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My Pretty, Bleeding Thorn
Written by T – Hypothyroid, Patient
Dear Thyroid,
Because of you I spend my day looking and researching for ways to make myself feel better. I first gave notice to you when I was in my 30’s, and now 20 years later you still haunt me. I recognized that you were not being a friend to me when I could hardly get out of bed in the mornings and all I really wanted to do was sleep the day away. But I had to hold down a full time job as a home health nurse and the bills had to be paid. I discovered you after researching what could be making me feel so bad.
Not being one that just ran to the doctor for everything, I tried to fix me, but nothing was working so I finally dragged myself to see a doctor. I told him that I was sure that I had a problem with you, hypothyroidism. My hair was falling out. I was too tired to get out of bed. I had no appetite, but was very much overweight. Obese to say the least.
The doctor took some blood and tested your function. My TSH was a whopping 76! No wonder I felt awful! He began me on Synthroid in which I did begin to feel so much better.
But because of you not behaving as you should in my body, I will battle being overweight for the rest of my life. I will battle being in the proper ranges of T3, T4 and TSH for the rest of my life. I will constantly be fighting symptoms and trying to figure out “why”. I will always be looking for solutions to fix the many everlasting problems you cause.
You are always trying to get the best of me and think there are some doctors that like it that way. That is why they prescribe synthroid to those who do not respond to it, as is my case. After being on Synthroid for several years and changing doctors for various reasons, I requested to be able to try Armour Thyroid. And it made a world of difference. I must have started not being able to convert T4 to T3 (or is it the other way around?). Whichever it is, you, my dear thyroid are a constant reminder that you cause turmoil.
It was the middle of last year that I had to change doctors once again, because mine was leaving town. And I chose one that did not believe in Armour Thyroid. I’m sure it is a “money” thing. He didn’t give a hoot that I would not feel better on it, and oh, by the way, my dosage was needing to be changed. For some odd reason my TSH had been within range for a long time, but it began to be very low—almost nonexistent at something like .003. I was having awful symptoms. I was losing hair like crazy, wanting to sleep all the time, heart palpitations, tired, no appetite. The only one that wasn’t an obvious hypothyroid symptom was my heart feeling funny. I only have that when you’re overactive. But no luck losing weight, either.
So I finally started going to another doctor who had no problem putting me on Armour. I was so depressed, my hair kept falling out, and I suffered from muscle cramps with the smallest movement. I had no appetite but I was putting on more pounds. I knew that my levels were still not right. But since being changed to Armour, I am feeling much better and less depressed. And by the way, my new doctor did confirm that some doctors along with the pharmaceutical companies pushed synthroid because of not having control of the”natural” thyroid. In other words they don’t make money on it, the bottom line.
I know I will always be at battle with you. You are the thorn in my side. But I will not go down without a fight. I am on constant watch for new procedures that will defeat your fight to put me out of balance. Oh my dear thyroid, look out! I’m on a mission to put you back in your place and have you to be behaving once again.
Signed,
T
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How long have you dealt with your thyroid problems, diagnosed and undiagnosed? Did you know there was something wrong long before you went to the doctor, but couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was? What proactive measures do you take to fight back? Let “T” and all of us in the thyamily know in comments!
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, hypothyroid, hypothyroid blog, hypothyroid letters from patients, hypothyroid support, hypothyroidism, hypothyroidism disease, thyroid literary support
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10 Responses to “My Pretty, Bleeding Thorn”
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Dear T,
I, ´m so sorry you have to go through all of this. It must be so frustrating to keep changing doctors and not feel treated the right way. Like you I often had the feeling that some doctors really just do care about the money and that they get “bribed” by the pharma industry to prescribe certain meds.
Keep up the fight,even if it might be hard sometimes. Giving up isn, ´t an option.
Christina;
I think you’ve made an excellent point, many patients go through endo’s faster than they change outfits because we feel mistreated or like they’re on the take so to speak; and not truly in it to heal us.
Very sorry to hear that you’ve been through as much hell as T has.
Keep fighting is right!
xo
T,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. You’ve been through too much. Keep fighting!
T, I like how you say that you are not going down w/o a fight! Exactly how I feel! Some days are so hard but we can always try again tomorrow!
Thank you for your letter. I hope that things get situated with you and feel better!
T,
getting doctors to understand it a difficult thing. It sounds as though you found the right doctor. My TSH was nowhere near what yours was I can only imagine. I hope your experience from here is a much happier and healthier one.
Joanna;
Agreed! She’s been through too much. Her fighting spirit is so inspiring.
xo
Amy;
I love what you wrote, especially, “some days are so hard but we can always try again tomorrow.”
When we’re in the epicenter of thyhell, it’s very difficult to remember that, so thank you for reminding us that tomorrow is a new day.
xo
HypoG;
I think one of the most difficult aspects of thyroid diseases is getting doctors to understand what we’re feeling.
I’ve also noticed that once you reach the coveted balanced thyroid, some doctors eagerly pawn you off on another specialist, though the issues are glaringly thyroid. I wonder why that is.
Any thoughts?
Sage words, ma’dear.
xo
T,
I think you must really be a fighter. I admire your ability to hold down a full time job and still try to fix yourself when you were feeling so rotten! Keep up the good work and I’m glad you finally found a doctor to help you.
Dearthyroid,
I have had that exact thing happen in terms of doctors. Once they get you optimized you are out the door. It is not a fun feeling. Why? I think it is because they haven’t done their research on the disease. I know that’s a terrible thing to say. But that is how I feel. I think Doctors aren’t aware that Thyroid Disease is a slippery slope. It can turn on you in a instant. Also, maybe it’s too much for them to manage? Maybe they can’t handle the hand holding this diesease needs – BECAUSE it can turn on you in an instant?
I think more doctors that specialize in treating Hypothyroidism is what we may need as patients. Someone who understands and will take the time to make sure we are at our best in terms of health. Is that too much to ask? Maybe, maybe not. Are we able to storm the castle as a group and make it so? ABSOLUTLEY!
Just my opinion.