Fat Thigh-roid Woes: Tip the Scales of Balance Out Your Window
Remember the first time you complained about gaining weight to someone, and they turned around and said “just eat in moderation”?
Even though I say it with a sick grin to others – every single time someone says it to me in all seriousness, it makes my fist search for a face to punch.
If everyone knew to eat in “moderation”, then why do so few of us actually do so? Just one of the issues happens to be the word “moderation”. Do you know what that means? To me, moderation means a single cheeseburger, instead of a double-double from In n Out…therefore, it’s all relative.
Society, in general, doesn’t strive for moderation. People view moderation as lacking in passion, especially in politics. If I tell people “I’m in the middle” I get the “yeah, but where do you stand on THIS ISSUE???” Can’t I be in the middle on this issue?
The real concern is…moderation is a direct connect-the-dots to the word and meaning of “balance”.
Mother Nature seeks balance, and many gurus or what have you blabber on and on about the benefits of balance, and shit, yin and yang are dualities that represent balance.
Disease is the manifestation of imbalance within our bodies over a period of time. I’ve heard a holistic doc explain that our bodies are like cars – you can put shitty oil into your car, you can not take it in for maintenance and it will still drive and take you where you need to go. However, after many years of crap care, your car will break down and be hauled off to the junk yard.
My question is, how do we seek balance (and therefore stay reasonably healthy) within a society that demands imbalance?
As many of you know, I just recently started a job and it makes me think of one of my fave movies of all time. “Dumb and Dumber”….
Harry: I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week!
Cause really, WHO WANTS to work forty hours a week? Would you if you didn’t have to?
I felt like the unemployment gave me some time to achieve balance, and now with this extra forty hours a week of work – I need to once more seek harmony and health within myself. I feel off. It still feels strange to have to get up and be somewhere all day, then come home and take care of the stuff I used to take care of at my own leisurely pace when I wasn’t working. The pace my body and mind had determined to be healthy.
Now I’m back to the old schedule, and it should feel familiar because I’ve worked like this longer than I was unemployed…but it seems like a joke. Like any minute I’ll be walking into a room and people will jump out and yell, “FOOLED YOU. Ok, go back to waking up on your own schedule, and being your own boss. Grab a danish on your way out.”
But this whole running errands on the weekends business is the bigger joke people. If you work a full time job, do you really take your entire weekend to unwind and relax?? Most people I know are doing the things they didn’t have time to do over the week – clean, cook meals, run to the store, laundry, taking care of kids, etc. I’m single, and I already feel like I have all these things I’m obligated to do…how does this happen??
I want to hire an intern to do my side work. But that’s beside the point.
I’m very grateful for employment in these tough economic times, and I know I’ll eventually get adjusted – but in the meantime, I’m flustered. I’m even panicking about this column. On one hand, I don’t want to write for the sake of getting something on the page and have it be crap – and on the other hand, I feel like I don’t have time to write something amazing for you. I’m one column away from attaching pix of puppies and kittens into the body of this column, so the time you spent reading this wasn’t all a loss.
I also need an intern to do my time management.
But ahh, Americans don’t get enough sleep, that’s how we get these things done. Then we show up to work tired, defenses low, and someone brings in donuts for breakfast. Then we’re powering through our day on coffee and crap. Finally, we get home and make a quick meal, zone out and start life over again the next day. The straight path to disease.
If I was the prez, I’d make sure everyone got a siesta at every single company in the US. You know, it would be on that federal law shit in the lunch room at work, underneath the “how to report workplace harassment” section. We’d all have European shopkeepers hours, and productivity would be better cause everyone would be HAPPY AND HEALTHY.
Who here has the full time grind, and how do you manage it? I need some pointers.