa, I would be glad to give you what ever info I can.
    I actually made a video of my journey with TED. you can email me at tdcoffeebreak.gmail.com
    I hope I can help

  18. Melissa says:

    Thank you!

  19. Cindy says:

    WOW, thank you so much for writing this, it sounds similar and familiar for what I have gone through too, regarding my thyroid disease, THANK YOU!!!!

  20. cla4sam says:

    I love iti coldnt have said it better my self.I have seen Elaines dvd it has really helped me you are a star Elaine love ya Claire gdxxxxxxx

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