Don’t Expect Forgiveness Anytime Soon, Dear Thyroids
I HATED YOU AND MY SONS THYROID!!!! YOU DESTROYED OUR LIVES! AND I’M SO ANGRY!
I am a 40 year old woman who was diagnosed with a severe form of Hashimoto’s/Thyroiditis in 1999. I was very ill and almost slipped into a coma. I struggled for 10 years with a up and down TSH numbers. I slept ALL the time, hair fell out, weight up and down, skin turned black, total hysterectomy, etc. I can honestly say I’ve been sick for a long, long time, even with meds. A year ago I had a total thyroidectomy. My thyroid was the size of a pea. My surgeon said it was stuck so severely onto my esophagus. I’m NOT a well woman. I’m prone to infection ALL the time and tweaking of the meds. And if that doesn’t suck enough….
… Last month my 19 year old son went in on January 20th for a complete thyroidectomy. He was also diagnosed with the same rare form of Hashimoto’s/Thyroiditis. This disease started changing my son 3 years ago. Depression, panic attacks, fear of things, trouble swallowing, hair loss, darkened skin. And, actually at one point he was on 125mcg of Synthroid and his TSH was 51.13!!!!! My poor baby slept 20 hours a day and just wasn’t functioning. He was too tired to do anything; getting worse and worse and worse. And as a mother, it KILLED ME INSIDE! Well he had his thyroidectomy done by the same surgeon that did mine. I received a call the next Monday morning from the surgeon and found out that my son’s goiter was so large, that when pathology cut into it they found cancer — Papillary carcinoma. I was shocked because it did not show up on any of the ultrasounds.
I think this website was sent to me because I have not been dealing with this well. I’m totally heartbroken and angry. My son? My only son. No. CANCER????
Well, yes. I’m trying to be strong for my son, be brave. But when he’s sleeping, I’m crying.
My family and friends have reached out and I can’t reach back right now (crying right now), I just can’t. How could they possibly understand what my son and I are going through? They can’t. They’ve tried. It’s been almost a month since my son’s surgery. He’s been to the doctor 3 times since then because he has been so ill. I wish, I bargain, to make him better, for the doctors to maybe, finally get his TSH, Free T4 and T3 NORMAL. I want my son to be ok and live a long life… That’s ALL I want. And all I see is my son sick from this disease….
I have a lot of anger towards our thyroids. They FAILED US!!!
I’ve also heard from family and friends….”Oh, thyroid cancer is the “good cancer”. PLEASE… NO CANCER is good.
Thank you for letting me vent. I really believe this website found ME…
Dear Thyroid….I hate you…I can’t accept what you’ve done to me and my child…. Not now… Maybe one day I can learn to accept….
Written by: Annie —
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, genetic hashimoto's thyroiditis, hashimoto's thyroid cancer, hypothyroid blog, hypothyroid forum, hypothyroid support, mother and son with hashimoto's, rare hashimoto's thyroiditis, teens with hashimoto's thyroiditis, young men with thyroid cancer