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Thyroid Mad Libs by Becky

Post Published: 17 June 2011
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 2 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid –

When I think about you, I feel pain, especially when yawning.  In hindsight, I didn’t expect you to go tits up and try to strangle me.  I wish I knew then what I know now. Things would have turned out covered at 100% by my insurance.  Reflecting back on the past two years, I feel ripped off about what I’ve (lost or gained).

What’s changed is beyond my immature grasp of responsibility.  Emotionally, my life has been radically fucked.  Physically my life has changed in a thrashing fit of pain and fear. Financially, my life has laughed at me.  I wasn’t prepared for any of this shit.

I guess what I most worry about is dying a nobody.  Interestingly enough, this disease has taught me fuck all about myself. I had not realized that would be a byproduct of this goddamn fucking torture.

What scares me most about the future is missing it.  I’m learning how alone I really am.  I believe that things will continue to make me fat regardless of my TSH.  I guess what I’m saying is that, my goals, dreams and hopes are buggered.

In closing, I would like to add, please somebody help me.

Love,

And a not inconsiderable amount of contempt.

— Written by, Becky

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2 Responses to “Thyroid Mad Libs by Becky”

  1. Kelly says:

    You have a right to be angry, but you also have a reason to look forward to the future. Getting your life in check now will only better prepare you for what’s next, which I hope is awesome.

    I can’t recall the fits of rage I have been thru since entering thyroid-less hell. So many times I freak out when there is another medical debt collector that calls, a TSH test that is way off, another swollen lymph node, another morning comes that I just don’t wanna get up for, the 50th blood test in 2 years, or talking to another doctor who just doesn’t understand why I still feel like shit.

    I long for something more in my life, so I have been trying not to get mad. I only have so much energy too, and fighting myself or the world only makes life harder. I hope that my words of willingness to embrace what you have left is helpful and not hindering.

    I’ve been through it too girl, and it is far from simple. You gotta keep your spirits up in any way that you can. You have fought and won a battle, give yourself time to lick your wounds and get to know the person that still lives inside of you. You are not alone and never feel declined to open up to others. Cancer is not a curse, but a reason to positvely change your life and those around you. Keep your chin up, we will make it through, one moment at a time.

  2. Marjana says:

    Dear Becky,

    Don’t ever say that you will die a nobody! You are a brave person who deserves respect and love. It is not your fault that you are ill, but how you are going to deal with the illness is entirely up to you. Don’t let it crash you, fight back! You are still the same person, with the same hopes and dreams, pursue them! Don’t let the illness rule your life, don’t let it even come close to the center of your universe. Only YOU own your life, and only YOU have the right to decide how you will lead it, your thyroid doesn’t get a say it this.

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