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To Know You is to Hate You

Post Published: 25 October 2010
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 8 responses. Leave a comment


Dear Thyroid,

Why do you choose how I sleep or when I have pain? I am so tired of being tired, with soreness when I walk a good distance.

My doctors say I’m fine.

You control my world and my temperature, so I perspire when I shouldn’t. You make it hard to get through a day. You make it hard to wake up for my day, to begin with. I am always super tired; too tired to help my husband and unable to enjoy his company. I dislike being cold when it is nice outside. I’m getting sick of having tea and milk, yet you give me heartburn, when you feel like I am incorrectly taking care of you.

I live with a wonderful man that is helping me to deal with your issues. I am tired of every condition you give to my life, making it miserable. You and I need to get along. I don’t want you to tell me how to act. It is depressing that you are playing Master of my life.

I am tired of not having the energy to enjoy my walks or bicycle rides with my wonderful man, because you have granted me with asthma, which makes my life worse because I need more medicine once a month.

Why did you choose me or did someone else choose this life for me and you just helped? I feel I’m punished forever to bring harm to my wonderful husband, Scott.

Scott, I am sorry, my thyroid is messing up our marriage. I know you love me despite the issues my thyroid is causing. Please forgive my thyroid.

Thyroid, I love you and hate you too. Please get along with me…We need to work together, not separately.

Faith

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8 Responses to “To Know You is to Hate You”

  1. Amanda says:

    oh Faith!
    I so know how you feel. Thank you for writing this wonderful letter.

    Be well,
    Amanda

  2. lori says:

    Faith – I can totally relate. It’s so difficult to make yourself do things when you have no energy and I know what the pain is like. It all sucks so bad but I’m glad you’re husband is understanding and supportive. It makes it so much easier to deal with. Try not to feel too bad. I’m sure you would do the same for him and he knows that. Keep fighting and you will find the answers.

    Hang in there,
    Lori♥

  3. Lolly says:

    Faith,

    Great letter Great support from your loving husband.

    Lolly

  4. DrEricO says:

    Faith,

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Thyroid conditions can definitely put a strain on a relationship, but it sounds like you have a very supportive husband.

    Dr. Eric

  5. Debra says:

    Faith,

    Consider yourself very lucky that you have a loving, supportive husband. Thyroid disease destroyed my marriage because my husband gave up on me. He didn’t want to deal with me being sick every day. He hates me now, and why, because by no fault of my own, i became ill. I will never understand how somebody can blame you for getting sick. I feel like it was all my fault, and i feel guilty every day of my life now. There are so many people who don’t understand how horrible this disease can make you feel. I guess if somebody leaves you because you are ill, they never really cared about you in the first place 🙁

  6. Dear Thyroid says:

    You know, Debra, you’re right… If they really care, they are with you through thick and thin. I think illness teaches us who really loves us unconditionally. Our respective diseases leave an indelible imprint on the lives of our family and friends.

    Awareness and education are born out of discussion, letters, and comments like yours.

    I wish you didn’t feel guilty or sad, or bad, because it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Sadly, very sadly, he wasn’t strong enough to weather the storm.

    Wishing you the world,
    DT

  7. Linny says:

    Oh Faith you are so right on. Hopefully everyone has SOMEONE who will listen and believe and support and not give up on us.
    But if not DT can mean so very much.

    I went thru a terrible phase where the middle of my foot would not bend. I would slide along and have to wear shoes a size to large. My feet were so tender I couldn’t bare having anything touch the tops.
    So very sharp the pain. It is still a very tight muscle under the foot in the arch. A rubber band feeling that might pop with too much bend. It is better but the summer sandle weather is over and to wear a closed shoe will take time. If I can go bare foot it is best.
    My hips would lock like this as well. I think that it has helped to be off dairy. {no soy}
    I miss a nice glass of milk but I think it became poison for me.
    Cold weather is like being stabbed. Our winters are so cold. It can get below 0. I cannot go out. When I get cold nothing can warm me enough it is terrible.
    The heat is bad but not as bad. I also always wash my feet with the coldest water. Crazy Graves! My best to you, be well, love, Linny

  8. Fran says:

    Hi Faith, that is how I feel.. and Debra, my husband is only bearly putting up with me, he thinks im faking and i use the disease as an excuse, but he also doesnt not like to hear ‘its because of the disease…’ or anything to do with it.. he is not very patient which is the problem.. but i cant really talk to my friends about it because they just think im moody and wierd.. what do you do? to keep myself happy I have surrounded myself with lots of animals, and they always put a smile on my face….

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