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Dancing with the Shredder Tornado

Post Published: 19 July 2010
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 13 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

You really fucking suck.

You did it, Thyroid. You destroyed me, tore me to pieces over the years. But no, that’s still not enough for you, is it? You are still vying to make your cancerous presence known. You broke me. My heart, my spirit, crushed. I hated myself because of you.

What you’ve put me through I can barely put into words. You tried to kill me a few times. You almost won. I almost let you win. At times, I wanted you to win. But here I am, still cleaning up the mess you made.

Can we please go back to the good ol’ days? The days when I didn’t know what the fuck you were? I’m a different person now. A stronger person. A better person. What you’ve given me–is it a blessing or a curse? Right now, I’m too conflicted to say.

Either way, I really fucking hate you.

Until we meet in Hell,

Brooke

(Bio) Brooke Milander, 17, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in July 2009. Two surgeries later, she’s still fighting. Follow her on Twitter @flying_deskset, or add her on Mingle at closertotheedge.

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13 Responses to “Dancing with the Shredder Tornado”

  1. Donna says:

    Hi Brooke, You have been through so much and it does not seem fair, it is not. But you have the fighting spirit and that will help you through. I am a follicular thyroid cancer survivor and feel your words deep within me. I wish only the best for you, you have your whole life ahead of you. Please lean on us if you need to. It is not easy and you are allowed to have your moments, we get it. We are with you awesome girl, 110%. Sending lots of love and healing wishes to you.

    Hugs,
    Donna xo

  2. Melissa Travis says:

    Thank you so much for writing this brave and beautiful letter. Sharing your stories heals. It does. It heals you and everyone else. We are all part of it and it is all our process to go through! We’re here with you for the support baby- ALL OF IT ALONG THE WAY!!

    And- I want to remind you of this – YOU ARE ALREADY WHOLE – your thyroid is NOT your master – it is just part of your beautiful whole healing amazing blooming process. I’m telling you this to remind both of us. I OFTEN need to be reminded of my own surviving that I’m still on my path and no disease is my better. Thank you so so much for writing in. You rock it. SO HARD.
    xo
    Melissa

  3. Amanda says:

    Brooke,
    This breaks my heart. My daughter just turned 17, and I know what a devastation this would be on her active, bright life. You have been through too much for someone your age, but it will make you better and stronger. It just sucks.

    Amanda

  4. I love your show of support, Donna! Brooke definitely has the fighting spirit. We all have our moments, but that’s part of the healing process, yes? We all have to lean on each other.

  5. Melissa, I love that what you say about healing–sharing our own story is healing and reading others’ stories is healing. So right you are. Reading other people’s stories reminds us that we are in this together.

    Brooke is a rockstar, and so are you!

  6. Amanda, you’re right–cancer does suck. But you are also right that walking this road is making Brooke a stronger person, even if she can’t always see it.

    Thanks for supporting Brooke!

  7. Dear Thyroid says:

    Brooke – SO PROUD OF YOU! You are a wonderful writer and a beautiful young woman – and you are enduring far too much. You’re a fierce fighter. I believe in you.

    We’re all here to support you.

    Lots of love, kid, and healing good wishes.

    xo

  8. landsman2010 says:

    Does cancer ever stink??! I’m glad you’re starting to see the beauty and “good” that can come out of cancer. That’s the biggest obstacle EVER. What this has done to you will help you in the long run and you’ll see it for a lifetime. No rhyme or reason why it happened, but you’re taking it in stride and fighting. You go girl! Lots of love and well wishes : )

  9. Brooke, to echo the sentiments of others–I’m so stinkin’ proud of you! I’m proud not just because you’re fighting cancer, but because you are living with cancer and living well.

  10. Finding good in the midst of something as black as cancer is not easy, but discovering the good makes a world of difference in how we live with the bad.

    Thank you for supporting Brooke, Alexa!

  11. Bee says:

    so very sorry you are experiencing this-it’s never easy but it is always life-altering. Hate your gland but don’t hate your life…and just say screw it, i’ll get thru it!!!

  12. Bee, “Hate your gland, but don’t hate your life.” I love that!! Great words of wisdom for all of us. Thanks for sharing and for supporting Brooke.

  13. Sherry Smyth says:

    Rest peacefully child. My heart breaks.

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