The Rules Are Unwritten, The Path Is Untraveled
(Written by, Loaf: Wonderful bloke with hyperthyroidism)
I don’t often address you directly, but I seem to spend a lot of time clearing up after you, or coping with your collapse, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to say “hello and that I love you”.
In many ways, you and I are both being pushed round…me by you, and you by whatever is behind you… and its certainly no more your fault than mine. I still don’t know why you packed in, you never told me, or if you did I am sorry to say I wasn’t listening… I just assumed you were okay, took you for granted until one day, after several years of misdiagnoses (Chronic Fatigue syndrome/depression etc.), Dr. Birch discovered that other glands were over-functioning as if to compensate for you…then looked back over my notes and discovered that nobody had checked on you.
Seems such a sad omission given my symptoms over three years.
I was failing fast. I remember losing sight of the future, or the past, and when I was eventually put on thyroxine, I started noticing colours again, but it wasn’t really a joyous reunion. There is more bliss in living in the present, within a moment, tasting every sip of tea and rolling with a gradual decline than there is in looking around and realizing what you have missed, and what you must now face. With energy came layers of decisions which had been spared me. Thyroxine isn’t apparently a solution…but at least it helps me function, and I now have an entire pharmaceutical division working to make tablets for me to remember to take doing consciously what you did for me instinctively. But its not the same. I miss you.
Stress and responsibility affect me more now than they used to; I have lost confidence and stamina. But what you have taught me is that I need to listen, and most graciously and humbly follow my instincts, they are good ones. From this perspective comes a new approach to life. The rule book has been shredded. I stand in the face of a clear and wonderful sky, with no scripture, and I listen and smile and embrace life itself.
So, my poor tatty thyroid, I give you a hug and forgive you for having taken over so much of my life… but you always were in charge really…its just that now I must follow. I have been forced to embrace and respect your influence, and I am sorry for having neglected to introduce myself for so long. I am Loaf, your human organism, and we dance together, you and I. Since you cannot dance unaided, I shall carry you on my shoulders, and we shall look over the far horizons together, and the beat that you missed in the song of my life…it goes on.
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, effects of thyroid disorders in men, hyperthyroidism in men, lack of energy, loss of stamina, men have thyroid disease, men with thyroid disease, thyroxine thyroid medication side effects