To Be Clear, Thyroid, I Will Forgive You Today. But, Just For Today
Today and only today, I thank you.
Oh please, don’t believe for a minute that I’ve forgiven you for the mess you made with my life. No, dear thyroid I wouldn’t go that far. You’ve embarrassed me with crazy mood swings you’ve put me through. Confused me with rapid weight loss, to the rapid weight gained. And now you won’t help me take it off anymore, because now you’re tired! You’ve run yourself dry running me ragged all those years I refused to kill you off, hoping that one day you would come to your senses and treat me right.
It’s ok. Today I can let it all go. Just for today, the 19th of May. Because on this day, in 2009 I had a pituitary tumor removed, which I may never have known about if it wasn’t for you.
In 2003, you led me on a cheerful chase. Sure I had thyroid antibodies, but did I have Graves or Hashimoto’s? You led me to endocrinologists who told me I was overweight, would get diabetes and die. Those same endos told me not to worry about you…oh no, nothing to be done about you yet! Shell shocked, I stopped perusing for an answer. I changed. I wasn’t the same person anymore. Instead, I was confused, moody, and irrational. The people I met during that time thought I was crazy. No new friendships were made. Some old ones were lost. And then, like a light shining bright, I found a great doctor who referred me to a GREAT endocrinologist; one who listened. This endocrinologist was the first person ever to ask if I had been treated for insulin resistance due to my PCOS. The first person who said “don’t worry, we’re going to make you feel better” and mean it.
While you were getting under control with the PTU, dear thyroid, I was racked with a host of unpleasant symptoms. You responded so well to the PTU that my dose was lowered weekly. I felt on top of the world. Then my breasts started leaking milk. My wonderful endo sent me for a n MRI of my brain right away, suspecting a prolactinoma. Yes, there was a small tumor on my pituitary gland. It was small, and a year later there was no growth, so I ignored it. Had a couple more babies, didn’t think anything of the headaches I began to get with my last pregnancy. Then I had another MRI. IT had grown. IT had bled. IT needed to come out. IT was taken out.
I survived. vision intact. Outlook on life forever changed.
Without you, dear thyroid, I may never have known, never realized how serious the time bomb in my head could have been.
So for today, I thank you. But only for today.
Tomorrow is another story.
(Bio) Georgia: I’m still struggling to get all my hormones in check, including my thyroid. Being hypo is such a change from being hyper, but I’m finding dietary ways to feel better. Exercise helps. And, the people around me, who really have come to understand these issues. Priceless. Check out Georgia’s blog.
Tags: crossover thyroid autoimmune diseases, Dear Thyroid Letters, Graves antibodies, Hashimotos antibodies, hyperthyroid weight loss, hypothyroid weight gain, I Will Forgive You Today. But, insulin resistance, Just For Today, PCOS, pituitary tumors, prolactinoma, thyroid, thyroid blog, thyroid confusion, thyroid exhaustion, thyroid mood swings, thyroid psychoses, thyroid support, thyroid's impact on patients quality of life, To Be Clear