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Life Redefined: New Thoughts

Post Published: 07 March 2012
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Category: Column, Life Redefined, Thyroid Cancer in Young Adults Column
This post currently has 4 responses. Leave a comment

It finally happened. I don’t really know how or when, just that it did. People used to tell me that a day would come when I wouldn’t dwell on cancer. I didn’t believe them. How could it be possible? How could I ever get through a day where cancer wasn’t at the forefront of my mind? For multiple years, cancer was on my mind every single day.With every ache and pain I felt in my body, I thought about cancer. Every day, different things would cause cancer to take front and center stage in my mind and I didn’t foresee it changing.

And then one day it did. One day not too long ago, I realized that I hadn’t been thinking about cancer so much. It wasn’t always the first thing on my mind.

It’s ironic, though. I started writing this a few days ago, and then last night I had a dream about cancer taking over my body. But here’s the thing…today, I thought about the dream and even talked about it, but I didn’t dwell on it. It didn’t consume me or own me. This is a drastic change in how I would have responded if I’d had the same dream a year ago.

I still think about cancer, but I’ve been able to move away from only negative, heavy connotations and onto an accepting point of view. The reality is, cancer is part of my life and always will be. It’s never going to completely go away, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I am learning to live with this bad thing in my life because I don’t have any other option. I’m choosing life.

I’ve tried to choose life since I was first diagnosed with cancer, but it wasn’t always so easy. I’ve always been intentional about seeking out true life experiences in the midst of dealing with this hardship and pain. All the while, cancer was a heavy burden on my mind and body.

I haven’t changed the life choices I make. I still try to be intentional about choosing life. At some point, though, in the midst of developing this habit of choosing life, cancer moved from the forefront of my mind. Burden eased. No, not gone, but lightened.

If you’re currently in the place of wondering how you can ever live a single day without cancer being the first and last thing you think of, please know that I’ve been there. If you are thinking there’s no way you’ll ever get to a point where cancer isn’t such a heavy, daily burden, I’ve been there, too. I want to encourage you to keep making choices that allow you to seek true life. Keep pressing on, even when the burden is heavy. Make a conscious effort to look for life in every aspect of your day. If you do, I think it will start to become easier. It’s going to take time, but I truly think that you, too, can get to the point where I am now, where cancer is not the focus.

I’m walking with you. If you need to unload any of your burdens, you can email me at joanna@dearthyroid.org.

What tips do you have for others with thyroid cancer? How have you sought life? Is cancer still the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep? How are you moving past that?

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4 Responses to “Life Redefined: New Thoughts”

  1. Linda Larson says:

    BMC Endocrine Disorders | Full text | The role of Se, vitamin C, and zinc in benign thyroid diseases and of Se in malignant th

    I felt this was valuable information to share with you and your connections..for ALL of us to be well…..hope it helps!
    Linda Larson

  2. Ria the Deer says:

    Great story. It is difficult for most when they get told they have cancer or that their cancer is in remission to not harp on it and ponder and wonder about it. I have had a few scares recently and it does make one think about the getting the full blown Big C, but life is more than worrying. I can see you have come to that point where you have accepted that cancer is not your life, your life is your life! Well done!

  3. Mike5816 says:

    Welcome to the other side of the bridge. You’ve successfully made it across! We’ve been waiting for you. It’s a long bridge, isn’t it? And windy at times too…like you’ll blow off of it and land in the water and float away. But that didn’t happen. The troll who lives under the bridge is bringing up some cake and ice cream to celebrate. Would you like some?

  4. Linda Larson says:

    In one way or another we all will have a “situation” occur that we wish we could avoid…..
    I suppose we all feel our voyage will end with something but we’d rather not think about it.
    When someone learns that they “have” something that is connected to this ~end all~ it can’t be a surprise that we get our minds warped around this information and wonder, could this be it?
    We are only human and scared.
    When we go thru the stages of grief …..this time learning about a condition that will not go away and might cause the end of our stay….we will finally long last find acceptance.
    So when you arrive to this realization…..you might as well dance…..
    Enjoy life big or small.
    Reminding ourselves many do manage to live a long time with various threats~ why not me?
    And sigh,
    do not appolize…….it isn’t anything you’ve done wrong….we’re all the same here. 🙂

    Also what I wrote before above, if you highlight and copy paste it will bring you to some wonderful info…

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