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SNAP: Slower Natural Attitude Process!
Yes, I am currently heated! I have a friend who has told me again to SNAP! out of it! That he is tired of being nice to people who come to him with certain things. I said to him, “I feel like I keep messing things up with everything….His response…”So stop messing stuff up and you won’t feel that way. You are what you think!” (their is a little bit more to this, too.)
Now, I understand that this same friends’ father is fighting a tough battle with cancer. He’s fighting a very tough fight. But, even though my friend was the only one to celebrate with me my “no evidence of disease”, meaning, ” No Cancer”, 2 months ago, I have had a very hard time “snapping” out of it! I don’t even know what that means! It doesn’t happen overnight. I am currently unemployed, barely making it financially, and I have appreciated his help and support. I thought he understood, but, maybe he really doesn’t. Even though in this same recent email, he was pushing me, telling me, he knows I can do it!
It’s harder when you are out of work for a long time. I have been constantly looking, interviewing, and I keep going……I don’t know what else I can do for myself….other than run in the relay for life and keep looking for work. He is very busy. I know that. I am busy in a different way. Both of us are in different worlds right now.
The weird thing is, is that he is right. He knows me, knows everything I have been through, and he has supported me. I do care about what my friends say. He knows I am determined and a fighter. So, these words make my temper flare….and I’m angry in general. Not really at him….but, those words, SNAP out of, really piss me off!
Lovingly,
Mich
Tags: cancer's impact on friendships, Dear Thyroid Letters, feeling angry even with a cancer free diagnosis, managing cancer and anger, thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer community, thyroid cancer forum, thyroid cancer patient feelings, thyroid cancer patient letters, thyroid cancer patients friendships, thyroid cancer support, thyroid cancer treatment, Thyroidectomies
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2 Responses to “SNAP: Slower Natural Attitude Process!”
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Being told to snap out of it, or to not burden our friends or that we’re bringing people down or that our life in general is bugging people is SO HARD!!! I’m so glad you wrote in! It is hard to bring ourselves truly to the world on one hand and then always feel as though we’re only filtering the “nice stuff” on the other.
And yes- I feel like a liar 90% of the time because I don’t answer the phone when I’m sad and I RARELY write when I’m sad and I only tell certain friends about my ongoing medical issues. Why? Because I don’t want to be told to “snap” out of it – or that I’m a bummer or a burden.
hugs.
Thank you for sharing this. The pressure of illness on our friendships, the loss of friendships and family is probably the single greatest loss of illness at least for me. Not all my friends are gone – but I have to take CARE to preserve them. And mostly- they too say things that aren’t kind, aren’t right, and don’t sit well with me.
x
Melissa
Thanks Melissa:)
I think it was a combination of two people’s emotions. Sometimes we think that we only are feeling crappy. Most likely, the other is as well. It is hard to tell people at times how you feel. Yes, I have had to rely on friends to hear me out…I do feel bad a lot of times because I feel like a pest. I don’t want to ruin any good friendships. So, I think sometimes we have to keep some things to ourselves.