And, the Academy Goes to… My Thyroid!
No, you need someone that is 55 miles away from my office, making frequent work day doctor’s visits horribly inconvenient. But to you they are special days, perfect for a special organ.
Earlier this year, I got my blood test reminder in the mail. I sighed, scheduled my lab appointment, and wondered how in the world I would fit in a wasted half day to see our special doctor, Janet.
So, imagine my surprise when I received this phone call from her!
Feeling okay? This news was fantastic! I was feeling ECSTATIC.
“Actually, I feel great.” A pause. A long thought. “Well, you know, I’m a few pounds heavier than I would like, but that’s just because I’ve not been eating that great and I’ve not been exercising like I should.” Right. It’s my fault.
“Okay, well if you’re sure you feel okay I’ll go ahead and refill your prescription. But you be sure to call me if something starts feeling off.”
But I won’t need to. Because I’m fine, I’m treated, it’s all good. I’ll just stay steady on my current natural thyroid dose.
But you, thyroid; you just can’t stand to be in the background. You couldn’t stand to miss your special day this year. You can’t stand for me not to be constantly worrying about you, thinking about you – even though you don’t even function anymore since the radioactive iodine treatment. You STILL want to be the focus of my life.
So what if I haven’t been sleeping very well? I’m stressed out. We just sold a house that we had been trying to get rid of for 6 years. Work is insane. We’re building a 2000 square foot addition. Of course I can’t sleep. It’s perfectly reasonable that I fell asleep at my desk last Monday morning. It’s not to do with you.
So what if I suddenly have constant heartburn after every single meal, no matter what I eat? I mean, I’ve never had heartburn in my life I’ll grant you that, and I’m eating more fruits and vegetables than I ever had, but I’m sure there is some kind of explanation that is all my fault for the heartburn. It’s not to do with you.
So what if my cholesterol levels that were really great are now suddenly high again? See my earlier thoughts about diet and exercise – that’s why. It’s not to do with you.
*Insert long pause here. Really long.*
Who am I kidding? It’s ALWAYS to do with you. And that’s just the way you like it.