Life Redefined: New Thoughts
It finally happened. I don’t really know how or when, just that it did. People used to tell me that a day would come when I wouldn’t dwell on cancer. I didn’t believe them. How could it be possible? How could I ever get through a day where cancer wasn’t at the forefront of my mind? For multiple years, cancer was on my mind every single day.With every ache and pain I felt in my body, I thought about cancer. Every day, different things would cause cancer to take front and center stage in my mind and I didn’t foresee it changing.
And then one day it did. One day not too long ago, I realized that I hadn’t been thinking about cancer so much. It wasn’t always the first thing on my mind.
It’s ironic, though. I started writing this a few days ago, and then last night I had a dream about cancer taking over my body. But here’s the thing…today, I thought about the dream and even talked about it, but I didn’t dwell on it. It didn’t consume me or own me. This is a drastic change in how I would have responded if I’d had the same dream a year ago.
I still think about cancer, but I’ve been able to move away from only negative, heavy connotations and onto an accepting point of view. The reality is, cancer is part of my life and always will be. It’s never going to completely go away, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I am learning to live with this bad thing in my life because I don’t have any other option. I’m choosing life.
I’ve tried to choose life since I was first diagnosed with cancer, but it wasn’t always so easy. I’ve always been intentional about seeking out true life experiences in the midst of dealing with this hardship and pain. All the while, cancer was a heavy burden on my mind and body.
I haven’t changed the life choices I make. I still try to be intentional about choosing life. At some point, though, in the midst of developing this habit of choosing life, cancer moved from the forefront of my mind. Burden eased. No, not gone, but lightened.
If you’re currently in the place of wondering how you can ever live a single day without cancer being the first and last thing you think of, please know that I’ve been there. If you are thinking there’s no way you’ll ever get to a point where cancer isn’t such a heavy, daily burden, I’ve been there, too. I want to encourage you to keep making choices that allow you to seek true life. Keep pressing on, even when the burden is heavy. Make a conscious effort to look for life in every aspect of your day. If you do, I think it will start to become easier. It’s going to take time, but I truly think that you, too, can get to the point where I am now, where cancer is not the focus.
I’m walking with you. If you need to unload any of your burdens, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What tips do you have for others with thyroid cancer? How have you sought life? Is cancer still the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep? How are you moving past that?