Well, Dear Thyroid, You Certainly Know how to Spin A Girl
I can’t remember the last time you were nice to me. But what I do remember is 3 years ago when you first started to betray me. I was only a junior in college when you thought it was okay to make me feel unhealthy. You stopped me from doing the one thing I love the most, playing basketball. Because of you, my last two years of college became wrapped around doctor appointments. You tricked the doctors into thinking I had a heart problem by the amount of anxiety, low pulse rates, high blood pressure and breathing problems I had to deal with. You even made them think I had Mar-fan Syndrome and asthma. How could you make me feel this way? You were not found until November 2012, the date I will never forget because it was a few days before my birthday and I had to take my grandmother to the emergency room. Well because of you I couldn’t take her to the hospital, someone else had to because I had to be rushed to the doctors. I went for my routine blood work a few days before I got that call about you! Because of you, my TSH levels were 28.7 when they should have been between .3 – 4.0. That phone call about you crushed every dream I had and opened new fears.
Today is February 18, 2013 and I been on a roller coaster from hell with you. In the past 3 months you’ve managed to destroy a 3 year relationship, a few friendships, my eye-sight, my memory, my mood, my caring personality , my appetite, my social life and so much more. I try to help you and take care of you with synthroid, staying fit and eating healthy but you take a lot from me every day! I can’t even climb a set of steps without being out of breath because you decide you’re exhausted! It’s my last semester at college and you have already made me miss a lot of classes because you want to be tired, moody, depressed and cause body aches. Every day you make me feel like I am weak. You make getting out of bed in the morning the hardest and most challenging thing I have ever done. Some days I want to rip you out and other days I thank you for choosing me and not someone else. The only reason I thank you for that is because I would never want you to destroy someone else the way you destroy me. One day I will learn how to conquer you, until then I won’t stop fighting back.
With all that being said, all I ask from you is to help my family and friends understand this chronic illness. A lot of my family and friends say I am a beautiful person and so caring and that I don’t deserve you. And because of you, I’ve had to lie to my family and friends and say I am fine when in reality I am breaking apart inside. Do you know you’re the reason I cry myself to sleep every night? You put me through so much pain and give me so much fear every day now. How do I explain that to people? That my butterfly destroys me! I know a lot of people who don’t suffer from this chronic illness believe that by giving you synthroid it makes us feel perfect again, but that’s false. Synthroid may help YOU, Thyroid, stay stable, but it doesn’t take away from the body aches, exhaustion, and mood swings you give us. One day though, they will find a cure and you can stop crushing dreams and ruining lives.
BIO: I am a 23 year old female and I am the face of thyroid disease. I was diagnosed Hypothyroidism in November 2012 and have been on Synthroid for 3 months now. I throw everyone off when I say I am Hypothyroidism because I am 6 foot and only 128 pounds. I used to play basketball all the time, I even made it to a D2 college with my athletic skills. I am currently finishing up my senior year of college with my Business Management degree. I help coach high school basketball and work at our family owned grocery store.
Every day I am learning something new about this illness, trying to find ways to help me sleep and live a normal life again, but I know my life will never be normal again. I really enjoy reading posts from others who are going through the same things I am. It helps me stay positive. Thank you fighters and let’s never lose hope! <3
Tags: learning how to live with thyroid disease, letters to thyroids, teens struggling with thyroid disease, thyroid disease in young adults, thyroid disease's impact on life, thyroid's impact on college students