Fat Thigh-roid Woes: In a Fat Neck, Slim Lies
One of my favorite things to do is go out to a restaurant with a book, or journal, watch people and just chill. While I had my gargantuan goiter, since I was starving all the time and felt like spending $30 at breakfast – I’d go out to eat a few times a week. My journal would be with me, but the most I ever wrote in it was “Lady at the table ordered eggs, and bacon. Must not be dieting this week.” WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?
The words would never, ever come. I’d been going to a life coach during this time because apparently I felt like dropping $80/hr, but also, because I felt like I needed some help communicating and finding a way to get the words on the page. In addition to the added benefit of having someone help center me while I was a raving lunatic.
Before I got sick, I wasn’t using my creative talents like I should’ve been. I lived like that for years, and by the time Graves really progressed and my goiter was massive, it felt like a pair of hands were constantly around my neck, holding me down – and not in any sort of sexy way either. I felt like I had no other options but to put everything off to the side while working for other people, and helping their passions come to life.
I know some doctor got a lot of shit for being on Oprah and saying that what we needed was “chakra balancing” to cure our disease, and that after years of repressing our throat chakra (center of communication and speaking our truth) we’ve become diseased. This is actually a common theory, and not just exclusive to her. I do believe in chakra balancing, and I practice Reiki on myself. I do believe in the connection between mind and body – what I don’t believe is that not being truthful is the sole reason for my Graves, or that anyone else got their disease from a closed off chakra.
I believe it’s the food in this country, hormones, environmental crap, stress, and genetics that triggered my disease – and yes, maybe a dash of closed off throat communication. But if this doctor were right, I’d expect more thyroid disease coming from places and cultures around the world where women and their voices are repressed, but yet…I don’t think that’s the case. Or, I’d expect to see a decline in thyroid disease over the past 100 years in American history – because women fought to have their voices heard with success.
We’re just fucking sick in the US of A, and we just know it has a lot to do with chemicals in our food, lifestyle, and stress – not as simple as a blocked chakra.
For the purposes of this essay, let’s just entertain the idea that maybe we’ve brought sickness on ourselves – which really, isn’t fair – we have enough to deal with and don’t need to put that shit on our shoulders too. But okay, let’s have fun with it! I’ll start off with my own journey on speaking my truth, and some advice for others…
Because the Graves heightened my innate lunacy, I was yelling and shouting but that wasn’t really using “my voice”. My anger might’ve been A truth, but it wasn’t really MY truth. It was the Graves psycho and a dash of Nicole thrown in. It was as if my real voice had really left me, and I had NOTHING. I’d stare at a blank page, cry, and then go back to staring at a wall. Btw, I’ve perfected my staring at a wall technique, and when I land in an old folks home – I’m SET.
Therefore, I decided that to take a step in the right direction I needed to do a few things on my own end while the doctors attempted to pull their asses out of THEIR collective ends – I needed to start speaking my mind, and become more selfish. We’ve often heard that being selfish is wrong, however, we need to make time to take care of ourselves before we can extend a hand elsewhere. Even a damn walk around the block helps.
Everyone has been in a situation where a friend calls and desperately NEEDS something ridiculous. “Can you do me a favor??” What do we do? When we’re sick, even sitting and staring at a wall with our minds blank is beneficial to our health. No one understands though. No one but us, Graves sufferers, that we can’t leave the house because for one time today we’re not crying – and the couch has managed to make me sit still for more than 10 minutes. Therefore, we start to invent reasons why we can’t help out with…”help me move”. Are you serious? I can’t walk up a flight a stairs with my purse, and not be panting by the end – and you want me to move your tv? Blow me. How do we get out of this situation as honestly as possible, and not sound like a complete weenie? Shit, I wish I had an answer besides “blow me”, but I don’t. Wait no, okay, go with “you know what, I really don’t feel up to it today, and I hope you can understand that – I’m very sorry, but that’s just the truth.” Add in a “BLOW ME” if you feel the need too, cause I always do, but I end up losing friends – soo…..sorry if I don’t have better advice for you. Maybe you could start with “I’ll help you move when you get on your knees.” That usually throws the ball in their court, and the dance around “suck it” can go on for minutes – but it gives you time to come up with a honest, and truthful reason why you can’t help someone out. Be selfish for your health.
Speaking your truth is freeing. Once you get in the habit, things will flow and you don’t waste energy on the bullshit. If you have a problem with someone, bring it to their attention. Don’t waste your time talking about it with everyone else in the world, except for the person that needs to hear it. What good does that do? It only build up resentment and negative energy, and we don’t need that shit; we’ve got enough of our own thyroid stupidity to bother with anymore bull!
I speak my truth via this column, my blog, and photography. I’m also trying to do it out loud to everyone around me.
What might do it for you is singing, public speaking, counseling,…OR it might be to write Dr. Christine Northup via Oprah or her own website – and speak YOUR TRUTH about how she views thyroid disease.
What’s the harm in entertaining her ideas? What’s the harm in working on the mind and body connection? What’s the harm in working with your disease from all angles? I’m trying to be tolerant of all views, but also, I LOVE irony – and if she got a flood of emails with many women speaking pure uncensored THEIR truth towards her statements, that would be RAD.
What do you guys think about the possibility of our throats being closed off, and therefore, the cause of our disease? Do you believe in the mind body connection, or do you think something else might’ve been a bigger trigger – food, chemicals, air, too many blowjobs in college – let’s discuss!!
Tags: Fat Thigh Roid Woes, goiters, Graves autoimmune disease, Graves disease column, Graves' disease patient, health blog, hyperthyroid column, hyperthyroid disease, hyperthyroid support, hyperthyroidism blog, mind body healing, new approaches to healing, written by Nicole Wells