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Well, Dear Thyroid, You Certainly Know how to Spin A Girl

Post Published: 26 February 2013
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Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 11 responses. Leave a comment

Well, Dear Thyroid, You Certainly Know how to Spin A Girl

Dear Thyroid,

I can’t remember the last time you were nice to me. But what I do remember is 3 years ago when you first started to betray me. I was only a junior in college when you thought it was okay to make me feel unhealthy. You stopped me from doing the one thing I love the most, playing basketball. Because of you, my last two years of college became wrapped around doctor appointments. You tricked the doctors into thinking I had a heart problem by the amount of anxiety, low pulse rates, high blood pressure and breathing problems I had to deal with. You even made them think I had Mar-fan Syndrome and asthma. How could you make me feel this way? You were not found until November 2012, the date I will never forget because it was a few days before my birthday and I had to take my grandmother to the emergency room. Well because of you I couldn’t take her to the hospital, someone else had to because I had to be rushed to the doctors. I went for my routine blood work a few days before I got that call about you! Because of you, my TSH levels were 28.7 when they should have been between .3 – 4.0. That phone call about you crushed every dream I had and opened new fears.

Today is February 18, 2013 and I been on a roller coaster from hell with you. In the past 3 months you’ve managed to destroy a 3 year relationship, a few friendships, my eye-sight, my memory, my mood, my caring personality , my appetite, my social life and so much more. I try to help you and take care of you with synthroid, staying fit and eating healthy but you take a lot from me every day! I can’t even climb a set of steps without being out of breath because you decide you’re exhausted! It’s my last semester at college and you have already made me miss a lot of classes because you want to be tired, moody, depressed and cause body aches. Every day you make me feel like I am weak. You make getting out of bed in the morning the hardest and most challenging thing I have ever done. Some days I want to rip you out and other days I thank you for choosing me and not someone else. The only reason I thank you for that is because I would never want you to destroy someone else the way you destroy me. One day I will learn how to conquer you, until then I won’t stop fighting back.

With all that being said, all I ask from you is to help my family and friends understand this chronic illness. A lot of my family and friends say I am a beautiful person and so caring and that I don’t deserve you. And because of you, I’ve had to lie to my family and friends and say I am fine when in reality I am breaking apart inside. Do you know you’re the reason I cry myself to sleep every night? You put me through so much pain and give me so much fear every day now. How do I explain that to people? That my butterfly destroys me! I know a lot of people who don’t suffer from this chronic illness believe that by giving you synthroid it makes us feel perfect again, but that’s false. Synthroid may help YOU, Thyroid, stay stable, but it doesn’t take away from the body aches, exhaustion, and mood swings you give us. One day though, they will find a cure and you can stop crushing dreams and ruining lives.

-Samantha (Sam)

BIO: I am a 23 year old female and I am the face of thyroid disease. I was diagnosed Hypothyroidism in November 2012 and have been on Synthroid for 3 months now. I throw everyone off when I say I am Hypothyroidism because I am 6 foot and only 128 pounds. I used to play basketball all the time, I even made it to a D2 college with my athletic skills. I am currently finishing up my senior year of college with my Business Management degree. I help coach high school basketball and work at our family owned grocery store.

Every day I am learning something new about this illness, trying to find ways to help me sleep and live a normal life again, but I know my life will never be normal again. I really enjoy reading posts from others who are going through the same things I am. It helps me stay positive. Thank you fighters and let’s never lose hope! <3

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11 Responses to “Well, Dear Thyroid, You Certainly Know how to Spin A Girl”

  1. Katlin Groce says:

    I feel your pain! Trying to stay positive is the most important thing with this disease. It feels like nothing can make it better, medication, diet and exercise don’t seem to be enough although sometimes i’m too tired to keep up with a good diet/exercise. It is rough. I love how open you are here about your thyroid disease, it makes me feel like i am not alone! I am 21 and have been dealing with it for 6 years, people didn’t believe how sick I felt for years and finally 3 months ago found out it is the thyroid. People still don’t understand though, not unless they have to suffer through it too. You sound like a strong girl, keep on fighting! This disease also shows you who really cares and will stick by your side through anything.
    Stay strong!
    <3

  2. Beth says:

    I feel your pain too!! Its a tough road but stay strong and someday we will get some good teaching, good doctors, good respect and a better life.

  3. Jaimie says:

    All I could do was shake my head in agreement while I read your letter because I’ve been down the exact same path. I’m 23 as well and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through my last semester of college because I was so sick. Thankfully now I have found a doctor (after trying many) that wants to help and she doesn’t give me dirty looks when I show up before my next scheduled appointment because something doesn’t feel right. It’s discouraging to eat healthy and be proactive only to be squashed down again during the next flare up. Keep your spirit up though and remember you’re not alone in the fight!!

  4. Jamee says:

    I am so sorry you are going through this! I agree I wouldn’t wish his disease on anyone! I hope you get to feeling better soon(the new normal)..

  5. Samantha says:

    Thank you all for your support. It’s hard to deal with this illness as you all have experienced. We will get through it together! Keep fighting and stay strong <3

  6. Tori says:

    I understand 110%. I had to have a total thyroidechtomy when I was just 5 years old.
    I have literally been fighting my whole life. My middle school years where so horrible with my body changing and finding the right dose for me. It wasnt until 4 months ago I finally tried Levothyroxine and I have felt so much better! You will get leveled out and you will feel better, I am a 19 yr old college freshman with a positive attitude. I’m ok after batteling weight (I could lose some more) and over 50 UTIs, and through meningitis, I know personally you will get better! :-)

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Sam,
    My letter was published on here 2 months ago called ” freshmen year in thyroid college”. I am almost 21. I have been battling this GOd awful disease for 3 years. I would not wish this upon anybody, not even my worst enemy. I pray for strength for you!! After publishing my letter a thought came to my head about how could I better myself. I have been feeling so sorry fr myself the past 3 years instead of making a difference for the better. My biggest problem this thyroid brought on for a battle is my weight that seems impossible to get rid of. Noone understands what we patients go through, but you know what’? We have a long life a head of us. If we could make more awareness about thyroid disease it would make my day. I can’t tell you how man people do nt even know what it is and what happens. MY dream is to be a speaker for thyroid patients and help young women and men who are going through this . I was diagnosed at 18 and went into a terrible black cloud but instead of dwelling on it I am using everything I have been through to make me stronger as a woman. I want to make a difference,. YOU have got to stay positive Samatha. Do not let it deteriorate you any more, stand up for yourself to your thyroid and people who don’t understand and say “I can” . This past year has turned around for me for the better. I eat gluten free, the terrible mood swings, the tireness etc has gone away completely. My thyroid has been regulated and great since July 2012. – 2 years after being diagnosed. It’s a tough journey and there are still days I may feel tired but I will force myself to the gym or go with friendss. We are still young and have a lot more life to live and things to see. If you need anything at all, just email me. All of us thyroid patients are here for you supporting you and encouraging you to go to the next step!! Don’t let it bring you down! YOU CAN DO It!

  8. Krystal Edwards says:

    Your story sounds so familiar! My thyroid gave me such a different college experience than all my “used to be” friends. Right before my thyroidectomy I pretty much lost everything. I’ve learned to just stay positive and keep my head up! It is really hard sometimes though because a lot of family and friends do not understand! And missing classes from how bad I felt some days really made my grades drop. Stay strong fellow thyroid patient college student!!!! I have 6 more months till graduation and I hope it is my best semester yet!

  9. Samantha says:

    Hi Samantha,

    I’m trying to write a book to help teachers and parents understand students with hypothyroidism. I’d love to include your story. How did your experience with hypothyroidism affect your performance in school? How did your friends or family react? If you have any advice or stories you’d like to share, I think it would be great to hear them.

    Thanks so much, from a fellow hypothyroid student,
    Samantha

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