Fat Thigh-Roid Woes: Grow up, Goiter!
A few years ago, when my doctor thought I was Hashimoto all the way, I had been on meds for about six months when she called me and told me I needed to come off meds immediately cause I had Graves. Obviously, she didn’t test specific antibodies for each, she just ASSUMED I had Hashi…dumbass. At the time, I hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary, maybe I’d been moving faster but I thought it was because I had more energy than before cause my thyroid was working! Yay!!
I also didn’t pay much attention to how I was regularly choking while eating, and people around me assumed I was choking because I have a tendency to inhale my food like a rabid dog.
I went to another endo cause the doc who said I was first Hashi, now Graves, was a giant whore and I never wanted to see her again. This new endo said something like, “You’re not Hashi, never were according to these blood tests and DAMN have you seen the size of your neck??”
All I had to do was move my eyes a little south and see the fluffy pillow wrapped around the front of my throat.
“But…I’ve always had a fat neck.” Honestly though, I don’t remember my neck ever being THIS fat. I just thought it was because I’m a Taurus, my body is fluffy by nature, and anytime I’ve read anything on astrology about my freakin’ sign it says, “You bulls love food so make sure you watch your weight, you also love sensual things and rich desserts – oh, and you also have a tendency to have a large neck.”
She continued, “Do you hear a ‘whoosh’ sound from blood flowing in your ears?”
Could my fat neck be the reason I was choking on air, and felt like I was head down in oncoming waves at the beach? I imagined a monkey sitting inside my brain, wearing a graduation cap, doodling on a chalkboard while baring his teeth and screeching at me. He’s pointing from the chalkboard to me and slapping his face, so furious he can’t communicate with the idiot wearing the dunce cap in the corner.
How in the world could I have not noticed something like this before? Now that I saw it, that’s all I saw. From that moment on, I obsessed about my goiter. I left the house wearing scarves so people wouldn’t notice my neck. What made me assume people would notice when I HADN’T NOTICED?? I made constant references to my “thick football neck”. I drove people INSANE while looking over pix from parties, just to say “look at how lovely my goit looks”. I busted open a bunch of photo albums with pictures of me over the years…fat neck fat neck fat neck…..AHHH…and I discovered I always had a little lump at the front of my neck. From the time I was young. I remember doctors mentioning it in passing, but I never thought to check it out. However, now it was absolutely GIGANTIC.
All of the sudden, I’m noticing it on everyone around me. If I see anyone on tv, on the news, or wherever and if they appear nervous and have a goiter – all I want to do is somehow get into contact with them and say “visit your doc NOW”. Whenever my eyes wander to a stranger that has bulging eyes, goiter, and shaky hands – I resist the urge to sit them down and have a long, lengthy, and tearful discussion about thyroid disease.
I’m trying to figure out the purpose of all this…why do I care? I’ve had other ailments before, but when people exhibit similar symptoms my first reaction isn’t “oh snap, she has this…” Why am I noticing these goiters everywhere I go??
I’m self-analytical to the point of exhaustion – but I can’t figure out the purpose of being so aware of goiters on other people. Maybe the answer is staring at me in the face, but I wanted to know if this was specific to me, or…how many of you are noticing goiters on others now that you’ve noticed your own? Have you ever said anything to anyone, or wanted to say something?
I know that if I was to ever walk up to someone on the street, or while meeting someone in passing, and rattle off about a goiter, bug eyes, and diarrhea – I’d either get shot or locked up in an asylum, so…I refrain.
So, I sit and think. I think about this: Do I have some sort of societal obligation to others now that I’ve been through this horrible nightmare? Can I generate good “karma” by giving someone else a heads up? Am I crazy to think this way?
I know it’s very common for people to get diagnosed as being manic depressive or bipolar if suffering from Graves, and it could take years before an actual Graves diagnosis is made. Many of you have probably been in this situation, so if you could help someone else avoid the same fate, would you? Of course, how do we know the stranger or acquaintance in question actually has Graves or hyperthyroid and if they do – how do we know they aren’t being treated? Well, we don’t, simple as that, but is it so bad just to…say something…anything??
Think back to before you knew you had Graves, how would you have reacted if someone came up to you and said “Funny story…starts out with me having a fat neck….”?
Should we feel any sense of duty to help others possibly suffering from Graves or hyper? Or should we just stay out of it?
Tags: fat necks, Fath Thigh-Roid Woes Written by Nicole Wells, goiters, Grave disease symptoms, graves disease blog, Graves disease column, graves disease support, hashimotos and Graves disease symptoms, hyperthyroid blog, hyperthyroid support, hyperthyroidism, thyroid crossover symptoms, thyroid misdiagnoses