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I SUPER Heart You, Thyroid Cancer

Post Published: 18 January 2011
Author:
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 10 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

You grew the cancer I never knew I always wanted. At least that’s sort of the line I keep telling myself to make it all okay, to mean something. Because it has to mean something. There has to be a “reason,” right?

You’ve taken away a lot, the past few months. My parathyroids, for one. The ability to go for a few hours without having to pop some kind of pill (speaking of which, I forgot to do…). My disease-free oblivion. My comfort in knowing life is totally easy and “normal.” My faith that if you’re a kale crunching, flaxseed grinding, chickpea loving hippie like me, you’re safe from the bad things. The creepy crawlies. The dreaded C word.

But as much as I hate to admit it, you’ve actually given me more than you’ve taken away. You’ve allowed me to be taken care of. To say, “No.” You’ve taught me to SLOW DOWN. CHILL OUT. It’s really not that bad. That really isn’t a priority. You’ve made me understand my job is not my life. As cliche as it sounds, you’ve given me a chance to open up my eyes, my brain, my heart and mind to a hell of a lot more. There’s a lot out there.

You’ve taught me to advocate for myself in such a short time. All those years that I felt crappy and never knew why. No more. I’m the one making the decisions now. Take no bullshit, accept nothing less than satisfaction from EVERYONE. It’s my life and my body.

Most of all, you have showed me how loved I am, regardless of everything else I “think” I need to do or be or have. People hear about you, and they’re scared – but they see me, surviving without you, and they see strength. They know where a thyroid IS now, because I tell them about you. You have allowed me to see my little sister as a caregiver – to change her own view of herself through this thing. You have allowed my dad to hear the word “cancer” and not immediately think to the death of his father and of others. You’ve my mother a chance to stop being a nurse and just be a mom, a chance for her to baby her eldest child again. And you’ve showed me how absolutely right I was in picking my guy, my best friend.

I wouldn’t say I owe you, because I would have preferred that you stay out my business, but I do know you’ve changed my life. And it will be for the better, because I will make it so. You’re the gland I never knew I could feel complete without. I appreciate all that you have brought to me. Just don’t come back again.

Love,

Erin

Erin is a 27 year-old avocado loving educator. She was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in November 2010 and blogs about it (as well as food, family, friends, health and counting down the days until she gets a dog) at Big Girl Feats (http://biggirlfeats.com) and @BigGirlFeats on Twitter.

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10 Responses to “I SUPER Heart You, Thyroid Cancer”

  1. Erin says:

    Thank you SO much for featuring my letter. I love Dear Thyroid!! 🙂

  2. Erin, this is AWESOME!! Thank you for sharing with us. 🙂 xoxo

  3. lori says:

    Erin, I loved your letter. You’ve accomplished so much and I find your words very inspiring. And really love your attitude!

    I wish all the best for your future,
    Lori

  4. Hypogirl says:

    Erin,
    What a beautiful letter! You write so well. Our Thyroids force us to take stock of what we do and how we tax our bodies. I have learned to do the same. But I find myself slipping back every once in awhile – so your letter reminded me of that.

    thank you!

  5. Judanna says:

    Erin ! Your power is real & is palpable ! And it was always in you, even when those tried to rob you of it ! Your courage empowers others ! Keep that light on for all to see & to guide our sistas still living in darkness. . . . we will reach them . . . one at a time if need be. . . . .we will reach them !

  6. Christine says:

    Thanks Erin for such a beautiful spin on having thyroid cancer! You put into words a lot of things I have thought about during my thyca battle but often forget to remember as I battle through another day of not feeling quite myself. Thanks for slamming the important stuff back into perspective for me–I needed to hear it today! Best of luck in your thyca journey….

    Christine

  7. Gabrielle says:

    I am inspired by your strength, perspective, and positive view. your letter embodies the proverb,”with great struggle, comes great reward” I too have been in your situation. ON my good days, i feel glimpses of what you wrote.

  8. Amanda says:

    Erin,
    Great letter. It is so difficult to be positive regarding thyroid issues of any kind. I am glad you found your way to find they good in this thing called cancer.

    Be well,
    Amanda

  9. Erin says:

    Thank you all so much for your beautifully kind words. As you well know, it’s not always days like this one that I wrote about in my letter – but the good days are like that and if there’s anything I want to retain after all of this, it’s gratitude and not anger.

    We’ll get through! Love to all 🙂

  10. cakes says:

    I hope that if something bad should happen to you, that you can be loving to yourself, too.

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