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This Innocent Girl is Ready to Throw Down

Post Published: 12 April 2010
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 28 responses. Leave a comment

(Written by Nicole, Graves disease Patient with a Goiter)


Dear Thyroid,


It’s been awhile since we had a heart to heart, but I wanted to thank you for unleashing the full power of Graves Disease at the most opportune time—when I had no health insurance. I hope you know that at the beginning, I thought we were cool with each other: you helped me lose weight while I was eating enough to barely satiate a quarterback, and I really felt like I was getting things done when you decided to make me so hyper. I mean, honestly, you even made me believe that getting laid off from a miserable job where I became the resident psychotic was really THEIR loss, and that unemployment was a good deal for me.


Then, just like any relationship, you changed….why did you have to make my pulse 120? Why did you have to change my once sultry bedroom eyes into the evil villainous stare that it is today? Also, one of the worst offenses, why did you give me seatbelt diarrhea after EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL?


Our relationship became full blown abusive, and we were beyond counseling to work this out. The thin body you gave me had lost all muscle, and was just pure skinny fat. To make matters worse, you KNOW I live in Los Angeles and that I was getting a “girl, keep it up” wherever I went. Were you trying to give me an eating disorder? You’re a DICK.

Hitting rock bottom was being checked into an L.A. County emergency room with a pulse of 150 and no end in sight. After many months of being allergic to both PTU and Tapazole, and surgery not being an option, I’ve had to try and end this cycle with RAI. You fucking prick, apparently, the first go around at RAI might not be enough (even though you’ve made me gain so much weight in the past month, that I’m wearing sweats to bars) so there is a possibility I’m going to have to take an ass-cancer dose of radiation again. Can’t you just call it quits with us? I’m trying to become more powerful through acupuncture and healthy eating, but it would be great if you could also do your part to realize this relationship is not working, has NEVER worked, and needs to STOP. I hope this is a goodbye letter, but if you try and cross the line with me again, you’re going to have your ass handed to you. Let this be known to not only you, but to all your friends that are attacking women like myself. We’re not as helpless as you might think.


Rot in hell, you miserable goiter.

Nicole

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28 Responses to “This Innocent Girl is Ready to Throw Down”

  1. Thank you, Nicole, for this letter…you gave a voice to the anger that many of us feel. I tend to hold in my anger towards my thyroid, so it is liberating to read your letter…makes me feel like punching my thyroid in the face. I hope the RAI has sucked every bit of life out of your thyroid and that you are able to really live your life like you want to.

    xo,
    Joanna

  2. Monica says:

    Nicole,

    What a great letter! I could not have said it any better. My two favorite lines are “You’re a DICK” and “Rot in hell, you miserable goiter.” I could feel your passion and it makes me want to go out and kick some ass 🙂

    ☮ ♥

  3. Michelle says:

    Great letter Nicole! I also live in LA and feel your pain. My cancer filled thyroid helped me pack on about 30 lbs in two years. It’s been out for 4 months, I’m on a prepared food diet now and have lost 10 lbs in the last month, my levels are stable and I feel good. It’s tough anywhere, but especially in this city and especially in a industry related occupation. I feel ya fellow Angeleno. Hang in there and kick your thyroid’s ass to the curb! 🙂

  4. Dear Thyroid says:

    Nicole;

    Thank you for writing your beautiful letter and for being so brave and honest. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, I really do. I’m SO PROUD OF YOU for getting it out and sharing your story with all of us.

    xo

  5. Dear Thyroid says:

    Michelle, Nicole, we should have a Dear Thyroid local meet-up in LA. What do you think, ladies? A little offline support could be great for us. In fact, I know a few more ladies in LA that might be interested in joining us.

    xo

    email dearthyroid@gmail.com if you’re interested.

  6. Dear Thyroid says:

    Joanna – Such a beautiful show of support for Nicole – Thank you.

    Like you, I appreciate Nicole’s anger. I’m so glad she got it out of her system.

  7. Dear Thyroid says:

    Michelle;

    Congratulations on the weight loss. I so hear you regarding this city and how (I’m paraphrasing), being a size 2, and in this industry, are so grossly important. (are we vomiting yet?)

    Love the show of support.

    xo

  8. Dear Thyroid says:

    Monica,

    I love what you highlighted in Nicole’s letter “You’re a DICK” and “Rot in hell, you miserable goiter…

    Truer words have never been spoken. You are correct, her letter does make us want to kick some thyroid ass.

    Thanks for showing such wonderful support.

    xo

  9. Michelle says:

    Dear thyroid, thank you! I just emailed to your link above, let’s organize it 🙂

  10. Dear Thyroid says:

    Terrific, Michelle! Will check it out and get back to you. Wahoo.

  11. Joanna H. says:

    Thank you Nicole for putting into words so many of us don’t understand how to. I really love the way you put it too. 😉 Thank you Dear Thyroid for posting these blogs on Facebook for all of us to read. They are truly inspiring.

  12. Erin says:

    What a GREAT letter Nicole-thanks for sharing. I love that you gave your thyroid a piece of your mind and hope the damn thing heeds your advice!

  13. Coffeedog says:

    *applause*

    I’d try to write something like that about my Hashimoto’s, but I’m too fucking tired.

  14. Christine says:

    *standing O* Woot! Woot! Kickin some serious thyroid butt! Go get ’em!

  15. Christine says:

    What a fantastic letter. I could relate so much to those symptoms from when I was hyper. I really enjoyed the humour too 🙂 Thanks for sharing that Nicole.

  16. Nicole says:

    Dear Nicole,

    I loved your letter! Let me say that I have now
    adopted your ass-cancer title and will use it
    frequently!
    I will be starting my first RAI at the dnd of this
    month for Follicular ass-cancer!
    It came as a total shocker to me after my biopsys
    from Feb came back clean. I guess we all can continue
    to show that this ass-cancer cannot hide, cannot win
    and cannot take control!
    Thanks again Nicole for your letter! It was a much needed
    punch in the arm for me!
    Keep kickin’ cancer ass!
    Nicole

  17. Dear Thyroid says:

    JoannaH;

    Thank you for your incredible show of support for Nicole. I agree with you, she really nailed those angry feelings quite eloquently. She encapsulated how we feel about our thyroids, at least many of us, that is.

    xo

  18. Dear Thyroid says:

    Well said, Erin and totally agreed.

    xo

  19. Dear Thyroid says:

    Awww, Coffee dog. Hopefully if the thyzhaustion lifts, you will submit a Dear Thyroid level.

    That Hashimoto’s/Hypothyroid exhaustion is a bitch. So sorry you have to go through it.

    xo

  20. Dear Thyroid says:

    Totally agreed, Christine. Woot-woot indeed.

    xo

  21. Dear Thyroid says:

    Christine – Loved Nicole’s sensibility, too. Her anger and humor and unbridled honesty — well, it was just magnificent.

    xo

  22. Dear Thyroid says:

    Nicole;

    So sorry that you’re enduring thyroid cancer right now. Know that we are here to support you. I must say, I’m a huge fan of ass-cancer too, now.

    Please keep us posted on how you are doing? We know you’ll be kicking ass cancer’s ass ;). Still. Keep us posted.

    xo

  23. HD in Oregon says:

    Nicole,
    What a wonderful & powerfully angry letter! So sorry you had to go through all this. – Good luck with your second I-131 treatments, may the thyroid cells shrivel away completely. Good riddance to the lot!

    I am curious though, why was surgery not an option?

    All the best, and keep us posted on your 2nd RAI.

    HD in Oregon

    P.S.: Haha, with the help of Hypo-Girl I got rid of the little monster avatar, and now you have to view my lovely face instead. (Not sure which is worse).
    🙂

  24. Lolly says:

    Nicole,#

    You sure told that fucker I mean sucker what you think. I hope your not zapped too many time with RAI.
    I too was curious as to why surgery wasn;t an option over RAI espcially if you have signs of eye disease.

    and you got it girl “we are not as helpless as you might think”.
    good luck with it all great letter better out then in on both accounts.

    HD
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your little monster avatar looks like your face it’s still the same for me… ROTFLMAO

  25. Robyn says:

    Nicole,
    Way to give ’em Hell, girl! You have a positive energy in that anger–keep it up!
    Robyn

    PS. HD my facebook account must be wrong, here you look like an angry purple monster?

  26. HD inOregon says:

    Lolly, Robyn,

    I hope it is just the cash on the computer (and will resolve itself in time)… otherwise it is back to the drawing board. – And I did take that little purple monster to the dentist to file down its sharp little teeth (at great cost to me and to the dentists fingers).

    Take care all!

    HD

  27. caroline lamont says:

    Loved your letter Nicole, with your attitude you are going to make it to thyroid peace for sure!!
    I read all the comments today, and this is what I came up with:
    Dear thyroid’
    you’re a dick and I hope you rot in hell. I’m going to kick your thyroid ass to the curb, so get lost you mother fucker!! You may have left me tired and overweight, but you also left me angry and determined to punch you hard in the face and arm. I hope you are zapped to death, and if you even think of showing up again I will kick your cancer ass to kingdom come.
    I’m too fucking tired to go on right now, But I’ll have my coffee in the morning, and I will have new strength and determination to shut you down for good. You have let me (us) down and we will never forget it, but one day we will get over you, together we are strong, and together we will kick the crap out of your thyroid ass and shut you up forever!!woot woot!!

  28. Hypogirl says:

    HD I see you! LOL

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