Thyloneliness: Hollow Echo of a Solitary Struggle
What can I say? You stayed dormant most of my life, then when I reached the “menopausal age” you started up. I assumed that I was pre-menopausal, so I disregarded the symptoms. I would be a caring loving person one minute, and the next I would go off on family, friends, and co-workers. I was gaining weight and slowly losing my hair. When I would talk to people, I would hear “Oh I have the same thing… So I never once thought it was my thyroid”until one day this HUGE lump was sticking out of my neck. When I would sleep at night, I would have trouble breathing and would have to switch sides to fall back to sleep. By the time I knew what happened, I was in the doctor’s office getting a biopsy. Within two weeks, I was in and out of the hospital and diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I didn’t have time for it to sink in. A doctor sent me to the hospital for an iodine pill that’s supposed to take care of any leftover cancer. So here I am trying to deal with what just happened to me, and I have to stay away from everyone for five days. Five fucking days to be locked in my room with nothing but time to think about what is happening to me. Thanks a lot! You can only imagine what your mind can do when you are alone for five days…
I have been given ZERO information. Don’t know how this happened;they have no answers. They don’t even know what I am supposed to do to make sure nothing like this happens again NOTHING!!! Am I supposed to change the way I eat? Who knows?, Am I supposed to exercise? Who knows? You have cancer, take a pill and just move on with your life. Oh, and get used to this scar you have going across your neck try not to look at it. The whole thing is FUCKING BULLSHIT. My tumor was 4.3cm, which I am being told was pretty frickin’ big. I had to sign this sheet stating all of things that could happen to me during the surgery. It’s been a little over four months now, and from time to time I wake up with a sore throat that goes away about an hour after I wake up. I have weird feelings in my neck that I can’t explain and I am terrified to ask. I don’t know if I could handle being told that they were wrong and that the cancer spread to my throat. Who is there to talk to? Who’s there to say, “hey everything you’re feeling is normal; Everything that’s happening to you is normal? NO ONE.
I cry alone. I deal alone. Everyone thinks I’ve just moved on, but they’re wrong. I put on a great face;but inside I’m a basket case.
Tags: breathing thyroid issues, Dear Thyroid Letters, lumps on thyroids, menopause thyroid issues, perimenopausal thyroid issues, thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer blog, thyroid cancer menopause, thyroid cancer patient letters, thyroid cancer support, thyroid hair loss, thyroid mood swings, thyroid patient symptoms letters