Happy anniversary. It’s been a full year since I first found out about you. I still don’t even know everything about you, but I’m learning. It wasn’t easy dealing with you at first. I had to make many adjustments in my life. Sometimes I still find it hard to deal with you, but I know it will get easier, at least I hope.
I’m going to be 24 in a few days and I’m not like many other people my age. You make me tired, at night when everyone else is out having a good time; I’m usually home in bed because my body aches too much to go out. And now that the weather is getting colder I feel like you want to start playing mood games, you want to see how much pain I can take.
Do you not like the cold? I used to?
But because of you it’s hard for me to enjoy it. And when it snows I used to love going outside for hours, sledding, 4 wheeling, making snowmen and even shoveling.
It’s hard for me to explain to others how I feel because of you and sometimes they just think I’m making up excuses. I’ve had a girlfriend for almost a year now and sometimes I feel as though you don’t want me with her. You mess with my moods and turn me into this person that doesn’t care when she’s the only one who keeps me going when you make me want to break down. She’s young like me, a few years younger, but she likes to have fun, go out and do things, party, and be spontaneous.
But you, thyroid, you make my life boring when all you want to do is take my energy and give me aches. I feel bad when my girlfriend wants to do things, but sits in with me because she knows I don’t feel well or my body hurts or I’m just not in the mood to do anything.
I used to be fun to be around. I used to want to go out and do things. I used to… But that was before you came into my life. Now, I feel like I’m not as fun to be around, don’t have enough energy to do things I used to, and many nights you make me feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.
I just don’t get you, yet you come into some of our lives, make us go thru all different life changes, and stay! Why can’t you just leave? You expect us to be okay with your presence. I’m not, and I guarantee everyone fighting the same battle isn’t okay with it either.
I won’t ever let you win. You can break me down as much as you want, but you will never win. If I’ve learned anything this past year from you, it’s that you’re going to be around for a long time and you’re going to annoy the crap out of me. But how hard I choose to fight back is what will keep me going. I’m still learning how to fight with you. Some days I win. Some days you do… But at the end of this battle I want to be the one who didn’t give up, the one you lost many fights with. I want to come out on top.
On a side note, thyroid, I recently met someone you affected. She has hypothyroidism too. You know thyroid, you’re really throwing the doctors off when you make yourself comfortable in the bodies of thin people and make them a hypothyroid patient. Do you know how many doctors question me and the other girl with hypothyroidism because we are both tall and skinny? You’re crazy. But on a good note, it’s helpful to know someone else going thru the same thing as me. She’s someone who can relate to me in a way no one else can and vise versa.
So thyroid, you might have won a few of the fights this year, but know that I’m learning everyday about you and I’m not giving up. I promise you thyroid, you better be prepared for the years to come. I can guarantee you that you won’t win this battle.
bio – I’m 24 years old, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism November 12 2012. I enjoy being a part of this thyroid awareness and communicating with others about their journeys with this chronic illness.