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Wednesday May 22nd 2019


The Best Thing I Never Had

Post Published: 06 December 2011
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 3 responses. Leave a comment

Listening to Beyonce belt these lyrics out in this song would make one typically think of a relationship gone wrong. However this song reminds me of a gland most people do not think about, or even know about, until something goes wrong….

I was 14 when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I visited my pediatrician to cure a prolonged sore throat and the next thing I know a lump had secretly formed and a doctor at Children’s Hospital is poking me in the neck with needles… I’m rushed off to surgery to partially remove my thyroid… wake up to be put right back to sleep because in fact, my entire thyroid needed removed, not just part of it. Years of radioiodine treatments, changes in medication, thinning hair, sickness, awful diets and constant blood work and I am so thankful to have gone through all of this. Sometimes it takes being put down and out in order to realize how great life truly is….

Dear Thyroid, I do not hate you and I am thankful for the hell you put me through. Once you cheated on me with cancer, there was nothing to do but part ways. After our fight and split, I gained a zest for life and appetite for living that will always far exceed any suffering you caused. Yes, I do often wonder how things would be if we had stuck together because this synthroid substitute is not always right and I experience uncontrollable mood swings, forgetfulness and drowsiness that nobody seems to understand. But when I think of all the life experiences I have had since our split… when I think about how I possess an internal motivation that allows me to out hustle ANY competition or obstacles placed in front of me, I can’t help but smile… literally, smile. You left me with a beauty mark across my neck that looks like a smiley face! I used to cover it up with a gold necklace, but I have learned to wear my beauty mark proudly.

All relationships are not meant to last forever… I appreciate the time you were in my life but look forward to even happier, fulfilling days ahead, without you.

Written by, Vanessa Hubbard

Vanessa was raised in Pittsburgh, PA as the oldest of four children. She pursued her undergraduate degree at Howard University majoring in finance and earning a full athletic scholarship as the defensive specialist on the Women’s Volleyball team. Vanessa is currently finishing her MBA at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and will pursue a career in Sales & Trading upon graduation.



“There was a time I thought you did everything right… I’m grateful that you blew it, I’m grateful that I dodged a bullet…I’m so over you … because you turned out to be the best thing I never had.”


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3 Responses to “The Best Thing I Never Had”

  1. Kelly says:

    Truly inspiring Vanessa! I couldn’t imagine going through that at 14 years old. I was 24, and probably acted like a child during it all. I hated the cancer and my new cancer cursed life. But, I’m 28 now and over the last year I’ve really grown to love myself more than before. And I love my scar too! It reminds me everyday that I am alive, and the fight is a reason to live, not a reason to give up. Stay tough girl!


  2. Jack says:

    Well written and rightfully said. Perception is nine tenths of reality and your view is something special that you recognize. I hope that you continue to be a beautiful life.

  3. Cheryl Shank says:

    Talk about making lemonade out of lemons…
    way to go Vanessa!!!

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