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Friday October 18th 2019


Da-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na, Bat Thyroid

Post Published: 07 September 2011
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 5 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

So busted!

In 2009, I had an MRI of my cervical spine to investigate a mild case of a wonderful little autoimmune disease called ankylosing spondylitis.  Turns out, my spine was fine, but the radiologist caught you red-handed, sneaking around with that dirty nodule.  Without the MRI I would have never known you were hiding something to biopsy, but then there I was a few weeks later with a needle in my neck and a doctor who said “More than 94% of nodules are benign”.  Of course, you being you, the pathology report came back with the news:  papillary thyroid cancer.

Soon after, there was a surgery I have no memory of, and you were in a bag on the way to the biohazard incinerator.  While your remains were mingling with the other atmospheric particulates, I was separated from my son and pregnant wife, monitoring my radioactive emissivity with a Geiger counter I borrowed from my day job as a geologist.

I can’t say I miss you because my wife made a replacement to keep me

company:  a softer, tumor-free fellow.  He’s certainly more companionable than you and your inflamed, metastasizing lump of gloom.  In your petulant scheming, you failed to realize that for years our family business has been replacing wayward organs such as yourself with plush alternatives.  Turns out, there are plenty of thyroids in the sea:  one’s on my desk right now, this time smiling, and not diabolically.

As for my lovely cancer, my scans have all come out great, and I’ll likely join the swelling ranks of survivors, which is more than I can say for you.

Without regards,


BIO: I’m 37 and live in Maryland.  Ironically, in 2005 my wife and I founded a company called I Heart Guts, a line of silly internal organ plush toys.  Until my diagnosis, we didn’t have a thyroid plush, but now it’s a no-brainer. http://iheartguts.com/


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5 Responses to “Da-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na, Bat Thyroid”

  1. Joyce Ann says:

    Great blog Codi! Here’s to kicking that crummy non-cuddly thyroid to the curb and being C-free forever!

    And you guys totally rock – I’m forwarding the iheartguts.com site on FB. 🙂

  2. Lolly says:

    Great letter Codi and fantastic news too that your scans came out great, here’s to kicking Thyroid cancers butt and staying Cancer free.


  3. Jill M. says:

    I gotta get me one of those thyroids. I too, am a young thyroid cancer survivor, and working in the medical community, I always have some sort of organism, cell, body part plush, sitting on my desk. It’s good conversation, and there usually is some sort of lesson that goes with it for that day, or week.

    This month being Thy Cancer awareness; I have blatantly stolen the Pear Growers assoc slogan of “Check the Neck”, and it’s only fitting to have the plush thyroid to go with it!

    It’s not just 50-60 year-old patients with thy cancer, and diseases, many of us are in our early to mid 30’s. It’s a bastard of a disease.

  4. Becca says:

    I love your website codi!! Thanks for sharing and feel well.

  5. Anita says:

    I also had my thyroid out in 2009! I immediately snapped up your guys/ thyroid & parathyroid pins – a set for me, and a set for my surgeon, who was super-pleased. Time to add the plushie to my collection.

    You folks are the radness. Thanks for all you do!

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