DEAR THYROID^TM

Dear (ex) Thyroid and Phantom Thyroid,

What do you think you are doing? Why do you keep hurting me. You’re like a bad ex boyfriend that won’t accept a break-up. You gave me cancer and ruined my senior year, but you ruined so much more than that. You ruined my entire life. You made me fat. I was 15 years old and over 200lbs. You made me depressed, hungry, tired, and anxious, just to name a few. Do you know what it’s

like being a girl in high school?

Do you know what it’s like being a girl in high school dealing with obesity, Graves Disease, and depression?

No…you probably don’t but that is what you did to me. When my endocrinologist told me it would be best if we removed you, I wasn’t THAT upset. I thought my problems with you were going to be over for the most part. But man was I wrong.

The day you were removed was the first worst day of my life, and the beginning of a long journey that still isn’t over. You were removed, and that’s when we found out you gave me cancer. There I was, a 17 year old senior, just five months shy of graduation. I was crushed. I lost the next five months to radiation, no-salt diets, a full body scan, a seizure, and recovering from surgery that not only took you, but 12 lymph nodes that you had infected.

Here we are…over two years later. I was a proud cancer survivor. I had my survivors guilt moments every now and then but what survivor doesn’t? I tried to stay healthy. My levels were stable for an entire year and I was happy to have you gone but you know what….you just weren’t ready to stop haunting me.

Phantom Thyroid, you gave me cancer. You don’t exist. You were supposed to be gone but yet here you are…infecting me and my lymph nodes for a second time just two short years later. I thought it was possible to live a normal happy life without you, but you won’t allow it. I was at a healthy weight and I was happy at first when you were gone. But a year after you were gone, you started rearing your ugly head. My levels were stable but my weight started going back up. I thought it was because I was finally healthy but boy was I wrong. Then I started gaining weight even more rapidly, I started getting hot and cold flashes, random fatigue, random spurts of no appetite and random spurts of immense appetite. At this point, I feel hopeless and I feel alone. I was strong enough for one round, but I don’t know if I can do this again. I can’t keep being strong for those around me when they have no idea how to give me strength, which is not their fault.

Dear (ex) Thyroid and Phantom Thyroid, Please leave me alone and let me be happy. I am only 20 years old. This shouldn’t be happening to me. No one else understands the pain I deal with every day. I just want it to stop.

– Me.

Bio: I am a 20 year old girl from the Midwest. I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and Graves Disease back in the summer of 2008 after suffering from a severe panic attack. I beat cancer in January of 2012, and discovered I was no longer in remission as of March of 2014.

{Please connect with “Me.” Many of us have walked a similar mile or a mile that we can relate to. She doesn’t have to feel so alone. Share your thoughts in comments and support!]

We’ve also just launched a Teen and Young Adult Thyroid Support Group on Facebook.

Tags: Graves disease & cancer, teens with thyroid cancer, thyroid depression, thyroid weight gain, young adults with Graves disease

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