Comment Of The Day: June 10, 2010
Today’s Dear Thyroid Letter, written by Madison was amazing – “You Thytrocious Thyle of Crap, I’m Going to College“. Madison joined our community as she was entering her senior year in high school. she began writing letters to her thyroid, and had many ups and downs, as all of us have had. Madison has Hashimoto’s. Today, she graduated from high school – and, she’s going to college to become a journalist. She sent us a beautiful poem and letter. If you haven’t read it, please do. Connect with her in comments, we know she’d love the support.
All of the comments were amazing, and, as always, choosing one is quite a task. Here we go.
Your journey is exciting and scary, whether it is at college or dealing with your thyroid. You’re a fantastic writer and you will do well on your life path. You should be proud of yourself.
Since re-launching the new Dear Thyroid, we brought back Thyme for a Literary Healing, this is an ongoing writing series. We choose a topic and ask a few questions. The goal is to get us writing about our thyroids, and sharing our stories with each other. every time we write about our own thyroid histories, we learn more about each other, and our respective disorders.
You all are WOW – you just take our wigs off with your outpouring of love, support, candor and bravery. We are so proud of you! Please, keep writing, submitting letters, and participating in all of the literary happenings on Dear Thyroid.
Today’s Literary Healing, Oh The Places You Will go. Was about self-esteem, and how we felt pre-disease about our conditions and since diagnosis. The comments and stories will take your breathe away. Please, share your stories with us; we want to hear from you.
Each comment was as fabulous and brave as the next.
Sue says: Before symptoms and disease….I was thin and beautiful. But more importantly, I was me. I went about everyday knowing who I was, what I wanted to do and feeling good enough to do it. I only feared things that common sense told me to fear. I certainly didn’t know what panic attacks were. I was on top of the world with 4 young kids and was ready and set to give them a good life. I never dreamed that hypothyroidism would suck the “go” out of that plan and turn me into a fat ugly scared to death freak of nature, unable to even do simple things like leave the house to take my kids to have fun and make memories doing fun things. Instead I’ve had to stay home and make my kids miss out on so much because I don’t feel good. I went from an awesome mom and wife to a sick pathetic loser sending an image to those that love me that I’ve gone crazy. No one, not even myself can understand how a person can go on living feeling like they are dying everyday of their life. Wondering and trying to figure out what the hell it was I did in my life that was so bad that I deserved to end up this way. For 26 years I’ve been a mother and a wife, for 13 of those years I had a blast being the best I could be and my best being good enough for those around me. For the last 13 years, it’s been hell for myself and everyone around me. To me hypothyroidism is a slow scary life of hell on earth…so freakin predictable of how your day is going to go. I hate today and fear tomorrow. I hate that people around me are so sick of the way that I feel, so sick that they would probably rather see me dead and be put out of my misery and more importantly out of theirs. It’s a sad life when an illness goes on like this for so long and there is not a soul around you that understands, not a soul that has any compassion towards you or even trys to comfort you in anyway. When you hear someone complain for 13 years, it gets old, even to yourself. Self esteem. Before, I was queen of my world. Nothing could break my stride, nothing could slow me down. Now all I have are memories of someone I once knew and loved, me. I have never been a drinker or a person that did drugs, I’ve always obeyed mans law, I’ve never even had a speeding ticket. That was my life before and still is to this day. There are no more steps left to reclaim myself. I was on Armour for 10 years because I’m allergic to the synthetics…Armour took the edge off and gave me a few good days, but never quite made me myself again. The reformulated Armour nearly killed me. Went to Westhroid, it too took the edge off and I started having good days, reformulated Westhroid, nearly killed me. The is nothing left. I have no more money for doctors and test’s. I have no insurance. I fear the end is near. I am so sick of being sick, I don’t want to die. What I would give to be alive again. Oh there are times I am beautiful and feel so wonderful, times I do things with my now grown up kids, times where I go anywhere my heart desires and do so without a fear in the world, times I never feel sick and times I forget all about hypothyroidism. Yes, I have those moments….when I am sleeping, dreams are the only comfort I know.
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