The Price Of Admission On The Hyperthyroid Train Is…
Hello to my host body that is Amanda,
I see that you are living on the edge with finances, a unemployable 19-year old son who has social and emotional problems (and no insurance), a spouse’s layoffs, caring for your parents, dogs, cat, car trouble, 150-year old farmhouse in need of repairs, working three jobs. Yeah, I saw all that but I still wanted to make myself known. Sure, you take care of yourself and your family. You eat right, grow your own organic vegetables, work in the woods cutting firewood with hubby, walk, no smoking, no junk food, no fast food, and stay away from drugs and alcohol.
I get it…but I want your attention RIGHT NOW. Stop what you are doing, sit down and feel that old heart pounding through your chest…count the beats… not fast…just hammering away. No no no, silly, deep calming breaths won’t help. Now pick up your knitting needles and work on that lace scarf for your daughter. Yes, the one with the nice pattern, fairly simple repeat. Look at you go! Look at the needles wobble and smack together. Look at you fuck up the pattern. Look, you are back knitting… lace. Yeah right. Pull it all out and start over.
Wheee! This is fun. What else can we do? 90 degree humid weather? Bring it on, you don’t mind sitting around in sweat-soaked clothing at work…in the air conditioning. Hell, you did that in March and April—what difference will 50 or 60 degrees make? Now at work, concentrate…concentrate…oh look, who just walked by? Now answer the phone, research info for the boss, send out requests, balance the budget, and check email. Repeat about 100 times. How many typos are there? How many words are spelled completely backwards? How many phone calls answered “hullo?” or just pick up the phone and forget to say anything—that’s the best.
Yay! You are fun to mess with. Silly you, think you can beat the brain fog with note taking, pop-up reminders and cell phone alarms? Whatever. The minute you walk down the hall, you will forget where you were going…and possibly forget to come back.
It is so cool how worried you are about eating anything that “might” cause gas (or worse). Even cooler when you don’t expect it and suddenly *BAM* there you are fast-walking to the ladies room. What a hoot! Of course your eating is freaking you out, since you are always hungry/eating…. but the scales say otherwise. You sort of don’t mind that… but I am pretty sure you are losing muscle/strength.
Remember yesterday? When you sat in your office wondering if you could wheel down the hall to the supply closet in your office chair? Too bad you chickened out, your boss would have loved seeing you toot on by his office… with your freak flag flying. Maybe another time.
So you keep rescheduling appointments, freaking out, and being afraid to ask for help. Look how well it is working for you? What a ride this will be!
Lots of love to you,
Your Oppositional Thyroid
bio: Amanda is a 44 year old woman who has lived in rural Vermont all of her life. I work hard, live simple, and love with all my heart. My thyroid issue began exactly on March 17th this year, hyperthyroid is my initial diagnosis. This is all surreal to me. First endo appointment next week (yes, I have rescheduled… will try not to freak out and do it again).
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, hyperthyroid community, hyperthyroid letters, hyperthyroid literature, hyperthyroid patient experiences, hyperthyroid patient letters, hyperthyroid side-effects, hyperthyroid support, hyperthyroid symptoms, hyperthyroidism, Letters written to thyroid patients by their thyroids