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Thyroid, Get Ready to Rumble
Dear Thyroid..
I am writing to let you become aware of how you have simply ruined my past few months. I genuinely hope you feel ashamed.
Why did I spend all this time feeling confused, angry, upset, and worried about myself? Why did you make me feel like I was pointless and had no hope in life? Why did you cause all these pains and worries and negative feelings I have had to experience? And all the time you were hiding away their slowly, eating away at my body.
What is wrong with you?! Why did you make me feel depressed, like I wasn’t worthy enough for anything- I was a waste of space. Aren’t I allowed to enjoy spending time with friends and going shopping? You made me feel like whenever something positive happened, I had to stay miserable. 24/7 I was questioning myself- “what is wrong with me?!”
Let’s go on to the physical symptoms. The extremely dry skin. The brittle, weak, thin hair that once used to be long, shiny and thick, now limp and gradually falling out over time. The slight puffiness of my eyelids, making me feel ugly every time I looked at my appearance in the mirror. You stumped my growth and made me put on more weight then I would have been without this disease. Did you want me to be unattractive or something?
Please stop the pains. Ouch. The constant stomachache despite just after eating. The terrible back ache whenever I got up/sat down. The muscle cramps. The stomach bloating. Every single day I had to put up with these. You made me feel like crap.
Having an underactive thyroid literally destroys your world(not over-exaggerating!) No one understands how stressful it really is, unless you have it. Thanks to you thyroid, I have suffered from a very bad brain fog. You stopped me from understanding anything I learned at school. This is really bad as I am currently studying my GCE’s at the moment- so you have affected this greatly. My memory and mind are all over the place. It’s such a struggle to learn or to remember even simple things!!
Do you see all the emotional and physical damage you’ve caused?
This is embarrassing g, but you caused me stupid pain and constipation. I suffered from this everyday. I felt so dirty and basically disgusted with myself! Thanks for making my body (especially hands and feet) extremely cold, no matter what the weather was like. Thanks for filling my days with feelings of lethargy and tiredness and that sheer “I can’t be bothered” everyday! I’m not supposed to want to feel i want to be asleep all the time! Why did you also weakness my fitness? This time last year I could easily run down the stairs without being short of breath! Thanks for making me sound like a fat, unhealthy person!
I am so glad that my family are with me to support me all the way. Unfortunately, one of my elder relatives suffered this a few years ago, however she only found out after two years and the doctors said she was completely normal. Yet, I am fortunate that she is obviously experience the same pain as I have, therefore she understands how I feel and can help and encourage me to stay strong and to never give up. Without her, I would be clueless!
On the other hand, thanks to you Thyroid, you have made me realize that I am worthy and allowed to be happy and healthy and have fun, without stressing if my hair was falling out, or if I would be able to actually enjoy something. I should be able to have a normal life, as a teenage girl, not worrying constantly. Thanks for ruining a part of my teenage years!
At first, I thought this battle was never-ending! But now I know that I have won. I have beat you. I’m so proud of myself struggling with all this pain. I’m still dealing with it, but I know I am gradually getting better. I just need the tablets to carry on kicking in. I have another appointment at the doctors sometime after my birthday (January 24th) so they can check to see if I am taking the correct dosage or whatever it is. I just need to wait for time, and I know all this will be in the past and I can move on.
Thanks for making me confident in myself. If I can get through an underactive thyroid disease at fifteen, I can get through anything. Thank you.
Chloe Green x
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, physical symptoms of thyroid disease, thyroid psychiatric symptoms, thyroid symptoms, thyroid's impact on self-esteem, underactive thyroids
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5 Responses to “Thyroid, Get Ready to Rumble”
Leave a Reply to Lindsay
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Chloe,
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. I know the symptoms. I can’t say I know what YOU are going through, because I’m not you. I can only tell you that I have experienced the same symptoms.
It’s bad enough going through your teenage years with all the stress over trying to fit in, college exams, etc. You don’t need this on top of it.
Just be strong and know that you aren’t the only one. I know my niece was diagnosed with it a few years ago. She was 16. Her parents just thought she was upset and being a bitch. Not the case. I told them to take her to a pediatric endo. They found out that she had an underactive thyroid. The doc said it had something to do with her hitting puberty or something…but she seems fine now. She’ll be 21 this summer.
If you want, you can email me at kipilo.jackie@gmail.com. We can talk and you can vent to me if you want.
I hope you have a good doctor who is willing to treat your symptoms and not just what the blood tests show. Sometimes the tests look normal, but really aren’t normal for YOU.
If you go on the generic thyroid meds Levothyroxine, and you don’t feel right, make them give you Synthroid. I can’t take the generic. I feel much better on the Synthroid.
This is a wonderful site. You will find a lot of love and support on here.
Hang in there, baby!
Love,
Jackie Kipilo
Crazy…but true. One of the things I’ve noticed is how whole chunks of time…hours…days…can go by…and I’m non-productive…I…am…in…slo-mo. I was just diagnosed…ultrasound (enlarged thyroid, multiple nodules), elevated TSH…but I wonder how long has this been going on? Haven’t missed a day of work, and I’ve been trying to get things done…One step at a time…for all of us.
Hey Chloe,
I can relate to this 100%. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s and hypothyroidism 3 years ago. It has completely changed my life. I had half of my thyroid removed a month ago. Every single thing you mentioned has happened to me. It feels nice to know there is someone who understands and knows what you’re going through.
Dear Chloe,
You are a great writer and should be very proud of yourself. They say what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger and trust me, that is brutally true!
My daughter struggled and suffered for several years before we really knew what she was dealing with. I dismissed her symtoms and feelings. Her doctors who should have known better, did the same. Thanks to her strength and fortitude she is now (finally) feeling stronger and working to regain her strength and vitality. She is my hero. She inspires me every day. Familiies are made to support and love each other. Thank heavens you and I both have that in our lives. Believe in yourself and never, ever let anyone (a doctor, a friend, a teacher -ANYONE), ever tell you otherwise. Continue to learn how to help yourself to feel as good as you can. Never stop believing that it will happen.
Wishing you happiness and good health,
Lori
Wow cried reading this. This has been my life the past few months. No one understands ! My poor husband would look at me and wish he could help and when he could not he felt helpless. I am so happy to find this site and find others that have gone through what I have. I pray that they get yours under control. They just up’ed my meds so I am hoping for a normal life again here soon.