Dear Thyroid, I Am Begging You!
Please let me heal!
Sometimes I hate you. Sometimes I am too tired to hate you. Sometimes we get along just fine. I know you like to run low, and I can cope with that. I can even cope when you spike high. I can get through it, I know it will get better.
When I go to the doctor, I know that I will have to fight for my health. I know that—even though I feel terrible—have to fight to get the right tests run. I know that my doctor will probably fire me. They will run the TSH test and then not know what to do, so they will send me away. After eight years, I can cope when you make doctors run.
But I never thought you would do this to me.
You know that I was sexually abused as a child. You know that we have been in years of therapy together, me and youI. You know that I am healthier than I ever thought I could be after such trauma. But now the stress is high. You are acting strange. It made the flashbacks worse. It was hard to function, so it was time to go back to therapy.
I told my new therapist about you on the first day. About how hard it was to deal with you and the trauma at the same time. I told her how hard it is to keep you happy. She didn’t know. After our first session, she read about you. It scared her. She ran.
My rape therapist fired me today, and it is your fault.
I don’t get to run from you or my trauma. Unlike my therapist, my friends, my boyfriend, I don’t get to leave when it gets hard. I hate that. I hate that I am so afraid that everyone will leave…because of you, because of the trauma. And I hate when it actually happens.
I can handle everything else, but PLEASE….. I need you to stop getting in the way. I need to heal. I can handle everything else, but not this.
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, letters written by thyroid patients, support for thyroid patients, thyroid autoimmune support, thyroid community, thyroid literary healing, thyroid literary support, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid support