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Thyroid Cancer, When All Was Said; I Was Done
Dear Thyroid,
It’s been almost a year since we parted ways. My mother worried I was being overzealous, and expressed her opinion that maybe I should reconsider our separation. Others tried to be supportive of my choosing to leave you, but I could always catch a tiny bit of doubt in their eyes. Some said I wouldn’t make it without you, they said I’d be a fool to leave you.
The unknown is a scary place. There are some things in life you have to do alone. I’d wondered if I was making a mistake…how would my life be without you, after what seems a life time together? Secretly, I wasn’t sure I could make it without you. Over the years you made me doubt myself as a wife, a mother, and a woman. You made me so tired, and at other times, so ugly inside, and out. You scarred me in more ways than words can express. I was dying inside, I had to choose to live without you.
The decision was the right one, I know that now. It’s taken me a while to really believe that my life is better without you. Changing my life, and redefining who I am as a woman wasn’t an easy task to complete. I am grateful for each day that I grow stronger. The scars you left on me remind me of my strength, and my courage. It reminds me of my belief, and that I am not a victim. I am a survivor, today, and forever.
Yours Truly,
Justi
About Me: After ten years, and eight doctors, I finally had answer. Lucky for me, it was before the cancer spread. Again I realize, I am a survivor. XOXO
- Multinodular Goiter diagnosed Sept. 2009~
- Hashimoto’s diagnosed Sept. 2009~
- 4 FNA (inconclusive) Oct. 2009 ~
- Total Thyroidectomy Nov. 13 2009~
- First ever thyroid meds taken Nov. 14 2009~
- Papillary Follicular Thyroid Cancer Survivor confirmed on Nov. 23 2009~
- PCOS confirmed diagnoses Dec 14 2009~
- RAI 131 100Mci Feb. 10th, 2010~9am (in hospital stay 2-3 days)
- Full body scan deemed free of cancer Feb. 19th 2010~
- LABS: TSH= .006 and Tg= negligible; 1 lymph node considered enlarged but benign July 6, 2010~
My Rants about symptoms, Hashimotos, Thyroid Cancer, Total Thyroidectomy, and RAI 131 100 mCi
Tags: Cancer patient letters, Dear Thyroid Letters, empowering thryoid cancer letters, family support for cancer patients, making decisions about thyroidectomy for cancer, thyroid cancer letters, Thyroid Cancer When All Was Said I Was Done written by Justi
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9 Responses to “Thyroid Cancer, When All Was Said; I Was Done”
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Justi,
You’re so right describing it as a journey into the unknown!
I am glad you did it, and glad you now think it was the correct decision to have your thyroid (and your cancer) removed. Even though it is a slow growing cancer, it is still a DAMN cancer and can kill.
I delighted to hear that your WBS (Whole Body Scan) was negative (as I said before, that is one of the few instances where the word “negative” is actually very “positive”. Hurray!)
Your TSH though, sounds extremely low to me. Are you sure it is the correct number? – The reference range for TSH (from my lab) is 0.4 to 4.5 — My own TSH is at 1.95 and my endo is happy with that (not sure I am happy with it, since I am still so darn fatigued).
Great post, thanks for sharing!
HD
Justi,
Aren’t you so glad you made that decision I too was faced with the same racking decision after 5 FNA’s coming back inconclusive. I didn’t decide straight away I knew what lay ahead once I had made that decision for me I don’t think I called it right but then who knows down the line had one of the nodules becoming cancerous, the right side growing rapid when faced with a choice do I, don’t I, do I take chance or get the damn thing out and find out once and for all I guess there really isn’t a choice when faced with the prospect of cancer no matter how slow growing it is, it is still cancer.
So pleased to hear your WBC came back negative like HD said this is one time it becomes a positive word. As for your TSH HD it is niot unusual to have a TSH as low as that mine was surpressed no reading at al and they went to 0.03 (0.20-5.50) though I do think there might be an extra 0 in there the lowest is 0.00.
Thanks for sharing your letter with us Justi.
Lolly
Good health to you and staying free from cancer.
Lolly
Lolly,
My TSH was suppressed on purpose before the RAI ablation, but after the WBS my endo cranked it up to a “normal” range so that I don’t have to suffer too many hypothyroid symptoms. – Since Justi’s scan came back negative and thyrogloblin is near zero, I am confused and really surprised why her TSH is still so very very low. – I would ask my endo for an explanation why he/she is doing this.
HD
HD,
I would be more concerned about your iown TSH being over 1.0 surely suppressed is better than to high.
There maybe nothing Justi’s Endo/Dr can do about there suppressed TSH it may just take time for that to come back even after surgery or RAI. I would also be wanting to see if Justi is hyper too. And adjusting medication acordinglingly we only have part of the picture but you are right to question it I know I would too.
Lolly
Lolly,
My endo is pushing mine down from the 1.95 – But he is also concerned that I get hyper symptoms if it gets too low. (He says that could be bad for the heart).
BTW, mistyped in my earlier post, meant of course hyper- not hypothyroid with such a low TSH number. (I always do mix the two up. Slippery fingers I guess).
HD
dear Justi,
Glad you are on the mend.
That was a lot to go thru all in one year……
I’m glad you have arrived at this place.
Can’t comment on #’s thing, I do believe different strokes for different folks…But do ask your healthcare advisor.
Everyone, I’m sure is just looking out for you, but I don’t want you to start worrying about the # stuff. Your body, you feel, you will know if you are off. Hurray for your success…..love the Good News xoxoxox Linny
Thanks guys!! It was a lot to go through, this is my 1 year anniversary from when all this madness finally resolved itself.
As for my TSH, I am still learning all this thyroid stuff. My
Endro wants it to be as close to 0.00 as possible. She feels a rise in my TSH, would mean a rise in my thyroid cells, when then increases a relapse of thyroid cancer in my body. Leading me to more surgery and/or RAI 131 treatments, which of course is my worst nightmare. She stated sometimes thyroid tissue does regenerate in the neck. She is going to check me again on 01/11/11. (Nice date…I know!)
Until that date, I will enjoy me as I am now. My hair loss ceased, and my hair has begun to grow back nicely! My skin is no longer dry, and cracking…making me into the literal cracker that I am! My mother nature visits have improved, although I think we could still use some counseling sessions, seeing as I resent her. My ears no longer keep me awake with constant ringing. My breathing is very good, and my energy is better than it has been in the last decade. Also my husband enjoys that I am now the one chasing him around the house. 🙂
The down side, I am very slow to lose weight, which is more a result from the PCOS, and that it makes me pre-diabetic. Insomnia is my late night TV friend. My eye site has diminished significantly since my eye exam 12 months ago, I have to take a little colored pill each morning for the rest of my life, and my friend cancer is always waiting for me in the shadows.
XOXO For now, I’m at peace. I know I am luckier than many brave souls who have walked this path before me.
Justi,
It’s great news to hear that you are feeling so much better. Do learn about your disease/thyroid cancer how it is treatedd ask other thyroid cancer patients compare but remember everyone is different but treatment is usually the same.
HD i knew you meant Hyper, i can understand you know whanting to be there. but stil a TSH above 1.0 with history of T cancer I would want that lower.
Linny numbers are important when you have had thyroid cancer but agree if you feel okay with a sypressed TSH and other labs are within range then don’t worry.
Lolly
HI everybody … I agree, numbers are important.