Come on Thyroid, it’s not you – it’s me!
Dear Thyroid –
I realize you are probably a little bit mad, since I threw you out in August. I admit, it was a hasty decision. You had cancer, and well, I just couldn’t deal with that. I was insensitive. But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve had an epiphany.
It just isn’t the same without you. I’ve changed. Really! I miss you, and even though we didn’t exactly have a dizzyingly happy relationship, your mere presence seemed to make my life so much better.
I’ve lost a lot of friends since I broke up with you.
Remember the doctor? Okay, they were all doctors. Well ever since you left they just haven’t seemed to know quite what to do with me. Now that you’re gone, they just don’t seem to care anymore, and honestly, it’s killing me. I tried to explain, that you’re gone, and now I need something else to fill the void – and they just don’t understand how large of a void that is.
We tried to fill the void with drugs – but they never give me enough to suppress my longing for you – in fact they haven’t even given me enough to replace you, and then they insist it’s my fault I can’t fill your void. But it’s not their fault they don’t know how to fix me, right? I mean I am much more informed on our situation.
I’ve suffered from awful things because you’re not here. I promise not to let you down if you come back – I will be there for you, we’ll work this ‘cancer’ thing out – you and me! We will solve it some other way, and then it will be just you and me again, like the good old days of me ignoring you completely, and you making me really fat and a bit crazy.