Chronic Snarkopolist: Oh What the New Year Brings!
Hello my loves. The New Year approaches!
I have never told anyone this story before but it reflects how we all feel sometime. It happened over a New Year years ago. And it shows how we all kiss the sky and suck dirt at various points in our lives. It is a circuitous New Years story.
My friend Gloria was going through a divorce and was woefully unhappy. I was celebrating the New Year with friends in Ireland and invited her to come. She came over because she couldn’t bear to be in her home and miss all the traditions she’d had with her ex. Whilst she was in Ireland she’d managed to have a decent time. However, she also lost a gold hoop earring that had sentimental value to her.
As I was seeing her to the plane to the UK where she was spending another week visiting friends she mentioned that losing her earring was one more loss. She took it as an indicator of how her entire life was going to be and losing it at the beginning of the New Year was proof of how horrible her life would be from then one. I hugged her and comforted her but she was sad anyway. We all cycle in despair when we are down. I know I do!
On the way back to where I was staying I felt so conflicted. Life is so full of loss and pain. Why can’t we find a simple gold earring once in a while? Why can’t we have joy? Why can’t a few good things happen too? Miles away I trudged and behold in a puddle of water near a bus stop I saw a gold shiny thing. I held it up and it was her missing earring!
I clutched it to me! What are the chances? Sometimes you actually look down and see gold! Sometimes in the shit storm of life you find what someone else is missing! I posted it in the mail to her address in New York and it got to her home before she had returned from her European trip. I was so happy. It was a sign that there were good things ahead.
Two years later I invited her to my wedding. I also invited another close friend who lived on the opposite cost in San Francisco. The day they met there were instant sparks. Who knew? They would have never met if not at my (pathetically horrific fizzled out craptacular event where at least 3 other couples are now living in bliss) wedding. She even pulled me aside after realizing his shirt fit and said, “It’s the holy grail!” I will always remember that. Now that prednisone has expanded me into a woman OF SIZE and I continue to date men who wear mediums yes – a men’s shirt that fits is indeed THE HOLY GRAIL.
They fitfully dated coast to coast for years, all during my marriage and divorce and illness. And now they are together, in partnered bliss. We’ve seen each other through it; Cycles of joy and grief and pain. There were times when we were sure nothing would EVER be ok. And there were times when I was positive breathing was all I could do. And there were times when we were all on top of the world.
But I’m holding on to the notion that sometimes you look down and not only find gold but you find your friend’s sentimental gold earring because it is supposed to be returned to her and you are supposed to spread a little joy and hope. You are supporting her during her crisis. I keep believing that we all share and heal.
I keep doing this week after week because I continually have people loving me and giving to me and sharing with me. When I am the most down someone inevitably comes through for me and I know that there is hope. I may not have any wedding invitations at the moment but I know at any moment any one of you might look down and find my special sentimental earring and send it back to me. We’ve got each other. We’re here for each other. We’re all in this together.
New Years will never be the same for me after that moment. It was when I stopped making resolutions to change and started making resolutions for change. I’m all about making life a better place for each of us because we’re all in it and we’re all doing it.
Happy New Year my loves! I send you hope for love and comfort and time to reflect and heal yourself and spend comforting and healing others with sharing and listening. I have shared this story because I believe that sometimes we TRULY are able to look down and be there in small ways that one might never believe. Life is strange and complex and terrifically odd. And sometimes we are the only things left making a difference. And THANK YOU for making a difference for me. THANK YOU.
I would love to hear your best New Years story. Tell me! I must know!
I’ll be back same time next week! Kiss kiss!
Tags: Chronic Autoimmune Conditions, chronic cancers, chronic conditions, chronic conditions column, chronic conditions support, chronic diagnoses, chronic illness during the holidays, chronic illness support, managing chronic illness over the holidays