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Rinse Repeat, Sound Familiar?

Post Published: 11 October 2011
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 14 responses. Leave a comment

Dear thyroid,

I get up at 7:00 am and wish I could call in sick to work.

Do a quick calculation in my mind and realize I can’t afford to take the time as I don’t have many “sick” hours left.

I pull into the parking lot at 8:00 am and pray for the strength to make it through the day.

I sit at my desk starring into the computer willing the hours to go by quickly.

I have made it to 10:00 am!

Now I must eat a little something – granola bar should be safe.

It is now 11:30 and people are making lunch plans……

I must come up with an excuse not to go. The truth would sound too silly….. I am too tired; I feel dizzy and don’t want to be around anyone; My stomach is bothering me and food sounds gross right now; My mind isn’t working and making conversation is not something I want to do.

 

The day is half over!

 

The afternoon is always the hardest.

The hours go by SO slowly.

I am so lightheaded and tired.

The lights in my office bother my eyes and make everything look too bright.

Can I make it until 5 or should I make up an excuse to leave a little early?

 

I made it, it’s 5:00!

 

Driving home is like a blur.

Get home and try to look alive for my girls.

End up laying on the couch with them and watch TV.

I feel like a horrible mother.

I feel like a horrible wife.

I feel like a horrible friend.

 

Put the girls to bed at 8:30.

Take my vitamins and supplements – Why do I bother?

For some reason I can’t sleep…….

It occurs to me that I haven’t smiled all day.

This thought makes me cry.

 

Do I really have to do this all again tomorrow?

 

Written by, Melissa

 

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14 Responses to “Rinse Repeat, Sound Familiar?”

  1. Peter says:

    This sounds so familiair!!!

  2. Cate says:

    I can’t tell you how this resonates for me. The horrible wife/mother/friend, the “Why do I bother?” And especially, “Do I really have to do this all again tomorrow?” I wish I could say anything to help you. Knowing we’re not alone in this nightmare seems to deepen the despair sometimes. My four daughters give me the strength and determination to figure out what happened to me so they won’t have to suffer the same fate.

  3. Joyce says:

    Wow, sounds like me during my awful hypo days. You sound under-medicated. 🙁 Have you had labs recently? Maybe it’s time for a new doctor? I still don’t quite have a handle on the upset stomach days, but I’m getting there. It’s all such a balancing act… Good luck!

  4. Michelle says:

    when i was reading this I had to scooch over for my husband to read also..as i kept saying oh my gosh!!then he said sweety did you write that?? nope but it sure did come right outa my head…I hate that others feel what i feel but at the same time knowing that someone out there understands me makes me feel a little less alone…sometimes i cry on the way to work because the hours seem so long and they havnt even started yet:(

  5. Regina says:

    Couldn’t have written it better myself.

  6. Melissa says:

    I am actually off all meds for the last 4 days and am miserable!! I was on a compounded formula of synthroid/cytomel before that but it wasn’t helping at all and my T3 wouldn’t raise for anything, so doc wants me off meds for 4 weeks and then retest. I have adrenal fatigue and cant find a doc to take it seriously or help with it so am back to square one. I have some bad days.

  7. Joyce says:

    Yikes, Melissa, no meds for 4 whole weeks?! 🙁 I don’t know what your circumstances are exactly, or what your doctor is thinking(?), but I know that if I went off my meds for 4 weeks I’d be bedridden! Hypo is without a doubt the worst thing I’ve ever been through as far as total body exhaustion – you summed that up perfectly, btw. 🙂 For me I can’t tolerate the T3 – made me feel awful with weird heart palps… So it’s T4 only for me, but everyone is different. Good luck in finding what works best for you!

  8. Joyce says:

    Oops, sorry about the smiley face in the wrong spot!

  9. Tasha weishaar says:

    OH so familuar and also Cate’s response!! We’re all there. That was awesome! Thanks!

  10. Lolly says:

    Melissa

    You must be dragging your butt of the ground by now, not having taken any thyroid meds for 4 weeks. I don’t know your situation either but to stop meds for that long if you need it yikes.. no wonder you haven’t got any energy for anything..

    If you’re not happy with how your Dr. is treating you and you feel they are making you worse then go Doctor shopping till you find one who will treat the whole you including Adrenals..I know easily said than done. Hope you get back on track soon and can get your T levels in a better place.

    Lolly

  11. Melissa says:

    Thanks Lolly;

    I have decided to find a new doctor and I have an appt with her next month. She is more into natural medicine and will definitely take my adrenal issues seriously. I can’t wait! Unfortunately, I will have to stick my currect doc until then bc I cannot go another month without any meds! Omg, it’s been a nightmare.

  12. Lolly says:

    Melissa,

    Hope your appointment with new Dr. goes well think if you stay with that other one they are going to make you really ill. And great for finding one who is going to look at your adrenals too well done let us know how it all goes.

    Lolly

  13. Sandi says:

    I am a teacher and was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto’s though I’ve felt there has been something wrong with me for 3 years. Today was the first time this school year I took off work because I just didn’t want to get out of bed. Though, every day I find myself counting down the hours to go home. I used to LOVE teaching and being around the kids, but now all I can think about is going home. I travel between schools and often eat lunch in my car because I don’t feel like chatting with the other teachers and I want to just lay back and rest. I dread waking up in the morning and trying to do it all over again. I’m hoping the meds start working soon and I can find the right dose. I want to be the same hard-working, creative, fun person that I used to be!

  14. Melissa says:

    I hope so too Sandi! I wish you the best. It’s been 3 years for me and it just has to get better.

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