Fat Thigh-roid Woes: Quasi-healthy
As I write this, I’m coming out of one of the more major funks and rage episodes I’ve had in a long time.
I woke up this morning to inner chaos. I don’t know why, last night I went to bed and I felt just dandy. I got up, started my normal routine of popping my Armour and then looked in the mirror. This is who I saw staring back at me.
My Graves eye disease had hit a peak before the RAI, and after I had the RAI they calmed down a lot thanks to my dietary changes (I think). However, this morning, it just seemed like my right eye was bulging more than my left.
It’s enough that this disease, designed by evil, wreaks havoc on our bodies – but does it really need to change the way my eyes look as well?? What, the heart palps and explosive seatbelt diarrhea wasn’t ENOUGH??
I used to love my eyes. Bedroom eyes, and a great almond shape. Now, please see picture above for the current and forever state. It doesn’t help that the only option I’m hearing for help is “you could go get your eye taken out and the muscle behind scraped”. I used to wear eye makeup and contacts to highlight my best attribute, and now I hide behind glasses and don’t try to draw any attention to my altered physical appearance.
So, I did what anyone else would do in this situation. I took some flaxseed oil, and BAWLED my Quasi-healthy Quasimodo eyes out, before dragging laundry to my mom’s house and crying there too.
I wish I could write something more uplifting about this particular subject, but I’m having a hard time dealing. All I want to do is rant about it, and that makes me feel bad. The purpose I set out for this column was to help, not to dump my problems on top of all of you. But, something is compelling me to share everything with the DT community. It’s like, we’ve been out on a couple of dates, you treated me just right, and I’m ready to take it off…
Here it is: I know we all have our personal crazy lives that never meld with our medical disasters, but I feel like TOO much is being thrown on me at once right now. I’m stressing about medical bills from RAI and county hospital shit, and now being thrown on top of that – my appendix decided it wanted to leave my body cause even IT couldn’t deal with the pressure anymore. On top of THOSE bills and not having any insurance, or any means to pay – I have to try to find a job (apparently, I CAN’T stay on unemployment forever…) and I keep sending my resume out but I’m not hearing anything back. I’m single, and my stupid ass didn’t get a sugar daddy when I had my chance in my 20s so like, I have NOTHING. I’m not even hot enough to find a sugar daddy NOW thanks to becoming a lard-o on top of already being a psychopath with villainous eyes.
What else besides stress could be bulging my eyes out? Do I really need to give up gluten for life so I don’t deal with the up and down of the eye bulge? Because I have definitely noticed a connection, and I think my body is just gluten intolerant. I don’t get a rash or stomach pains, but my allergies in general get worse. I try to stay away from the good stuff, but DAMN it why does sourdough bread have to be so delicious???? Gluten free bread smells like body sweat to me, and I just can’t make a decent sandwich on it. I guess it’s back to quinoa, potatoes, and rice for all my carbs. BALLS.
I suppose I’m asking all of you for help this time around, because I need to hear some uplifting experiences. I figure our relationship should be somewhat symbiotic, and right now I need to latch onto the teet of the Dear Thyroid community to get some much needed nourishment.
What are your experiences with GED, and how have you been able to manage your symptoms even after treatment? Some of you might be years beyond RAI or surgery, and I wanna know if your eyes still act up, or have they gone down? Also, does ANYONE know of a supplement that has worked GED miracles?
I’m visiting my endo this week to gaze at his well sculpted pecs, and oh yeah, to get a blood test done. It’s been 3 months since I’ve started the Armour and I’m hoping for a bit of good news. I’ve laid it all out on the table, DT community, things are beyond chaotic right now and I’m trying to keep a lid on all the stress. If it wasn’t 100 degrees outside, I’d light my medical bills on fire and bust out the S’mores set. I also have less than 1 month to find a job, or I shall be crashing on your couch with my two cats…so get the blankets READY.
However, even with all this, if just one person out there has a positive and uplifting story about GED – it would be enough to make me happy, because it’s HOPE not only for me, but for all of us.
In addition to that, I want to know about your general health. Why is it we are to assume that once our thyroid is taken care of, we’ll be tip top? How do you keep yourselves healthy after treatment?
I wish I had a better story for everyone today, but I’ve been on the phone all week with numerous people wanting money that I do not have. Short of blowing them, I don’t know what I can do to not pay. I’m pretty sure a lot of you are in the same situation with medical bills, and maybe we can get together and have a bill torching party. I’ll supply the booze. Until then, I’m looking forward to hearing your great stories, and if you don’t have anything positive and uplifting – tell me anyways! Let’s rant together, maybe we can find a solution or mantra we can make up for all the bills, headaches, and bullshit we’re all dealing with to just go away.
Tags: (RAI) radioactive iodine treatment, Fat Thigh Roid Woes, graves eye disease, Graves eye disease impact on self-esteem, hyperthyroid dietary changes, medical bills, patient experiences of GED, quasi healthy