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After All Is Said and Done, I Remain: Undefined by You

Post Published: 26 February 2010
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Category: Uncategorized
This post currently has 15 responses. Leave a comment

Written by Anon (Hashimoto’s patient)

Dear Thyroid,

We are swiftly approaching our 50th birthday, and you have been causing trouble with increasing symptoms that make it appear as if you are having a temper tantrum. Seven years ago, after the doctor biopsied the five nodules in you, it really wasn’t a surprise to either of us to find out the diagnosis was Hashimoto’s. My mother and sister had both been diagnosed already, they both were taking Synthroid, Mom’s thyroid was surgically removed, and I had been complaining of fatigue for years.

Now, Dear Thyroid, as we approach the mid-century mark I want you to know that I refuse to be defined or labeled by this disease. You can have your mid-life crisis if you want to. There is so much more to me than a “disease” and I refuse to be labeled like that. I would rather be known as a great Mom, my 21 yr old son wants to take skydiving lessons this summer and has asked me to go with him. I said, yes! I refuse to wait to see if I will feel well enough. There are other things that define me more than this disease, wife, friend, daughter, employee, boss, creator of fun stepping stones.

Your symptoms have led me to try to educate myself and explore some alternative treatments outside the medical community that I work in, and I worry sometimes that it could affect my job. I don’t like the fact that you could exert so much influence in my life and in the life of my family. I also miss my sister and resent the part this disease (and diabetes) played in her early death.

So, Dear Thyroid, you may have all the tantrums you desire. I figure that my kids are now all in their 20’s and the odds are good that someday at least 1 of them will give us a grandchild. So until then, I’ll use your tantrums as training for the grandkids!

Anonthp

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15 Responses to “After All Is Said and Done, I Remain: Undefined by You”

  1. Nancy Cornaglia says:

    Just want to wish you well and thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have yet to get a diagnosis but have been suffering and frustrated with all of the symptoms and lack of understanding by doctors I’ve seen so far. Have an appointment with a doctor I found on Mary’s site in 2 weeks and hope to get on track to some answers and help to feel better. In the mean time, thank you for being an inspiration to define myself as someone other than that “victim” of all of the pain and symptoms I believe are coming from my thyroid. I too am a wife, Mom, Grammy, Friend and funny loving person:) You will be in my thoughts. Nancy

  2. Joanna says:

    Great letter! Good for you for not letting your disease define you! We are so much more than a diagnosis. I hope you find that your alternative treatments start to help control your symptoms!

    xoxo,
    Joanna

  3. Joanna says:

    Nancy, I truly hope this new doctor can figure out the root of all your symptoms so you can begin healing.

    xoxo,
    Joanna

  4. Hypogirl says:

    What a great letter! I am with you on the tantrums – use em to your advantage! I admire you for going skydiving. I would not be able to do it myself. Not because of my Hasimoto’s – just plain too scared. 🙂

    Never thought to use Hashimoto’s as training material. Good idea!

  5. Anonthp says:

    Nancy,

    Thank you so much for the kind words. I went many years without a diagnosis also. I kept telling my doctor that I thought it was my thyroid and they would check my TSH, but it always came back normal, so nothing ever got done. It wasn’t until the OB-GYN palpated the nodules during my yearly exam that anything happened for me.

    Good for you for pursuing a diagnosis.

  6. Bee says:

    way to go–i do try to live by this attitude but sometimes i just have to give in to the thyroid turmoil just to get thru it

  7. Anonthp says:

    Joanna,
    Joanna,

    Thank you for the nice comments. I have been learning as much as I can. DT has been a great place for me to learn and connect with others. Because I work in a hospital and see the doctors regularly in a professional way, I am not able to completely give up conventional health care. At this point I have been supplementing with non-traditional things. I find this works for me for other things as well. (I suspect I’m somewhat of a rebel at heart).

  8. Anonthp says:

    Hypogirl,

    LOVE your podcasts! Way to go! You inspire all of us! Actually the skydiving is not as hard for me as seeing this letter in print.

  9. Anonthp says:

    Bee,

    I can (and have) thyranted with all of you! Some days are harder than others.

  10. Lolly says:

    Good for you Anonthp great letter and an inspiration to all of us.
    I’ve never let this disease take over my life it hasn’t stopped me doing the things I want to do although I may be slower or my muscles not up to it. I won’t give into it NEVER EVER.

    May I ask what alternatives are you taking or have you tried? I too am a rebel WITH a cause and fight for what I believe is my right. I too tried an alternative medication for my GO (TED ) with great effect.

    Check out my thyrant this week ( if it is up) I don’t do many but this one just came from the heart and mouth travelled down to my fingers which took over. I have an excuse I am hyper right now but that never stopped me either.

    I wish you well enjoy life don’t let this disease consume you and stop you doing the things you want to do just listen to your body it will tell you when you need to ease off or take some rest but never let it stop you for achieving your goals.

  11. Hypogirl says:

    Anonthp,
    thanks for listening! I hope your skydiving adventure is good! Let us know how you did.

  12. Anonthp says:

    Lolly,

    You are just awesome! I’m a little hyper myself right now.

    In answer to your supplements question, I have tried many things. In fact, I try almost anything that I don’t think will harm me. I have discussed NDT with my physician in the past and got the same answer as most people, so in an effort to show him how serious I am about how I feel, I loaded a bag with the things I had tried. (Very nice man, but he thought I was depressed). The bag included vitamins, herbs, Ayurvedic medicine, etc. I’m always curious about things and my husband thinks that I’m a little whacky, but if it says something about the thyroid or energy I like to try it.

    You are wonderful Lolly – just keep being yourself. I look forward to reading your thyrant this week and every week. I love how you said it “came from the heart and mouth, travelled down to my fingers which took over.” That is how I wrote my letter. I had all these things in my brain that just had to get out – the letter kind of wrote itself.

  13. Lolly says:

    Katie,

    I have a question for you your gonna think this is strange but I love the picture but I was slightly drawn to the dress blowing up and swear that she has male genitals. Do I need to get my eyes tested? :-)or is it wishful thinking? 😉

    Anon,

    TY for your lovely words amnd open letter I can see it came fromt he heart I do hope you enjoy the experience of sky diving your braver than me ass I d=just don’t like heights, I feel better in water or on terriferma.

    My ambition was to swim with dolphins and I achieved that just a few months before I ahd thyroid surgery and what an excperience I wasn;t feeling great but it made it all the more pleasurable I wouldn;t have missed it for the world no matter how bad i felt.

    Go for it and I hope you’re able to gwet some pictures and share your experimnce with us.

  14. Lolly says:

    Anon,

    Pleases excuse all my typo’s it was early hours of the morning and it must have been the shock or complete surprise of seeing that skirt blow up.

    What ever you do be sure to wear trousers/pants when skydiving.I hear it gets pretty airy up there and you don’t want to be giving the birds a full eye view I am sure.

    Katie I hope you know I am kidding, well not really sure though about the picture, take looksie I was killing myself laughing as I know this might be something you’d do. At least it gave me a good belly laugh.

    Love
    Lollyxoxo

  15. I absolutely loved this letter and I’m so proud of AnonTHP for writing it – Thank you for sharing more of you with us.

    xo

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