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You’re a Bad Ex-Boyfriend That Won’t Go Away

Post Published: 16 June 2014
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 7 responses. Leave a comment

teen and young adult thyroid cancer and graves disease

Dear (ex) Thyroid and Phantom Thyroid,


What do you think you are doing? Why do you keep hurting me. You’re like a bad ex boyfriend that won’t accept a break-up. You gave me cancer and ruined my senior year, but you ruined so much more than that. You ruined my entire life. You made me fat. I was 15 years old and over 200lbs. You made me depressed, hungry, tired, and anxious, just to name a few. Do you know what it’s like being a girl in high school?

Do you know what it’s like being a girl in high school dealing with obesity, Graves Disease, and depression?

No…you probably don’t but that is what you did to me. When my endocrinologist told me it would be best if we removed you, I wasn’t THAT upset. I thought my problems with you were going to be over for the most part. But man was I wrong.

The day you were removed was the first worst day of my life, and the beginning of a long journey that still isn’t over. You were removed, and that’s when we found out you gave me cancer. There I was, a 17 year old senior, just five months shy of graduation. I was crushed. I lost the next five months to radiation, no-salt diets, a full body scan, a seizure, and recovering from surgery that not only took you, but 12 lymph nodes that you had infected.

Here we are…over two years later. I was a proud cancer survivor. I had my survivors guilt moments every now and then but what survivor doesn’t? I tried to stay healthy. My levels were stable for an entire year and I was happy to have you gone but you know what….you just weren’t ready to stop haunting me.

Phantom Thyroid, you gave me cancer. You don’t exist. You were supposed to be gone but yet here you are…infecting me and my lymph nodes for a second time just two short years later. I thought it was possible to live a normal happy life without you, but you won’t allow it. I was at a healthy weight and I was happy at first when you were gone. But a year after you were gone, you started rearing your ugly head. My levels were stable but my weight started going back up. I thought it was because I was finally healthy but boy was I wrong. Then I started gaining weight even more rapidly, I started getting hot and cold flashes, random fatigue, random spurts of no appetite and random spurts of immense appetite. At this point, I feel hopeless and I feel alone. I was strong enough for one round, but I don’t know if I can do this again. I can’t keep being strong for those around me when they have no idea how to give me strength, which is not their fault.

 

Dear (ex) Thyroid and Phantom Thyroid, Please leave me alone and let me be happy. I am only 20 years old. This shouldn’t be happening to me. No one else understands the pain I deal with every day. I just want it to stop.

– Me.


Bio: I am a 20 year old girl from the Midwest. I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and Graves Disease back in the summer of 2008 after suffering from a severe panic attack. I beat cancer in January of 2012, and discovered I was no longer in remission as of March of 2014.

{Please connect with “Me.” Many of us have walked a similar mile or a mile that we can relate to. She doesn’t have to feel so alone. Share your thoughts in comments and support!]

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7 Responses to “You’re a Bad Ex-Boyfriend That Won’t Go Away”

  1. Kris says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. I also have Graves. Sending you lots of love. xx

  2. AK Thyroid says:

    You aren’t alone. I’m right there with you. Grave’s and Hashimoto’s.
    I have burn parties to get rid of ex’s things that I still have in the house. Perhaps we all need to have a burn party to burn the ex-thryoid and it’s memories.
    Hugs and Loves

  3. Carolyn says:

    I had thyroid cancer when I was 16. I know where you are coming from . Hang in there! I’ve been cancer free for almost 40 years. It has been a struggle…I have been dealing with hypoparathyroidism and hypocalcemia since I was about 20. Weight has always been an issue. You can do this!

  4. S. Pritchard says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. So many of us are suffering because of problems related to our thyroids. I hope for the day when there are better ways to diagnose and treat illnesses related to the thyroid. Take care and know you are NOT alone. I hope things improve for you soon.

  5. GreenEyes says:

    Big hugs to you! I have had health issues from a very early age (heart, immune) and was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s 10 years ago. I know the terrible frustration with doing everything you can but the weight still remains. I gained 50 lbs after my child was born 9 years ago and am still having difficulty getting rid of it.
    Prayers that your cancer goes into complete and full remission.

  6. Monique says:

    Thanks for sharing. I have Grave’s and had my op thinking it would be over or at least, that’s the impression I got from the doctors. That I would be better off without my bad ex but now I still have to live with my weight problem. That really sucks and more so, as my endocrinologist says the tablets I have to take for another ailment, are slowing my thyroid activity even more! It’s so confusing coz I thought my thyroid was gone! And my problems were over! Instead it feels like I have been deceived and nobody bothered to tell me all the pros and cons.
    You have gone through so much but you are not alone,
    All my Love and Hugs xx

  7. Erin says:

    I had skin cancer at 24, thyroid at 27. Thyroid popped it’s ugly head, just as we were ready to start our family! I feel for you and hope that you can find the strength to get through this for a second time! Since my treatments, my mom has had her’s removed and later discovered her’s was cancer, and my sis had a tango with pancreas issues, fearing it was cancer in there like my father died of! You can get through this! You have SO much to live for, so much to do! *hugs*

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