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My Sexy Little Beast of a Burden
Dear Thyroid,
I’d love to know where you being hyper ends, and the actual stress begins. Where the overmedication ends and the legitimate weight gain begins (or conversely, where the undermedication ends and the legitimate weight loss begins). Where the eye symptoms you bring along end, and the strain due to too many hours at a computer end begins…and so on, and so on.
Your influence over just about everything a 30-year old gal wants to keep in check (weight, energy, fertility, hair, stress and anger levels) really drives me nuts some days. And I know I don’t have it that bad. Blood tests tell me you’re only a little off-kilter. My doctors are all interested in getting me healthy and happy, and in working with me to determine the best course of treatment. My husband and parents are understanding that until you’re back in line, our plans to start a family are on hold and I’m bound to be “irrational” now and then.
In the whole realm of bad thyroids, I’ve got it good.
So should I thank you for that?, Because I don’t really feel like it. I’d love to stop second-guessing myself, my thoughts and my body. I’d like to go back to not having to wonder if I’m stressed, or tired, or angry, or if it’s you coming through. Hopefully, someday soon, you’ll let me.
Lori
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Bio: I’m a computer engineer thankful for the internet and the information it provides. I’m 30 years old with a loving husband and a wonderful puppy. My hyperthyroid/Graves’ Disease was diagnosed in November 2008, and I’m patiently trying different drugs and different dosages until a magical combination kicks in.
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13 Responses to “My Sexy Little Beast of a Burden”
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Lori,
I am sprinkling fairy dust to help you find a magical combination that works for you! I wish you all the luck.
I love the letter, Lori. Living with a disease that affects every part of your life is not easy. I truly hope that you and your doctor figure out the best treatment plan for you soon and that your good days far outnumber your bad days.
xoxo
Hypogirl, what a lovely comment! I absolutely adore the imagery of fairy dust.
Thanks for lending your support.
xo
Beautifully said, Joanna and 100% agreed. I think finding that right combination of what works is such an arduous process. The trick, to begin with, IMO, is finding a doctor willing to work with you/us.
xo
I’ll be a bit selfish and wish both of us to see better days! 🙂
What a great letter Lori. I am often left wondering now what feelings/symptoms I have are thyroid influenced, and what is “normal” or “background”. Guess we’ll never know for sure!
Ana;
That is not selfish at all, that’s an honest, beautiful and truly necessary comment. Speaking of how you’re feeling… what’s going on in the thydepartment?
Love your comment.
xo
Robyn;
I’m thrilled that you echoed Lori’s sentiments about what’s thyroid and what’s us. Since the onset of this disease, deciphering what’s me and what’s my thyroid has become practically impossible.
Does anyone else feel this way, too?
Great comment, Robyn.
xo
Lori, As if the disease didn’t reap enough havoc! The medication hurdle keeps wavering with hundreds of symptoms that leaves us wondering “is this me, the meds, or the disease,or maybe something I ate, or something I’m lacking”. Its complicated beyond belief. We’re so lucky to have this support group and each other to hear the real meaning and know it personally. I’m usually not this lucid this early in the morning, perhaps its a good thing I missed that pill, or it could be something I ate, or getting up at 4am, or…….
I’ve been taking thyroid replacement for 15 years (I’m 41) and am just realizing how much my thyroid affects every part of my life.
Thanks for a great site and this letter especially.
Shan – First, you are so funny. You crack me up. Second, you make excellent points about ‘what’s me and what’s the meds’?
Of late, I find myself wondering when and, or if I’ll ever be able to differentiate. I can’t remember who I was before the disease or how I felt anymore. Do you feel this way?
Does anyone else feel this way>!
Kristin;
What was it like to grow up with thyroid disease? I have a million questions, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. It’s amazing how our thyroids affect our daily lives; so much so, it’s almost impossible to figure out how to redefine ourselves. Do you agree, or no?>
We’re so happy that we found each other.
xo
Lori,
Very good letter makes you think strongly what is thyroid related and what is not what came first the chicken or the egg? not only that some of us wonder how many years we suffered and didn’t even know it was the damn thyroid causing the problem by then it was a little too late and harder to control. Never wonder keep a journal of how you feel every day, compare it to lab results and eventually you will find where you feel good and what you should be heading for it does get easier thing is it takes time and alot of patience.
Lolly