From Hate to Love, An Imperfect ThyMarriage
We only have a few short hours left together. It’s strange, I have cursed you for the last 18 months of my life, and today I feel I need to thank you.
Thank you, dear thyroid, for the last 33 years. Thank you for keeping me warm as I skated on the backyard ice rink that my dad made for me when I was just six years old. I was never too warm or too cold to enjoy every day of my childhood. You even worked overtime on Easter when I would eat a dozen Cadbury eggs. You kept up with me, blessing me with a good metabolism and enough energy to compete for Queen Schoolyard Socialite. I have always slept easily and peacefully, with you on my side.
As I aged, I never knew your name, never knew what you did for my body. Both of my pregnancies were a breeze. I lived my life with energy and enthusiasm. You never stood in the way of my fertility, as other thyroids might have done. I have two daughters who are perfect in every way. And you were there all along…in the background…chugging away. I will never know when the years of hard work began to wear on you. You grew a little larger after my first pregnancy – a silent cry for help. You were too kind to plague me with symptoms as I dealt with new motherhood. You went into overdrive, giving me what I needed to get through 365 sleepless nights with my firstborn daughter. You made me a warm, loving wife and mother. I was juggling it all so perfectly, but I was never doing it alone.
After my second daughter was born, you needed my help. There was a 9 mm papillary carcinoma on your right lobe. So you helped me put on a few extra pounds that wouldn’t budge. My bones were aching. My hair was brittle and falling out. My natural enthusiasm became a deliberate effort. I had taken you for granted, and suddenly I was struck with how much I owed to you. Thank you, dear thyroid, for fighting for me. Thank you for knowing just how to get my attention. Because of your diligence, my treatment will be minimal. My thyroid cancer journey will be a short one.
I want you to know that I fought for you too. I fought dismissive doctors and nurses. I fought through expensive supplements, dozens of ultrasounds and a botched biopsy. I fought for 18 long months to get you noticed. Because of all you have given me, I knew that my symptoms were not just depression, as my first physician diagnosed. I knew it was more than just low B-12, as my second physician excitedly diagnosed. I knew that you were not functioning as you once did, despite my normal lab ranges. I want you to know that even as I cried about your disease, I was grateful. Because of our fight, my loved ones know more. You taught me that my instincts are good. In just a few short hours, I will try to replace you. But you can never be replaced. You are my thyroid. And I owe you my life.
Written by, Sarah Young
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer community, thyroid cancer forum, thyroid cancer patient feelings, thyroid cancer patient letters, thyroid cancer support, thyroid cancer treatment, Thyroidectomies