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Friday December 7th 2018


When I Dream, I’m Healthy, When I’m Awake, I’m Not

Post Published: 14 September 2011
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 10 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

Last night I had the most amazing dream.  It felt so real – the sensations in it were tangible – I would have sworn it was reality.

I dreamt I was fit and strong….running through the woods on the trails.  Over trees that had fallen down during storms, zigzagging this way and that around rocks, and obstacles with the greatest of ease.  I could see the sunlight dappled on the ground as it filtered through the leaves of the trees.  The smell of earth, moss and nature in its glory, the flowers that were blooming as I ran by them – how sweet honeysuckle smells as it wafts across the trail.  Hearing the birds singing, hearing animals skittering around, dragonflies darting here and there…

I felt so good in my body…it was mine again!

Not the wreck I feel like I have now, at the mercy of some stupid autoimmune disease that I have such little control over and that has taken so much from me – my ability to have kids, my hair, my figure, my strength and endurance, my health.  You and your insidious partner, Hashimoto, have taken all of those things from me and I really hate you for that.

Just to feel that strong again, healthy, connected to everything around me….

I woke up feeling so sad.  🙁

Joyce Ann

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10 Responses to “When I Dream, I’m Healthy, When I’m Awake, I’m Not”

  1. Becca says:

    Sniff sniff…oh joyce ann. Thank you for sharing what we all feel and miss about our bodies. Hugs….

  2. Merrit says:

    I wish we could all live that dream, but it would mean that somehow we would all be able to leave our bodies entirely and well, it just doesn’t happen that way. I wish I could have a dream like that. I don’t usually remember my dreams though. I can only imagine the sadness you felt when you woke up to reality.

    • Joyce Ann says:

      Merrit – try thinking of your dreams as soon as you wake up – it helps me to do that. I’ve always had crazy dreams, ever since I was a wee one.

  3. Lori G. says:

    Joyce, my daughter has been going through a very similar situation and it is heartbreaking to see someone you love feeling so bad, so I truly get it. My advice is to reach out for support and surround yourself with people who care about you (real and web friends). . Don’t give up-It will get better. keep going until you find a doctor who you can connect with, and keep the faith that life will get better and you’ll feel like yourself again. Hugs and support. Visualize that dream while you are awake and don’t lose your faith. People care. Keep on writing!

    • Joyce Ann says:

      Lori, I’m so glad you are there for your daughter! She needs that support! I’m trying miss…sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel gets pretty dang dim.

  4. Jenny says:

    I’m right there with you- I was so down about this and how I miss my healthy body! So now I have a new task- research! Anything which has helped others, I will try. Maybe this won’t bring back my dream body but at least I am going to try! Keep your chin up xx

    • Joyce Ann says:

      I agree Jenny – knowledge IS power, even if it annoys the #$%^ out of our endocrinologists when we show up with questions in hand! <3

  5. Laura says:

    Joyce Ann – I dream with a healthy body too. Always feeling so young and free and flexible … always running or almost flying through gorgeous places like your woods. I have to take those dreams as little gifts. It shows me that my subconscious is healthy and hopeful. I hope you can learn to enjoy those dreams as moments to visit your healthy body and have peace. Hang in there. Hugs.

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